A Kilner jar? You filled an entire jar? In one year? As a single person? Not saying that’s not great – one jar of waste’s got to be better than one and a half or two, hasn’t it? Trust me, it took us a couple of years to get almost zero, but now that we’re down to a matchbox between the four of us, I feel so guilty about all those years we filled a jar. Look, if it makes you feel better, even I didn’t make my own mascara until 2012 – super easy: just charcoal, beeswax and argan oil, like our great grandmothers used.
Can I see what’s in it? Straws! And is this a paper napkin? Rule one, never go out without your own stainless-steel straw, plate, fork, napkin, cup, metal water bottle, cloth bag, homemade soap, Kilner jar and mooncup, just in case. And see this chocolate wrapper? If someone offers me a wrapped anything, I just refuse. You don’t have to be rude, just say you’ve made a principled decision to embrace a waste-free lifestyle, and that you’d love a smile instead. Now, this old plaster, that’s exactly why I make all the kids’ out of cotton, like our grandmothers did, so they’ll compost. Well, I did until the sepsis. And if you shop 100% pre-loved, you won’t be sending these clothes labels to landfill. Thanks! Well spotted, Jimmy Choos: rule two, zero waste doesn’t mean zero style – well, when I’m done, I’ll just take them to another secondhand shop. You think the Romans ever threw out old togas? Bras? Right, I’m not saying it’s always easy. Pants you can make.
Rule three on going waste-free: dump your day job. I don’t feel I have a choice, ethically, when I look at some of experts –have you seen the size of their jars? I can tell one of them is still buying lipstick. You can’t get beetroot that colour. So we’re pledging to fill no more than a thimble in 2016. It’s all in my book, if you want to pre-order. There are certain things you really don’t want to buy secondhand.
