One of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make: I was awake at eight, would you believe, couldn’t get back to sleep, agonising between loyalty to my best friend or loyalty to the country – sorry, I’m still quite cut up.
So I realised there was no contest, even though I’d just told him I was 100% on board, not after the utterly dishonourable and shambolic way his lot had behaved, though I suppose we’ll still go to Umbria, like normal, no, I can’t pull out, I’m a godparent. No, I haven’t told him, I’ll wait until tomorrow, you know what he’s like after lunch. Tremendous fun, of course, even if he is a complete psychopath, that’s why we’ve all been so close all these years, and Jane’s the same, I mean obviously she’d sell her own grandmother to get her name in the papers, but an absolute hoot, that’s why she’s godmother to our youngest, which is fine, because he’s a little shit as well. No, we’ll all have lunch when the dust has settled, one day we can spare a lost afternoon. Quite admire the way those two knock it back, even if it does make him unfit for high office, huge pity, but if it falls to me to warn people.
So I changed sides, had no choice, yes, of course she’s frightful, that’s why I called her a raddled technocrat in that article, though that’s days ago now, and you know her entire department mutinied, but that’s me all over – where my country’s involved, it’s principle first. He had his chance, I waited up until midnight for a text about the job, but nada, so, with a heavy heart, end of.
In difficult times, the country needs someone trustworthy. OK, she’s a completely zap-free zone, my lot hate her, but that’s what makes her the unifying candidate. Actually, I still haven’t heard from the ghastly woman, I bet she’s nursing some pathetic grudge. I’ll give it three hours before I put my heart and soul behind someone with the vision to offer me a job.
