My life has changed massively in the past few years, and so has what makes me happy. If anybody met me now, they’d never think I was the same person who was doing glamour modelling on the covers of men’s magazines. These days happiness for me is all about being with my two-year old daughter, Ariana. I know it sounds corny but I’m just so delighted to spend every single day with her – it’s a kind of love that you think you will never get. I just watch her grow, and think how lucky I am to have her.
Back in my 20s, when I was modelling full-time, I loved doing it. I have no regrets about the work I’ve done – it was my income and sometimes still is. But now I’m in my 30s I’m no longer as eager to model.
I look back at the photos from my glamour modelling days now and think, oh my God, I can’t believe I did that. What do I look like? But when I used to do photo-shoots, that wasn’t me: when you’re modelling, you’re acting. All I could think about was pound signs. I’m from a very poor background: my mum was a single parent living on a council estate in Llanelli and we didn’t have any money at all.
It’s only because I invested money from modelling that I now live in a lovely house in London and have properties to rent out: if I hadn’t done that, I’d probably be struggling and wondering what kind of modelling work I could get. I could have blown it all on handbags and shoes, and stuff that doesn’t last, but I didn’t, and I’m proud of that.
It was being on Big Brother in 2006 that really changed things for me. I remember getting the call to say I was going in there and crying my eyes out: that was the happiest day of my life so far. Before that, despite having won the Miss Wales competition in 2003, I’d been told loads of times at modelling agencies in London that I’d never be a model because I was too fat, too short, or I needed to get my teeth done. So, I was panicking because I really didn’t know how I would ever make it, working in bars to make ends meet and getting nowhere fast. Nine years down the line, thanks to that show, I’m still working, and I loved the whole experience – although, after 86 days in there, I was ready to leave.
Although I’ve put myself there, being in the public eye isn’t always easy: it’s brought me some of my happiest times, but also some of my unhappiest. [Thomas’s six-month affair with footballer Ryan Giggs led to high court privacy proceedings in 2011, in which she was accused of selling her story to a tabloid and of blackmailing the player – both of which accusations were subsequently shown to be false.] During the court case, I was the most hated woman in Britain. I was so unhappy – I felt I couldn’t leave my house with all the paparazzi camped outside: I just used to roll around on the floor, crying my eyes out, and curl into a ball. I was drinking heavily, too. I’d never been a drinker, but it was the only way I could deal with the feeling of being hated. I fell massively into depression and lost loads of weight. I was getting lots of abuse on social media, too, and reading anything bad about myself tipped me over the edge. I would dwell on it so much.
The way back to happiness after all that was meeting my boyfriend Adam. He didn’t know much about me when we met, because he doesn’t read the tabloids. He’s a commodities trader, so it’s more the FT. He gave me so much support at such a difficult time, offering to come to court with me, and helped me move on quickly. Now we have such a great life together. If I get abuse on Twitter, I just block it and think: how sad are you? And the tabloids pretty much leave me alone. Now that I’m leading a normal, happy life they’re not really interested.
So my focus now is Ariana, and my own businesses – I’ve got my own swimwear range online, which I’ve designed myself, and a baby boutique. I still do some modelling but if a lingerie shoot comes in, it’s got to be the right publication as I’m really fussy now. I don’t feel totally comfortable doing it any more, not with the new businesses I have.
In my modelling heyday, happiness was doing a photo shoot and then going out clubbing with the girls. These days, it’s going out for a walk with Adam and Ariana and then chilling out on the sofa and watching a movie. I love being a couch potato, being a bit of a slob on the sofa with my daughter running up to me so I can just look at her.
And going home to Wales always makes me happy, although it’s hard now with my dad being ill with cancer. But I still love that drive to the end of the M4, and going to see my dad and then going to my mum’s house: I get there and she’s got all my favourite things in, and I sit there in my pyjamas and eat. Then we’ll head to the beautiful Gower peninsula, climb a hill and just sit there, looking at the beach and how beautiful it is. My life’s changed so much in just a few years, but that never changes.
Imogen Thomas was talking to Elisabeth Mahoney
