A vulnerable amateur footballer has told how an out-of-body experience was all that stopped him from stepping in front of a train.
Aaron Connolly bravely told the East Kilbride News how he was on the cusp of taking his own life after going missing on a night out earlier this year. But hearing his son’s voice brought him back from the precipice.
The 27-year-old has a history of mental health issues and previously told the News about his ongoing battle with depression in the hope of encouraging more young men and women to open up.
And just when it seemed like Aaron had turned a corner with his demons, the father-of-one was just a step away from ending it all.
Speaking exclusively to the News again, the ambassador for mental health charity Back Onside, said: “My intention was to commit suicide that night.”
In April, the striker – who previously played for East Kilbride Thistle and EKFC – vanished while partying with workmates in Edinburgh.
After falling deeper and deeper into a dark depression, struggling to find a way out, Aaron found himself in a place he never thought he would be – on the verge of suicide.
His disappearance left his family and friends fearing the worst – and it was their ingrained love for him that stopped Aaron taking his own life.
He added: “I allowed the negativity and worthlessness to get at me, and I made the decision I was done.
“But literally at the last second before I stepped out in front of a train, I had this sort of out-of-body experience and I heard my son shouting on me.
“From what I remember I stepped back and just got on a night bus to Glasgow then another bus to Aberdeen.”
By this point Aaron had been reported missing and a nationwide appeal had been launched to find him.
Thousands of people shared posts about his wellbeing by his friends, family, Police Scotland and teammates.
“I was purely trying to keep myself safe because I didn’t feel it,” he said.
“I tried to keep myself in the public eye, because I was still getting the thoughts at that point, but I knew if I kept myself around the public then, hopefully, I wouldn’t do anything.
“There’s a bridge in Aberdeen and I sat there at the water for a few hours. Eventually I got a bus back to Glasgow.”
As soon as Aaron arrived back in Glasgow, the following evening he was detained by a police officer and taken straight to Glasgow’s Royal Infirmary where he spent several hours in A&E.
But his journey was far from over.
Following his recent struggles, Aaron has taken to Twitter to talk openly and honestly about his issues and to help raise awareness of mental ill health.
He added: “I’ve made a lot of friendships through social media just by being so open and honest. I’ve had a lot of people message me about things they’re going through and people who I check in with daily to make sure they’re okay.
“It think it’s hugely important to speak out, give advice and learn from other people’s experiences.
“ If I can help one or two people, great, if I can help even more, that’s wonderful.”
Reflecting on his experience, Aaron said he should have “just spoken up a little bit earlier” and he may not have ended up in as bad a shape as he did.
“In a way, I’m thankful for the experience now,” he said. “I’ve now seen how bad it can get for other people. There’s a lot of really unwell people out there who need help and support and this experience has given me the inspiration to go out and help others.
“I hope other people can see that I was as low as you can go, in a locked ward only four weeks ago, and I came out the other side.
“I met some really good people who are just going through difficult times.
“It was a very intense, difficult and sometimes explosive environment and not something I would wish on anyone.
“ But if that’s what’s required to keep you safe, it’s a great support.
“That’s the sort of memories I’ll take away from this – there were some truly inspirational staff and patients who really helped me and I’ll remember that.”
■If you are struggling with mental health or simply need to talk, help is available.
Samaritans provide confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Reach the 24-hour helpline on 116 123. Back Onside can be contacted by 07528243100. The Mind infoline can be reached by calling 0300 123 3393.
