I now very much suggest you join Nick Ames for every last bit of action from the 3pm kick-offs up and down the land.
Also, read the thing that I wrote, about the night Wolves were ‘crowned champions of the world’, although they weren’t really.
Other than that, you’re welcome to spend your Saturday afternoon how you like.
Well that was hugely, hugely impressive from Boro, beating the best side in the division in absolutely every possible facet of the game. They didn’t allow Derby to create a thing, and it was only the efforts of Grant in nets that kept it down to 2-0. Bamford is named man of the match, but Grant Leadbitter and Adam Clayton at the heart of midfield were both absolutely terrific.
Full-time: Middlesbrough 2-0 Derby
And it could’ve been many more. Boro, for the moment at least, are top of the league.
90 mins + 2: Kiké is denied what would have been an outrageous goal by the referee’s whistle. He brought down a long pass with a Bergkampian touch then slotted the thing home, but either due to the lino’s flag or a foul on Keogh, it was disallowed..
90 mins: We’ll be having four minutes of added time.
89 mins: There’s a look on Martin’s face that seems to say ‘What are we supposed to do?’ after another decision goes against him, but his team have been thoroughly out-fought and out-played today. A minor blip it may well turn out to be, but they’ve been monstered this afternoon.
87 mins: Chance for Derby, and it should be 2-1. Martin finally shows why he’s such a good striker by holding the ball up well in the Boro area, then backheels to Hughes whose shot is beaten away by Konstantopoulos, then Best is sluggish in reacting to the rebound and the ball is eventually cleared.
86 mins: Blimey, Boro really have been relentless today. For the second time in a few minutes, Kiké charges down a Grant clearance, and for the second time in a few minutes the Derby keeper is lucky that nothing more harmful came of it.
85 mins: Wildschut nearly announces his arrival by running directly through - as opposed to around - three or four defenders and battering the thing towards goal, but the big man is halted before he can provide any serious threat.
82 mins: Leadbitter is bawling at his teammates like they’re hanging onto a vital away point at against a tricky opponent, rather than beating ten-men 2-0 with eight minutes left. He’s also just been booked for preventing Derby from taking a free-kick quickly.
81 mins: Nearly a third for Boro, but this time Grant was off his line quick-smart before Kiké can nip in to grab a ball over the top of the Derby defence.
79 mins: Olé! Showboating from Nsue on the right, displaying a needless but entertaining selection of Cristiano Ronaldo circa 2003 lollipops out on the right. Lovely to see.
78 mins: Yanic Wildschut is on for Boro, replacing Vossen, who also looked like he was cramping up. Lots of running from the Boro boys this afternoon.
77 mins: Best is perhaps again lucky to escape much censure after a stray arm catches Ayala. Probably wasn’t intentional, mind.
75 mins: Derby cause a bit of trouble with an inswinging corner that a largely redundant thus far Konstantopoulos paws away. As Boro counter through Reach, Forsyth goes into the book for taking the home winger out.
74 mins: And that’s all from Bamford, who either has a calf strain or cramp. He’s replaced by Kike.
73 mins: So close again for Boro. Adomah does well to whip the ball away from a deeply dozy Christie, powers down the left and fires in a cross to the near post. Bamford is there at the near post, gets to it ahead of Bryson but his shot is beaten away by some quick reactions from Grant.
71 mins: Bryson goes in late and high on Bamford, raking his studs down the striker’s shins, then has the temerity to complain and shake his head after yellow is flashed his way.
70 mins: Boro’s performance is summed up as Ibe tries to make tracks down the left, beats one man but suddenly fully four defenders are around him and he is relieved of the ball by the swarming crowd.
68 mins: Best is perhaps a little lucky not to get a booking after lifting his boot to where Adomah’s head was residing. Free-kick, but nothing more.
66 mins: This might get ugly for Derby. All three subs used of course, so McClaren will have to improvise to keep the score down. Bamford goes close again, firing a low shot at goal which Grant does well to dive and get a strong left hand to.
64 mins: That is probably that. Leadbitter bags the goal by smacking the spot kick home with the power of Thor’s almighty hammer, belting the thing into the corner and it very nearly took Grant’s hand with it.
GOAL! Middlesbrough 2-0 Derby (Leadbitter 64)
Woof.
PENALTY FOR DERBY, RED CARD FOR SHOTTON
Vossen slips it through the Derby defence, Bamford pulls his foot back to shoot around eight yards out, but Shotton whips it away from him and he goes to the turf. Looked a fair call, and that could be curtains for Derby.
61 mins: Cards on the table from McClaren - he makes his third and final change, bringing Will Hughes on for Hendrick.
60 mins: I think Bryson just tried a shot, but it was so bad it might have been a cross or a pass. Either way, it didn’t go well for them.
59 mins: Quite how Boro haven’t scored another is baffling. Leadbitter whips over a free-kick from deep on the left and the Derby defence rather obligingly give Ayala all the room he could want around eight yards out, but he misses the header and Grant shovels it away. It goes as far as Clayton on the edge of the box, but his low shot skips just wide of the post.
58 mins: Yeesh, Boro are hammering on the door with massive comedy, Kenny Everett-style hands here. Friend lashes a brutal low cross into the box, and Grant does well to paw it away and it eludes every attacker in the area.
56 mins: Ah, Boro should be two ahead there. Vossen brings the ball into the area and tries a shot, but Reach was in acres and acres to his left, advancing into the area. The ball ricochets to Adomah, whose shot is blocked out to Bamford on the right side of the box, but his shot is straight at Grant.
54 mins: Eek, almost a slapstick second for Boro. Reach gets down the left, powers in a low cross and Shotton clears directly at the striker’s shins. That could’ve gone anywhere, but luckily for the visitors it went wide.
53 mins: Hendrick goes into the book for what Danny Dyer might call a ‘nawty’ late challenge on Ayala.
52 mins: Bit more aggro involving Bamford, whose propensity for getting in some trouble belies his One Direction looks. He leaves his foot in a little late on Lee Grant, but in truth he had every right to go for the ball. The slide may have been a little needles mind, hence the push from Grant.
50 mins: Konstantopoulos is, in case you care, a ringer for Guardian football editor Marcus Christenson. He’s not in the office today, actually...
49 mins: Wee bit of indecision in the Boro defence, as Ayala and Konstantopoulos leave a long punt downfield for each other, with Best very nearly nipping in and stealing the ball. They just about get away with it, though.
48 mins: Quiet start to the half. Derby don’t seem to be panicking just yet, but one wonders if they will have some problems on the counter with this new formation, which sees Russell playing on the right of midfield.
46 mins: We’re away. Will Derby’s changes have any impact? Well, obviously I don’t know yet. We’ll have to wait to find out. Have some patience, dammit.
The teams are coming out, and there are a couple of subs coming for Derby - Simon Dawkins and Omar Mascarell are withdrawn, with Leon Best and Jordan Ibe replacing them. They were also sent out bloody early, presumably with a flea in their ear from Mr McClaren. Bit more striking prowess and pace into the side with those moves.
Japes ahoy at Cowdenbeath, where they are seemingly trying to thaw out a frozen pitch by parking a van in the goalmouth and setting the engine running. The results look...mixed.
Heat from van engine attempt to defrost goalmouth at Central Park this am. Every effort made :-))) pic.twitter.com/z63eLFZMSo
— Craig Levein (@CraigWLevein) December 13, 2014
A spot of half-time reading for you, written by, erm, well, me. It’s about the night Wolves were crowned ‘champions of the world’, by beating the Honved side of Puskas, Koscis etc in a pre-European Cup friendly, 60 years ago today. Features a cameo from a young Ron Atkinson, and if that doesn’t get you reading...
Despite the attention the game initially looked like being something of a non-event. Honved sashayed into a 2-0 lead by the 14th minute, a Puskas free-kick teeing up Kocsis to head in the first, the goalscorer then setting Ferenc Machos through to double the advantage. At that point it looked as if the extent of Wolves’ ambitions was to keep the score down, with the goalkeeper, Bert Williams, pulling off a number of fine saves (saves that would serve as inspiration to a 16-year-old Gordon Banks). However, after the early blitz Wolves edged their way back into the game, only to be frustrated by the Hungarians. “Wolverhampton gradually took command of the midfield play, but they could not find a clear path to goal,” reported the Guardian. “Still nothing went right for Wolverhampton in front of goal,” a point emphasised by a golden chance just before the break, as full-back Les Smith sliced an easy opportunity wide, leaving Honved still up at half-time. The teams came out for the second half “five minutes late”, noted a watch-tapping Guardian, although there was enough time for a rather quaint show of appreciation from the home crowd for Honved’s keeper Lajos Farago, who was given “a special cheer as he ran up to take his position, recognising his fine work in keeping Wolverhampton out in the exciting first half”.
From that point, though, the conditions began to take their toll, at least in part thanks to some slightly underhand tactics on the part of the hosts. In order to combat the brilliant Honved forward line Cullis wanted the Molineux pitch to be “nice and heavy”, so he dispatched some of his staff to water turf already sodden from four days of persistent rain. Those who trudged out, armed with watering cans, included Ron Atkinson, a Wolves apprentice at the time. “Honved came out to play in their short shorts and T-shirts with lightweight boots,” Atkinson said, years later. “They were 2-0 up in no time, playing delightful football. Wolves with their billowy shirts, long shorts and big heavy boots seemed so ponderous in comparison. Yet Honved slowly but surely began to get bogged down in the increasing mud and Wolves with their characteristic long-ball style gradually began to grind down the Hungarians ... There is no doubt in my mind that, had Cullis not ordered me and my mates to water the pitch, Honved would have won by about 10-0.” The Daily Mail described the pitch as “like a cattle ground at the end of a four-day show in the rain.”
Updated
Half-time: Middlesbrough 1-0 Derby
And that’s the break. Boro have been, quite obviously, much the better side, shutting down everything that Derby have tried to create, keeping key men like Bryson and Martin quiet. Wonder whether McClaren will bring on Will Hughes at the break to try and find some holes in this Boro defence. Frankly though, Derby can’t be a great deal worse, so perhaps he’ll leave it.
45 mins + 2: Now the crowd actually do have something to boo Shotton for, after he pushes Bamford after the striker prevents him from taking a quick free-kick. The referee has a word with both men and everyone is friends again.
45 mins + 1: A rare chance for Derby from a rare mistake in the Boro defence. Hendrick finds himself in some space just inside the area, but his side-footed shot was weak and Konstantopolous saves.
45 mins: Close (ish) from Boro, after Leadbitter smartly wins the ball in the area and shifts it back to Nsue, whose shot takes a big deflection but is kept in play by Grant before it spins out.
44 mins: Must be serious for Derby - McClaren has abandoned his post in the stands and phone and has descended to the touchline.
42 mins: Grant almost puts his defence in some bother after punching a looping header rather unconvincingly, when he could quite easily have caught the thing. Luckily for him, the subsequent cross is headed wide by Bamford.
40 mins: Derby again try to penetrate the Boro backline, but they’re so tightly-packed that nothing is getting through there. Impressive stuff from Boro this, so far.
39 mins: Booing update: seems to be limited to a few persistent cretins now.
37 mins: Oh that’s excellent work from another massively underrated player, Craig Bryson, as he wriggles free on the left corner of the Boro box and shifts the ball across the edge of the box. It reaches Russell via Dawkins, but he doesn’t get anything like enough behind the shot, and it rather dribbles wide.
36 mins: Derby have been frustrating so far, and their efforts are summed up as Russell feeds Christie powering down the right, but he merely hoys his ‘cross’ high into the delighted crowd.
34 mins: Vossen does well to win the ball the create some space about 30 yards from goal before squaring to Reach, but his effort a) was both high and wide and b) should probably have been a pass, with George Friend making tracks on the overlap.
32 mins: Oh, the Boro crowd have graduated from booing to shouting ‘WANKER! WANKER!’ at Shotton. Cease this gittery.
31 mins: Adomah does well to dispossess a dozing Forsyth on the Boro right, but the Derby full-back just manages to get back in time to sufficiently put Adomah off as he tries to put in a cross.
28 mins: Ouch. Ayala goes into the book for a deeply ugly challenge on Russell; we’re talking a late, sliding, scissor job, and the Derby forward could have been seriously hurt by that one. Luckily he isn’t. Meanwhile, the Boro crowd continue to boo Shotton for being hit on the head. Stop that, you buffoons.
27 mins: WHAT. A. SAVE. Two of them, in fact from Grant. Leadbitter slides the ball through for Bamford on the left of the box. His effort is straight at the Derby keeper but it comes out straight to Vossen on the edge of the box, he shoots with some right-footed power but Grant gets back up and flings himself to his left and palms it away. Smashing work from a very underrated keeper.
26 mins: Johnny Russell, with his hair only slightly more ridiculous than his sleeve tattoos, dances into the area from the right, but there’s nobody really there to take advantage of his low cross, but he does reasonably well to win a corner. Nothing comes of that set-piece, though.
24 mins: Boro goal machine Grant Leadbitter swings over a corner, Shotton and Ayala clash heads, the Derby man goes down and the referee very rightly stops play, only for the home crowd to brainlessly boo him. Nice work there.
22 mins: Bamford seems to be limping, perhaps as a result of that earlier challenge from Keogh. Or maybe an iffy landing when going up for a header.
21 mins: Martin goes over somewhere near Adam Clayton, in the battle of the musician namesakes. The Derby striker/Coldplay singer was bloody lucky to get away with no booking for a fairly blatant dive, there.
20 mins: Derby have looked fairly disjointed so far, but that’s at least in part due to some fearsome pressing by Boro, who are allowing them to have the ball in defence, but beyond the halfway line they’re on them like Russell Brand on a microphone.
19 mins: A very robust bout of swearing is picked up by the pitchside effects mic. Always enjoyable when that happens.
17 mins: Richard Keogh, who looks like a character in a Shane Meadows film, is outraged after being penalised for wiping out Bamford. He did get the ball, but also sent the on-loan striker spinning through the air, so it’s difficult to really argue with that one. He has a good go, mind.
15 mins: Karanka is serving a touchline suspension, and has been on the blower to the bench. Bit of an issue on the Boro coaching staff at present, as assistant Craig Hignett left the club last week after a falling out with Karanka. A debate about that cereal cafe that got out of hand, no doubt.
14 mins: Simon Dawkins tries to make inroads down the right side of the Boro box, but has no joy. Chris Martin is then penalised for handball following a throw, but spends a considerable amount of time showing any official that cares to listen the mark on his left pec where he claims the ball legally struck him. Of course, his protestations are in vain.
11 mins: Adomah gets down the right for Boro and fires in a low cross. It’s half-cleared, and there are some half-hearted half-claims for handball after it strikes somewhere on Mascarell’s person. It is fully not given, though.
9 mins: Derby nearly get back into it straightaway as Omar Mascarell, the midfielder slightly implausibly on loan from Real Madrid, whips a corner from the left to the near post, where Ryan Shotton gets there just ahead of Daniel Ayala and heads a yard or so wide.
6 mins: Troublingly simple goal for Derby to concede there. Boro work the ball nicely out to Adam Reach on the left side of the area, the Academy graduate is allowed to reach the byline relatively unmolested and cut it back to Bamford, who has just a yard of space too much on the corner of the six-yard box, and he sweeps a handsome finish into the bottom corner. Lee Grant got a hand to it but couldn’t keep it out, but he perhaps should have.
Updated
GOAL! Middlesbrough 1-0 Derby (Bamford 6)
Well, that was inevitable.
4 mins: Looks like there are some slightly icy patches in the shaded sections of the pitch. Could be some salty moments coming up there in the game. Still nowt much has ‘appened.
2 mins: Is it director’s box or directors’ box or directors box? Important grammar point, and I’m crowd-sourcing the answer. As you’ll have worked out, not much of not, aside from some crisp passing from Derby, has happened yet.
1 min: We’re away. Boro have kicked off, with about a third of one half in woozy Teeside sunlight. McClaren and Steve Gibson hug like old friends in the director’s box, probably because that’s exactly what they are.
The teams are out, and as is traditional at Boro, we are treated to the sweet, sweet strains of ‘Reach Up (Papa’s Got A Brand New Pig Bag)‘ by Perfecto Allstarz.
If you believe in such things, it perhaps seems inevitable that Patrick Bamford, so crucial in Derby’s nearly-successful last season, will score now he plays for Boro.
Here’s an interview with the young man by Stuart James from last May, just before the playoff final:
It was a few weeks before that when Bamford learned that Mourinho was following his progress on loan at Derby much closer than he could have imagined, albeit it through an unlikely source. “Niall from One Direction is a big Derby fan, he came down to the club and I was talking to him,” Bamford says.
“Niall said: ‘Mourinho knows all about you, he texts me all the time.’ I said: ‘No he doesn’t.’ He showed me his phone, and because he was doing his treatment at Chelsea, for his knee injury, he knew all the Chelsea boys and Mourinho. And he had texts from Mourinho whenever I scored, saying ‘Bamford again!’ That made me smile. That was the first time I knew that Mourinho knew about me.”
Without wishing to hark back to the days gone by, you’ll no doubt be aware that Derby used to be pretty good. Really good, in fact. So good, that they won the league in 1972 and 1975.
The first, under Brian Clough, was achieved in dramatic circumstances, Derby going into their final game, against second-place Liverpool, in third but only a point back from leaders Manchester City. It seems weird these days, but at that point City had completed their fixtures, and both Liverpool and Leeds had two to go. Thus, even though Derby won that game 1-0 (with a goal through John McGovern) and went top of the table, they had to sweat and wait for Leeds and Liverpool’s final games, which were a week later against Wolves and Arsenal respectively. Liverpool drew 0-0 and Leeds were beaten 2-1, and Derby, with their players on holiday in Majorca and Clough in the Scilly Isles, were champions.
Clough told the Guardian:
It is incredible. I don not believe in miracles, but was has occurred tonight. I believe they played four-and-a-half minutes of injury time at Molineux - it seemed like four-and-a-half years to me. There is nothing I can say to sum up my feelings adequately, although I supposed we could have won the cup as well.
For a team and a town like Derby to win the title is a credit to all concerned. This has given me far more pleasure than I can adequately express. It makes you appreciate what a job you and your players have done. And my players have given blood this season. In fact no team has given more. Even so, although they are now on holiday in Majorca I want them to remember they are still Derby County players and to behave accordingly.
The second came after Clough’s departure, under Dave Mackay, and you can read about that one in Rob Smyth’s quite splendid ‘Forgotten story...’ from a few years ago.
You don’t need the man from the Grauniad to tell you that mistakes are a huge part of life. All walks: the official book of The Sopranos, for example, has a section devoted to malapropisms. Everyone has their favourite misheard lyric. And then there’s football, in which people frequently pass off an erroneous perception or opinion as fact.
Take Derby’s two league championships in the 1970s. Some people think that both were won under the managership of Brian Clough. In a sense this is understandable: such is Clough’s legend that the temptation to presume that he is responsible for everything good about Derby – from those two titles to Derby’s oldest pub, the 478-year-old Ye Olde Dolphin Inne, to the railway service that allows you to escape the place – is considerable. But that is not the case, and the second title, claimed in 1974-75, three years after Clough’s, was won by a thoroughly different but almost equally remarkable man: Dave Mackay.
Or was it? Some feel that Mackay’s title was basically Clough’s title; that Clough had left such a good team that all Mackay had to do was write 11 names on a teamsheet. While Derby did have outstanding players, this is such an insulting and simplistic argument that it barely deserves the time of day. Right up to the last couple of years at Stamford Bridge, the history of football is pockmarked with cautionary tales about the enormous difficulties of walking into a dressing-room that had previously been run by a successful, legendary figure. As Clough himself found out.
Nice when good things happen to fundamentally good people, isn’t it? That’s why Steve McClaren’s journey from punchline to European title-winner to laughing stock to respected coach again has been such a rollercoaster. McClaren seems to be the ultimate ‘right place, right time’ manager, with certainly his failure at Nottingham Forest not entirely his fault, but when he is in the right surroundings he seems to get things absolutely bob on.
Derby have been the best team in the Championship for about a year, and if the concept of success being ‘deserved’ in football is real, then they, rather than QPR, most certainly deserved to go up last season, and not just because of the Rs’ supremely flukey win in the playoff final. As things stands it doesn’t look like McClaren’s boys will require such a nerve-shredder this term, the spectre of Bobby Zamora lumbering into view to snatch a merited promotion from under their noses being neatly cast aside by some absolutely superb form which sees them atop the division.
Things seem to be clicking for Aitor Karanka at Boro too. After a tricky and infuriating first season in charge, things have started to slot into place at the Riverside, a record of just one defeat in the last 15 seeing them fourth and just two points below Derby. So, as the maths whizzes among you will have no doubt figured out with your fancy abacuses and digital adding machine and computer contraptions, a win will take Boro above the Rams and to the summit of the table. At least until the rest of the teams in the Champo play later on, obviously.
All of which suggests a belter, a rip-snorter, a slug-out of quite splendid proportions this lunchtime. And the two sides had better not disappoint. Or else.
Kick-off: 12.15pm
The teams
Middlesbrough
Konstantopoulos; Nsue, Gibson, Ayala, Friend; Reach, Clayton, Leadbitter, Adomah; Vossen, Bamford. Subs: Mejias, Husband, Whitehead, Kike, Omeruo, Veljkovic, Wildschut.
Derby
Grant; Christie, Keogh, Shotton, Forsyth; Mascarell, Hendrick, Bryson; Russell, Dawkins, Martin. Subs: Roos, Buxton, Coutts, Hughes, Ibe, Calero, Best
Nick will be here shortly.
