Don’t know if anyone can help, but for us, now we’ve decided to leave London, it’s the galleries we’re most worried about, after talks, mime and proper fountains… we figure we can live without pop-up cafes once the baby comes. Not saying there’s no art in the provinces – if it wasn’t for the accent, Liverpool would tick all our boxes – but when you think of the big shows, something like the Matisse, you know you’re volunteering for cultural exile. As far as we can tell, there isn’t one dedicated children’s puppet theatre north of Norwich.
It does feel super ironic that the moment you start a family and actually want to go to a museum is the exact moment you’re forced to choose between becoming an ex-Londoner or eating cats. We’ve spent ages exploring the whole zone-three thing (we’d never have missed the Matisse otherwise). Catford’s improving and you hear a lot of good things about Hounslow. But why pick a pebble-dashed terrace under a flight path when you could get a huge Victorian semi with an Aga and a garden big enough for chickens and a tipi and a couple of llamas, plus £30,000 in change from an ex-council shoe box in Hackney? Which is what we nearly got outside Northampton, until this documentary-maker offered another £50,000. It’s like the wild west out there.
So now Bristol’s over, moving north has got to be the best option. Any ideas? Given we’re too late for Manchester, is there anything for under £300,000 on t’Sheffield Moor baht ’at? Or York might work, if we could depend on the schools. Does Derby have independent cheese shops? Leeds is a possible, but we’re still holding out for a literary festival, as well as an orchestra, a book shop (not Waterstones), a village green, quick access to mountains, at least one respected micro-pub, circus skills, a learned society and an annual Pride march. Other than that, we’re just treating this as a massive adventure. And please don’t say Birmingham, we grew up there.
