Age: Ancient but generously renewed every generation in slightly different form.
Appearance: Abundant.
Wait, wait – I know this one. It's hatred of women, isn't it? I would also have accepted "dislike" or "mistrust." You are correct. Or at least, you were.
What do you mean, was? I'm a man. I'm never wrong. I leave that kind of thing to those with uteri roaming about their bodies and making them all wonky in the head. The Macquarie dictionary –
The what? Australia's answer to the OED.
Australia's answer to the …? The mind boggles. But continue. The Macquarie dictionary has expanded its definition of the word to include "entrenched prejudice against women".
Well, I do hear there's a lot of it about. A bit unfair on the ladies, I think, especially when a lot of them are so pretty. But why have they changed it now? It's in the wake of Australian prime minister Julia Gillard's speech in the House of Representatives in which she lambasted leader of the opposition Tony Abbott for his sexism, misogyny and hypocrisy in criticising her for standing by the recently sex-textually disgraced Speaker Peter Slipper.
Hang on – I know this one too! It's the one where she advised her oppo to look in a mirror if he wanted to know what misogyny looked like in modern Australia, isn't it? Yes, and then in a 15-minute bravura performance went on to list some of his choicest utterances – including his address to "the housewives of Australia as they do the ironing" and his description of abortion as "the easy way out" – and behaviour such as deliberately standing next to a sign saying "Ditch the witch" and shouting abuse at her across the House.
I remember. It was brilliant, especially for a girl. They're not normally that confident, are they? I wonder if she got her husband to write her speech? No, you dick, she didn't. And Tim Mathieson is her partner, not spouse.
Hmm. Figures. OK. Let's go outside. You and I need to have a little talk.
Do say: Anything you'd say to a man, with exactly the same degree of respect and consideration.
Don't say: Anything bloody stupid. Come on, people, this isn't rocket science.
