Wait, let me guess, you’ve got Tunworth, and Ogleshield, great. Now what’s the goat – Ticklemore? Thought so. That’s Colston Bassett Stilton and the cheddar – is there another knife? This one’s been a bit close to the Stinking Bishop – I’m thinking Lincolnshire Poacher? Nice, did you curate them yourself? Was it the shop’s idea, the Ukip cheeseboard? No, I love a patriotic selection, only it is the season for Vacherin du Haut-Doubs: that has to be the ultimate in terroir, the authentic taste of cows in winter pasture and their bespoke local silage, though the pine bark is crucial for the resinous quality, obviously. We had one baked for supper yesterday, spiked with garlic, with a few of our own salad leaves and a glorious fleurie, pure French umami. I’ve got a photograph here, if you didn’t catch it on Instagram.
Is it me, or are we missing a simple artisan Caerphilly? Pity. I’m not saying you haven’t lived until you’ve tasted Rancid Peasant on Pittenweem oatcakes, drizzled with Icelandic honey and a few just-picked nasturtiums, because Daylesford’s dried nasturtiums are a perfectly respectable substitute. It’s the classic story, the Rancid Peasant was this respected arms dealer, bad case of burnout, third wife discovers organic micro-dairies, they source this 10th generation Welsh cheesemaker who’s never left his village. Takes them four years to bribe the recipe out of the old boy, it comes out like Dairylea, they have to start all over with some decent machinery and that qualified cheese whisperer from California who mentors Prince Charles? So it’s all about the milk. You only get Rancid’s intense, almost transcendent quality when a herd has access to live Handel, so £30 for 250g is pretty reasonable when you factor in a baroque ensemble, specialist affinage, an automated artisanal cave and having to import unwashed miners’ singlets for the traditional Caerphilly-style bandaging.
Got any crusty bread, instead of a cracker? An artisanal sourdough would be ideal, but that’s a whole other debate. Did I tell you we’ve been to hell and back with our starter?
