Fresh from signing a deal to star in Woody Allen’s as-yet-untitled TV series, Miley Cyrus cements her status as a showbiz elder by getting hired as a mentor on the US version of The Voice.
In some ways, Miley has been informing the world of her professorial status for years. It was all the way back in 2013 that the erstwhile Disney star opined of Justin Bieber: “I do mentor him in a way. Because I’ve been doing this shit for a long time, and I’ve transitioned, and I don’t think he’s done it yet.”
As of next season, then, she will be helping Voice contestants to transition into the most Mileyish – Cyrusian? – version of themselves. She announced the news via an Instagram post, which showed her applying her famous tongue to the turnaround button on Voice judge Christina Aguilera’s rotating chair. “Lickin @xtina buttonz!” ran the communique, conjuring possible intros for Miley’s big motivational speech. “You got big dreams,” this could run. “You want fame. Well, fame costs, and right here is where you start paying. In saliva.”
Incidentally, I know she deplores the very idea of publicity stunts, but isn’t it time Miley’s management looked into taking out a billion-dollar insurance policy on Miley’s tongue? It’s clearly the Betty-Grable’s-legs of the early-21st century, and should be priced up accordingly.
