DON’T STOP
Unlike the player himself, this Raheem Sterling story just runs and runs. Sterling, of course, recently signed a legally binding contract to become the world’s first seven-day-a-week, 24-hour non-stop footballer, if the self-righteous flak he’s been copping all week is anything to go by. And last Sunday, he was caught bang to rights on camera in Estonia, having momentarily stopped playing football. There he was, sliding across the floor on his face, his legs no longer moving, having just drawn the free-kick that helped to win a European Championship qualifier for England, saving erstwhile Halmstads, Orebro and Neuchatel Xamax high-achiever Mr Roy the ordeal of fielding some very awkward questions. What an indolent wage thief! And ending up in the repose position, too, no doubt planning on snatching forty winks like some sort of communist, sleep paid for by you, the hard-working taxpayer. And don’t get Roy started about the 63-minute bohemian sit-in on the bench, when the only discernible movement in Sterling’s legs was a few muscle fibres repairing themselves! No wonder he was furious!
But it was inevitable that Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers would eventually launch a defence of his player, and sure enough in some press conference or other this afternoon, he addressed the issue of Sterling’s alleged request to “sit out” the Estonia game. “It’s grossly unfair because it’s something he didn’t say,” began Rodgers, his pearly white teeth arranged in the ‘smile’ format, albeit with a little frost forming across them, suggesting he’s not actually that happy with the current state of things. “Some of the things that were said weren’t true. I’ve had Sterling come up to me before and tell me he is tired in the legs, and he’s gone on and played brilliantly. This week has shook him a wee bit, but he’s been working well and has been brilliant in training. He’s back here in a secure environment.” Ow!
Having launched one not particularly subtle shot across Hodgson’s bows, he then decided he might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. “The best players cannot play every single game at the very top. You can break young players and at the age of 27 their careers will be over.” However Rodgers did offer an olive branch to England, if not Hodgson. “We are not club versus country, we are club and country. We take pride in our players playing for their country.” He then made a point of congratulating England for winning both of their qualification matches, the rest of the home nations for doing well too, and specifically and signally Gareth Southgate for taking the England Under-21s to their Euro finals. Having made his fairly obvious point by omission, Rodgers then went off to prepare for Liverpool’s weekend match at QPR, where Daniel Sturridge is supposed to return from the knack he picked up while being over-trained by England, and poor old Raheem will find himself slaughtered if he does some of his non-stop footballing, and slaughtered if he doesn’t. Well done, Roy! England’s future in safe hands.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Both teams’ players were disgraceful, they didn’t behave like professionals. It was a disgrace and it means lots of work down the drain. I’m very bitter” – Deportivo Roca coach Diego Landeiro has the right funk on after 12 players were sent off in this fun and games in South America dept special from the Argentinian third tier.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Nice of you to remind us of FAI chief John Delaney’s birthday (yesterday’s last line). I can only speculate as to how vociferously he celebrated it but I am reminded of his, er, rousing speech to a group of Irish fans in Poland at Euro 2012. Let’s just hope he made it home with his shoes on this time” – Daniel Doody.
“Yesterday’s Quote of the Day had Serbian interior minister Nebojsa Stefanovic accusing Albania of a lack of maturity. Can I be the first of 1,057 people to pre-empt the Albanian response by predicting that they followed the school playground staples of football and scrapping by offering a conciliatory handshake, only to withdraw the hand at the last second and thumb their collective nose” – Ed Taylor.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Rollover.
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WIN! WIN! WIN!
We’ve a pair of home tickets to give away to Sunderland v Arsenal in the Premier League next weekend. And we’ve still got a football table signed by the Chelsea first-team squad and a day’s training at Cobham up for grabs in this here competition.
BITS AND BOBS
Surprise, surprise, the unexpected hits you between the … oh, hello reader, we were just having a moment. The German judge overseeing Fifa’s investigation into the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding process reckons the report can’t be published in full due to legal reasons. “Publishing the report in full would actually put the Fifa Ethics Committee and Fifa itself in a very difficult situation,” roared Hans-Joachim Eckert.
Today in maturity news, José Mourinho has opted for the approach of sarcasm in response to Roy Keane’s criticism of him for offering a pre-full-time handshake. A handshake, for goodness’ sake. “I appreciate the comments,” he snided. “I think [Roy Keane and Paul Lambert] are two great examples of polite and very well-educated people, and because I’m a humble guy who tries to learn every day and with every experience, I appreciate the comments.”
Berti Vogts has quit his role as head coach of Azerbaijan in the wake of a 6-0 shellacking by Croatia. “He said that the team had lacked assertiveness in their last game,” parped a statement from Azeri FA blazers.
Peterhead striker Andy Rodgers has been banned for two matches after describing the people of Fife as “mutants” and “absolute creatures” in a series of tweets.
Elsewhere, Santos striker Leandro Damião could be suspended for as many as six games after being charged with “unsportsmanlike behaviour” for pulling his own shirt in a bid to win a penalty.
And Derry City have got their collapse in early before next month’s FAI Cup final after their bench broke during a team photo-shoot. “We all had a good laugh about the situation before a new replacement bench was carried on to the pitch and the photograph was eventually taken,” cheered boss Peter Hutton.
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STILL WANT MORE?
Usually when Jacob Steinberg, Barry Glendenning and Nick Ames hang out during the week it is to practice and perform in their Rural Alberta Advantage tribute group. This time, however, they dipped their toes in different waters and previewed the weekend’s action in the Premier League.
We don’t know if Scott Murray likes The Rural Alberta Advantage, but we do know that he likes Eddie Gray’s wonder goal against Burnley from 1970. That’s why he has written about it for the latest instalment of of Golden Goal.
Get away from all that Rural Alberta Advantage nonsense by sticking your nose in this exclusive interview with Arsène Wenger by Amy Lawrence about the time when his team were well good. Said extract comes from Amy’s new book. Buy! Buy! Buy!
Amy also got Arsène to go through his Invincibles team, explaining why Ashley Cole is the “regret of my career”.
Proper Journalism’s David Conn has written about Labour’s plan to get fans on Premier League clubs’ boards. You can probably guess the problem.
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