PRAY FOR PATRICK
Arsenal weren’t the only team to charitably gift their opponents an unopposed goal on Sunday afternoon, although the alarming frequency with which they have done so this season means their random acts of kindness are no longer considered headline news. A club it is probably fair to say that are not historically renowned for their fair play, evenhandedness and sportsmanship, Nasty Leeds may not win the unlikely return to the Premier League that was theirs to lose just a couple of weeks ago, but under Marcelo Bielsa they have won an even more unlikely – albeit financially less lucrative – place in the hearts of what the kids these days call “haters”, who had hitherto held them in very little regard.
Not content with running his players’ legs into stumps at training, forcing them to pick up litter for several hours to see how the less fortunate live and conducting a fascinating and lengthy tutorial on how to beat Frank Lampard’s Derby County after being accused of a lack of sportsmanship for sending a “spy” to monitor one of their training sessions, everyone’s favourite Argentinian eccentric made the news for ordering his side to let Aston Villa equalise after Leeds had taken the lead in circumstances considered outside what some people consider to be “the spirit of the game”.
With Jonathan Kodjia prone on the deck with knack that would eventually force him off, Villa’s players appeared to down tools when it looked like Tyler Roberts was about to put the ball out of play. Instead, he played it up the wing to Mateusz Klich, who promptly cut inside and did a naughty goal. Demonstrating an ability to react that had been conspicuous by its absence mere seconds previously, Villa’s players railed at the injustice of it all and a brawl ensued in which an untouched Patrick Bamford flung himself to the ground holding his face in a successful bid to gull referee Stuart Attwell into showing Ahmed El Ghazi a red card the Dutch winger did not deserve.
Meanwhile on the touchline, all hell was also breaking loose, where Villa boss Dean Smith and his self-appointed barometer of morality, Plain Old John Terry, were railing at the injustice of it all. All up in Bielsa’s grill demanding he order his side to let them score an equaliser, they seemed utterly bewildered when he acceded to their request. With only minor and entertaining interference from Pontus Jansson, Albert Adomah promptly sallied forth and scored into an empty net to make things all square and earn his side a point. “Full respect to Marcelo for doing that,” tooted Smith. “I think sportsmanship has prevailed in the end.” Of course, the burning question to which we will never know the answer is whether or not Bielsa would have been quite so magnanimous in the face of such controversy if his team were still in contention for automatic promotion. As a noted man of principle who has always adhered to a strict moral code, the smart money suggests that, yes, he probably would.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He came here to apologise after the game because from 60 minutes in, he’s saying to me he’s going to do me, he’s going to hurt me for that game – and this is the guy who’s the face of MLS as he calls himself, but this is the way he plays on the field. So I don’t care. You don’t say that on the field. I’m not going to accept his apologies. It’s unacceptable” – Nedum Onuoha gets fresh and funky at the trash talk of mild-mannered LA Galaxy forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic in the MLS win over Real Salt Lake.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Maybe it’s the Tin adding to my confusion – I mean, it’s definitely the Tin – but given the scenes at Elland Road, are Nasty Leeds still Nasty Leeds? I mean, it was nasty them scoring in the manner they did with Kodjia having gotten hurt, but Roberts tried to be nice before Klich went full nasty, and the scenes after that were probably more pwopah nawty than nasty. Bielsa letting them score was far from nasty. Anyone else confused or shall I just lay off the Tin?” – Ferg Slade.
“On the day of the great Nasty Leeds controversy/fiasco/great sporting gesture, it was great to see David Luiz rise to the occasion. Down to 10 men, a sub waiting, you could see his little brain ticking over. ‘If I clutch at my groin, put the ball out, we can make the substitution and they will be morally bound to give the ball back.’ To think footballers would feign knack to gain even the smallest of margins. Oh David, how could you?” – Rob Worsfold.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rob Worsfold.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Stevie Chalmers, scorer of Celtic’s winning goal in the 1967 European Cup final, has died at the age of 83.
Czech Republic international Josef Sural has died after a minibus carrying seven members of Aytemiz Alanyaspor’s squad, including Steven Caulker and Papiss Cissé, crashed in Turkey.
Spanish FA suits have approved the Copa del Rey switching to a single-match format, with the exception of the semis.
Like a compass-free rambler on a lengthy trekking holiday, Manchester United’s Romelu Lukaku is not sure where he’s going to be in five months. “I don’t know, I am not here to entertain rumours,” he parped, as disappointed rumours slunked out the door.
With The Fiver’s invitation still apparently lost in the post, the Football Writers’ Association has named Raheem Sterling and Nikita Parris as its players of the year, begging to differ with the PFA, which gave its gongs to Virgil van Dijk and Vivianne Miedema.
Plymouth reckon slipping back into the League One relegation zone with 90 minutes to play is the ideal time to mutually consent Derek Adams.
And real-life Football Manager dept: get your applications in for the Kingstonian job (must have strong motivational skills) here, and the Darlington job (desire and drive to succeed necessary) here.
STILL WANT MORE?
Sid Lowe on Barcelona winning La Liga again.
Floating football brain in a jar Marcelo Bielsa has given Nasty Leeds something to be proud of again, writes a fellow floating football brain in a jar.
Former Tottenham and Ajax boss Martin Jol provides a timely tactics briefing. Meanwhile, Mario Melchiot reckons the current batch of clever kids can pass their Big Cup semi-final test. And one more Ajax read for the road, from Bart Vlietstra.
Relentless Arsenal sealed their title and Chelsea look ready to challenge on all fronts reckons Rachel Brown-Finnis in this week’s WSL review.
Get your 10 Premier League talking points.
Where the hell did that come from? Andy Brassell on Schalke’s dazzling derby display that left Dortmund dizzy and all but out of the Bundesliga title race.
Torino have Big Cup qualification in their sights after their takedown of Milan, so says Paolo Bandini.
The World Cup must be a mid-summer feast for the women’s game to thrive on, writes Tanya Aldred.
Chris Wilder gets his hair cut once every three weeks. For more nuggets of info about promoted Sheffield United read this entertaining piece by John Ashdown.
WHERE ARE YOU? Here’s Nick Miller with the story of Norwich City’s Premier League return.
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