Bye – wait, you’re not going near me are you, not a problem if not, I was going to get the bus, but if you’re going that way, it seems a bit mad – great, I’ll just find my coat and say goodbye. Sorry, wait – did I bring an umbrella? So where are you parked, right down there, hardly worth driving was it, only joking, but parking these days. That’s why we gave up the car, well, that and the environment, with the respiratory disease and obesity, it’s fantastic knowing you’re not adding to the congestion, mind, you’d be amazed how few drivers ever say thank you, is this yours? Oh, the small one.
So if you head north, well, north‑ish, sorry, I’m hopeless on directions and the champagne didn’t help, of course you weren’t drinking – if you had a satnav, I could just tap it in. OK, head for the ring road, no, not a clue, could you turn the heating up, can you see through that windscreen, I’m interested you chose a diesel now they’re going to ban them and it’s not even cheaper, is it, if I did drive, I’d go for a hybrid – whoah, careful of that kerb! Sorry, I’m sure you saw it, no, I admire your confidence, just another mile or so. Stop! Left – wait, slow down – no, right, I mean left, oh are we in the bus lane, how funny, there’s my bus, that’s the only downside, waiting in the cold, but I wouldn’t go back, we’ve saved literally thousands on servicing, MOTs, tax and insurance, and with fuel going through the roof it makes no sense, does it, if you plan ahead, and in my experience there’s always someone going your way, so what’s the point.
Here we are, don’t forget it’s one way. Hang on, you’re not taking yours to football on Sunday, are you? Brilliant, it’s no fun carrying the kit for miles, and if you’re going – perfect, can you be here by 9.30? No, just me and kids, the dog can go on my knee, and could you possibly bring us back afterwards? Now you know the way?
