Well, RIP Bake Off, I don’t care who they get instead, it won’t be Mel and Sue, can you believe they didn’t even ask them? Of course they’re saying it’ll stay the same, but how will that work without Sue and Mel? I’m still in shock.
OK, Paul and Mary are brilliant – actually, I preferred Mary before they made her over within an inch of her life, and to be honest he’s got a bit smug – but it’s the Mel and Sue banter that makes it, the whole soggy bottom thing, hilarious. And the puns, remember when, Mel – no, maybe it was Sue – anyway, she did this amazing meringue joke, I’ll never forget it, something like, you merRANG sir, genius, and that time they were incredibly rude about madeira cake, talking about cracks.
Who are they going to find with that sort of talent? God, and the spotted dick episode! Davina McCall? Oh, please no, it’s not that kind of show. Well, it wasn’t before they got so greedy, there was an innocence about it, wasn’t there, with the bunting and jokes about baps? And those lovely Smeg – no, as in fridge-freezers, I got a pale blue one, insane price, but I wouldn’t be without it. Can you believe the rubbish product placement they’ll do now, it’ll be like QVC, well, I’m not watching it, not unless they hire someone decent. Remember Jo Brand? Does she do puns? Remember when Sue – no, maybe it was Mel – anyway, she said, “Stop loafing around!” As in bread? Well, it made me laugh.
And if Paul goes, they’re finished, well, yes, that extramarital thing with the American presenter and all, but he came back, didn’t he, kept it vintage, that’s Bake Off for you, so innocent.
They were mad to lose it, you know how much they pay for the Premier League, and they couldn’t even find the money for Mel and Sue. Makes you wonder what the BBC is for, doesn’t it, if they won’t pay £25m for a baking show. Do you know what brand of mixers they’re using this time?
