Wait, don’t talk crap, with respect, I don’t know where you heard that, right? Dave was never involved in that deal, ask Mickey, I met with Ron, it’s all written here, I would put in £10m, the accountants would refinance the mortgage, you can check with Frank, I didn’t tell Dave because (a) he wasn’t part of Project Nibelung, and (b) if you ever mentioned moral hazard to Dave he went apeshit, literally, the one time I said the word “moral” he threatened to send the SAS round to my home and tear off my testicles. It might sound silly to you, but he’s got military experience, right, so why would I tell Dave when I could just sort it with Mickey and keep my testicles, yeah, it didn’t smell right, and if you don’t believe me, go phone Damian, ask him why he’s lying about the £10m, not me, I was never involved.
What do you mean, governance? I find that question very rude. Have you ever worked in retail? Pay when they’re on the toilet? Do me a favour. You think I’m Father Christmas? That’s absolute rubbish – would you mind not looking at me when I’m speaking, right, I find that very rude, thank you. I’ll give you a full breakdown when that is practically possible, no I’m not going to say when, course I’ve talked to the staff. Once. 1997? If you say so. Look, the administrators told Nigel, Ron’s accountant, they’d tell us when they’d got it sorted, right, so why don’t you ask Nigel? They never talked to me, right, if it was down to me we wouldn’t be here, but we are where we are, how could I know Cheeky Charlie Chump was a cruiseship entertainer, right, if nobody bothered to tell me, right?
How much? Do monkeys smell in space? That’s basically what you’re asking me. It’s simple, I was away helping needy kiddies, wasn’t I, so how could I be at that meeting, right, well he’s lying, ask the lawyers, that’s their job, why I would be involved in lending to Gary’s dad if he was already guarantor for Chump’s loan from Mike’s son, Warren, when everybody knows Warren is a fantasist or to use the correct retail term, crook.
