OK, lovely ladies, welcome to our first official henstorming, yay, wooh, so before we start the wedmin, everyone remember their hen chequebook? Brilliant, just want to say this means the world to me, it’s only the sixth time I’ve curated – anyone else thinking a WAG-themed week in Dubai would be perfect? So if you’d rather keep costs down, I’ve henpriced a Kafka-cum-pampering week between Prague and Marrakech, so we get a bit of culture as well as the foreplay class and lots of lovely hendrinking. No, bear with, Czech naked butlers are a third of the price, so that’s already cheaper than Brighton, plus we get to see the ghetto, then we save the petting puppies for Morocco, plus spa treatments to detox, and I thought baby camels at sunset would be super cute before we go home. If enough people come, the henprice comes down to under £1,500 a head, that’s before activities, which is awesome value. I thought pink flight attendant hen uniforms to travel, then vintage WW2 outfits for Prague, unless anyone wants to go as a Kafka character, and an exotic Arabian nights theme for clubbing in Morocco. Shall we agree nobody spends more than £250?
Can you pass round the penis straw samples? And can you all outline on this pad what you’re planning for the henbook, so we don’t duplicate, in rhyming hencouplets if possible, don’t worry too much about scanning. I’m going to do that walk of shame a certain person thinks we’ve forgotten about, if I can think of a rhyme for vomit. Email them to me by Friday, plus photographs, to Cathy’sEpicHenDoBoomShakalaka!!!, all one word, same for the Twitter account.
Right, henactivities. Everyone here done bunting, lino printing, belly dancing, knicker decorating, climbing wall and penis cake pops? Garters? Anyone not done ceramic phallus modelling? Pity. Or you can embroider these amazing henyurts in the bride’s favourite colours – that’s another £300, but totally worth it. OK, we stick with the 50 Shades workshop, that’s just a £150 hendeposit today. Is it henwine o’clock already?
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