Full time: Middlesbrough 1-0 Hull City
Middlesbrough go above Brighton with a fortuitous but potentially crucial victory. You have to feel for Hull, who were excellent and controlled the second half, but equally you’d need a hard heart not to be happy for Aitor Karanka after the week. As Google Translate would say: Fútbol? Infierno sangriento. Thanks for your company; night!
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Middlesbrough score an injury-time winner with their first shot on target. Adomah, on the right corner of the box, curled a flat left-footed cross into the area, where Nugent flicked a very accomplished header into the net from 10 yards. Aitor Karanka went ballistic when it went in. A dramatic end to one of the stranger weeks in Middlesbrough’s history.
GOAL! Middlesbrough 1-0 Hull (Nugent 90+1)
Hull have been mugged!
90 min There will be two minutes of added futility.
89 min Nugent, in the inside-right position, runs onto Ramirez’s cute through pass and hits a first-time shot that is brilliantly blocked by the sliding Dawson.
86 min Robertson slaloms infield from left back, plays a square pass to Hernandez and keeps running. Hernandez dinks a return pass over the top and Robertson, 15 yards out, tries to lob a header over Konstantopoulous. He can’t get enough on it and it’s a routine save, but it was lovely, enterprising stuff.
In other news, the bloke sitting to the left of the Boro chairman Steve Gibson is asleep. Literally.
83 min Middlesbrough haven’t had a shot on target all game. Hull have had three, though their best chances were the ones that were off target.
82 min What a chance for Elmohamady! Hernandez was found in space by Diame, 20 yards from goal. His low shot was blocked by the outrushing Gibson and deflected to Elmohamady, who screamed a volley into orbit from six yards. He was under pressure from Friend, admittedly, but he should have scored.
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81 min How about that darts last night?
79 min These teams certainly know how to defend. You’d almost think their managers played at centre-back for two of the world’s biggest clubs.
78 min A Hull substitution: Snodgrass off, Elmohamady on.
75 min Nsue - aptly named, something always happens when he gets the ball - finds Adomah, and he hits his cross straight at Huddlestone.
72 min Nicola Carter will be pleased: Abel Hernandez is coming on to replace Sone Aluko for Hull.
71 min Now Middlesbrough are having their best spell of the half. Aitor Karanka replaces the willing, unable Jordan Rhodes with David Nugent. Rhodes will be fine, he’s just low on confidence. He didn’t play well tonight, but equally he didn’t sulk or hide.
69 min “I’ll give you pop-culture reference,” says Art Durbano, a statement I like to imagine being shouted by John Goodman in Barton Fink. “Nice tackle a few minutes back by Adam Clayton. I just wonder why, at his age, he’s still playing.”
67 min Ramirez escapes Huddlestone on the left and then falls over just inside the box. Andre Marriner says play on, though disappointingly he doesn’t wave play on. I think it was a foul actually, albeit it outside the box. It looked like a dive because Ramirez went over about four steps after the tackle, but I think he was stumbling in an attempt to stay on his feet before realising the essential futility of existence and falling over.
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65 min Boro are in trouble here. Hull have been far better since half-time, and a goal is on the inevitable side of likely.
63 min Snodgrass’s dangerous inswinging free-kick is bravely punched away by Konstantopoulos under pressure from Dawson’s right boot.
61 min Hill break three on three, but Aluko takes the selfish and wrong option. Boro counter-counter-attack, with Stuani on the right crossing low towards Rhodes at the near post. His first touch knocks it out of play, and at the same time he is tripped by the sliding Dawson. Had his first touch been better he might have got a penalty there. That’s Stuani’s last touch, with Downing replacing him.
59 min An excellent near-post cross from Nsue towards Stuani is superbly headed away by Dawson. There are plenty of players on the pitch who are more than good enough for the Premier League - and here comes another, Stewart Downing.
57 min Hull have quietly taken control of this game. Aluko turns smartly on the right wing and tries an audacious left-footed curler that is tipped over by the leaping Konstantopoulos. It was a fairly comfortable save but a fine effort.
53 min Clayton takes a booking for Team Middlesbrough, hacking Aluko down to stop a dangerous Hull break.
50 min Diame wriggles past three defenders on the left of the box and hits a cross that is deflected into the loving embrace of Konstantopoulos. Hull have started this half really well.
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48 min “If Brighton get their act together,” says Art Durbano, “these two juggernauts could meet again on the last day of the season, in that 100-million-quid one-off that has seen so many valiant sides (none of whom won the FA Cup) playing for the right to be sent right down to the 2nd-division ignominy whence they came. I’ll say this, though, Aitor Karanka is so impossibly handsome it’s ridiculous. He should have been opera star; he makes the young Placido Domingo look like - well, Steve Bruce.”
47 min An up-and-under cross from Clucas lands on the head of Snodgrass, ten yards out, but Friend puts him under sufficient pressure to make the header very difficult and it drifts away from goal.
46 min Peep peep! The match has resumed in accordance with the laws of the game. A draw would move Boro back up to second.
Half-time chit-chat
“Dimminuendo,” says Tom Found of my question after 40 minutes. “GCSE MUSIC.”
I was too busy behind the bike sheds, crying.
Half time: Middlesbrough 0-0 Hull City
See you in 10 minutes for the second half!
45+2 min Leadbitter is booked for kicking the ball away.
45 min Snodgrass moseys over to the left wing before playing a neat and possibly fortuitous cutback on the turn to find the onrushing Livermore in the D. His precise first-time shot is well blocked by Gibson.
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44 min Both teams have been a bit jittery in possession. This is a textbook example of a match between two good teams in bad form.
40 min This game started well. What’s the opposite of a crescendo?
39 min Konstantopoulos gets caught in two minds and needlessly pats an overhit Snodgrass free-kick behind for a corner. It doesn’t matter, because the corner is also overhit.
36 min Diame, already booked, is beaten to a 51-49 ball by Kalas and trips him in the process. Some referees would have sent him off for that; Andre Marriner didn’t, and I think it was the right decision. Diame won’t be able to make another tackle all match, mind you.
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34 min Snodgrass misses the best chance of the match! Livermore and Diame moved the ball classily to Clucas down the left. He clipped a lovely cross along the six-yard box which eluded Aluko before reaching the unmarked Snodgrass beyond the far post. He took the shot first time with his right foot but whacked it into the side netting at the near post. It might have hit the outside of the post as well.
33 min “But to miss you have to have been getting in the right positions and strikers miss more then they score,” says Nicola Carter. “We need a win and Abel is a big-game player; Aluko isn’t.”
32 min Diame is booked for a foul on Kalas.
31 min Nsue shows an admirable appreciation symmetry by mishitting another cross out of play, this time on the other side of the pitch. McGregor takes an age over the goalkick, and is booed by the home fans for it.
30 min “Why drop our top scorer in our biggest game of the season?” says Nicola Carter. “Clueless.” Hernandez has been missing a few chances lately hasn’t he?
27 min Rhodes’s snapshot on the turn from the edge of the area is well blocked. Bill Leslie, the Sky commentator, tells us that these are the most parsimonious defences in all four divisions. Oh.
26 min Snodgrass’s corner is headed across the box towards Davies, who can’t control the ball as it kicks up awkwardly and loops a gentle header into the hands of Konstantopoulos.
24 min Stuani finds the right-back Nsue, who twists Robertson’s blood with a lovely feint - and then screws a miserable cross straight out of play.
23 min I’d like to tell you this is turning into a cracking game, but I don’t want to lie to you.
21 min Rhodes runs some sour metres to win a corner off Robertson. See 15 minutes.
20 min There’s an important duel developing between Ramirez and Huddlestone. It’s rare to see two playmakers who are directly up against each other.
17 min Stuani flicks a header wide from six yards after Rhodes helps the ball across the box. He might have done better there.
15 min Now Hull have a corner. Nothing happens. I don’t know why I bother sometimes.
13 min Ramirez’s 30-yard free-kick hits a Hull noggin and goes behind for the first corner of the match. It’s curled to the near post, where Stuani’s clever stooping header across goal is kicked off the line by Robertson. It might have been going wide of the far post but Robertson didn’t wait to find it.
11 min A beautiful, lazy pass from Huddlestone to Robertson on the left wing sparks an attack that ends with Snodgrass shooting wide from 25 yards.
9 min The pattern of the game is clear, with Boro playing like the, er, home side and Hull content to play on the break. It’s been a decent start, albeit without chances.
7 min “A good idea, eh?” says Art Durbano, which is always an ominous start to an email. “New Rule: Every team in England’s top four divisions that qualifies for Europe in a given season is also guaranteed a place in the Premier League for that season. Had Reading won the FA Cup this year, they’re in the top tier next term. Had Burnley beaten Liverpool for the Milk Cup, “Right this way, Claret-men, the head table awaits.” If Villa get into the UEFA Cup next season on Fair Play, they stay up. And everyone else in the playoff/promotion carousel just moves up or down a horse. Three Championship sides still come up; three Premiership behemoths still go down. Just not necessarily the Top Three of D2 or the bottom three of the Prem. See the beauty? Now NOBODY can take the Cups for granted (lookin’ at you, Geordies); they’re the fast track to (at least a year of) The Really Big $$$$$$$.”
Don’t take this the wrong way, but no.
5 min Diame shapes a nice long-range curler towards goal, but it’s too straight and Konstantopoulous pats it down easily.
4 min A promising attack from Boro. Ramirez slips away from Dawson, who commits himself 35 yards from goal, and then plays an angled pass to Rhodes on the edge of the box. His first touch is imperfect – although it wasn’t the easiest ball to control – and Clucas tracks back to clear the danger.
3 min There’s a cracking atmosphere at the Riverside. Middlesbrough have had plenty of the ball in the first few minutes, though Hull look busy on the break.
1 min Hull kick off from right to left. Boro are in red.
Rather bizarrely, a message from Karanka read out & shown on the big screen before the players emerge for kick-off pic.twitter.com/iWdOjqdqwf
— Simon Peach (@SimonPeach) March 18, 2016
Anyone out there? Hello? Helloooooooooooooooooooooo?
Fear not, there are plenty more ancient, middle-age-betraying pop-culture references where that came from.
Team news (or: Jordan Rhodes starts! Abel Hernandez doesn't!)
Middlesbrough (4-2-3-1) Konstantopoulos; Nsue, Kalas, Gibson, Friend; Leadbitter, Clayton; Stuani, Ramirez, Adomah; Rhodes.
Substitutes: Agazzi, De Laet, De Sart, Downing, Fry, Forshaw, Nugent.
Hull City (4-3-3) McGregor; Odubajo, Dawson, Davies, Robertson; Livermore, Diame, Huddlestone; Snodgrass, Aluko, Clucas.
Substitutes: Jakupović, Bruce, Hernández, Maguire, Akpom, Diomande, Elmohamady.
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Preamble
Good evening and welcome to the latest episode of The Improbable Struggles of Middlesbrough Football Club. A couple of months ago they were cruising into the Premier League; now, not so much. They have taken only 12 points from the last 11 games, and nobody knows quite what is going on with their manager Aitor Karanka.
In football, we often say that so-and-so “returns tonight” - especially for evening games - but it’s usually in reference to a player. It’s not often you say it about the manager. Karanka missed last weekend’s defeat at Charlton, reportedly the result of the dressing-room losing the manager rather than the other way round, but he’s back now.
Hull have lost a bit of form too, so both sides would regard a win tonight as more than three points: it would arrest their slump, hurt one of their main rivals - and put them back in an automatic promotion position ahead of Brighton. Not quite a six-pointer, because there are more than two teams involved, but it’s at least a 4.25-pointer. At least.
Kick off is at 7.45pm.
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Rob will be here shortly. Whilst you wait, have a read of what Aitor Karanka had to say after he had been linked with an exit from Middlesbrough.
The club and me had everything clear. I want to make it clear that the club never thought to sack me and I never wanted to leave. The best thing is I was supporting and helping from my house because we are a team even in the worst moments. I heard a lot of stupid things that I was laughing at at home. To hear that I have problems with players in this changing room when they have given me every single thing … if I am in the position I am in now and the team is now, it’s thanks to them.”
Read the full article here:
