It's the cruelest way to lose a football match - especially when the stakes are high.
After a day of high drama at Wembley, Sunderland lost 5-4 on penalties to Portsmouth in the Checkatrade Trophy Final.
Only one penalty was missed of the 10, and that by the Black Cats' Lee Cattermole .
It's incredibly hard on one of the players who has given more to the club than most down the years, and his team-mates were quick to rally around the midfielder.
But Cattermole also received words of support from someone who has been in his boots as a Sunderland player - Michael Gray.
The former Black Cats left-back famously missed the crucial spot-kick in the 1998 play-off final against Charlton - also at Wembley - and had to live with the burden.
Of course Gray went on to have a great career with Sunderland in the top flight, even going on to win an England call up.
But he took time on Sunday afternoon to send a message to Cattermole.
He tweeted: "Gutted for Lee. But any player who has the courage to step forward and take a penalty deserves credit. Keep your head up mate."
Sunderland boss Jack Ross admitted Cattermole, and his whole squad were 'hurting' but said his midfielder was OK.
Ross said: "He's OK. The whole group is sore and in pain. You don't have the career he has had without taking pride in what you do, so he is hurting."
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