Mike Ashley

Tom Parry sets the bar high this week with his Henry VIII-inspired effort
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Dave Midgley seems to be suggesting that Mike Ashley doesn't really have a clue
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'He isn't tall and he isn't thin, but we all know a plonker when we see one,' sniggers Daniel Patijn. We can't help thinking our protagonist would have made a better Del Boy, mind
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Mark Ireland takes a bit of inspiration from the Fiver to create his entry
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'Beef stock, chicken stock, vegetable stock, laughing stock.' George Soiza surveys the contents of his kitchen cupboard
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David Rees unveils his theory of Geordievolution
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'Chris Hughton's reign summed up,' toots Steven Moore
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Oliver Sparrow stops by the Newcastle managerial merry-go-round, where 'Alan Pardew is the next lucky man to be taken for a ride by Mike Ashley'
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You knew there was going to be a Jabba the Hutt in here sooner or later. Jimmy Harvey does the honours
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'Finally, Mike Ashley finds a manager that is prepared to select him.' Jason Froggett stumbles on the only plausible explanation for Newcastle's managerial change
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Douglas Fenech reckons 'you've got to hand it to Ashley. He's way funnier than David Cross'
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'I had ideas of my own that Chris refused to accommodate,' parps Ashley in Dennis Law's effort.
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'Mike Ashley doesn't know when to stick with the excellent hand he already has,' sighs Adam Williams
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'Mike Ashley felt it was time to gamble on a new manager. “0” – everybody loses!' titters Mark Ireland
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'Sooner or later, Mike Ashley was bound to run out of candidates to take the Newcastle job. Not yet, though, not yet. He still had one ace left up his sleeve.' Rob Marriott shows an impressive eye for detail
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'On the first day of Christmas Mike Ashley gave to me, a Pardew in a pear tree.' Chris Fleming brings some seasonal cheer to the Magpies
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'As Mike Ashley appoints his sixth manager as owner of Newcastle United, I get the feeling that might not be all folks' warns Phil Brown
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'Mike Ashley aims for the top' in James Needham's effort
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Coachie Ballgames visits 'the vast, magical farm from which Mike Ashley harvests managers'
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'The joker/jester/fool/buffoon (delete as applicable): someone employed to tell jokes and provide general entertainment. Every club needs one' says Tom Nycz-Losi
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'Goodness knows what he sees in the mirror but I'm sure Mike Ashley thinks he's a genius' says Tom Nycz-Losi
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John Paul Barry: 'Despite his debut win over Liverpool, Alan Pardew knows he's never far away from the chop!'
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'Scooby and the gang get called in to investigate their biggest mystery ever: Mike Ashley's behaviour' – Ben Daley
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'He's behind me.' ... 'OH NO HE ISN'T.' Al Balmer understandably thinks it's the pantomime season at St James' Park
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Sadly for Newcastle fans, the wrong Ashley was written out of the script this last week ... Jason Froggett raises a smile
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