Damian Murtagh says an operation to relieve him of pain and give him back his dignity, has ruined his life.
At 44, the Co Down man is living with the mental stress and physical horrors of mesh surgery that has gone wrong.
Now he is urging the medical world to stop using mesh surgery on hernias.
Damien from Warrenpoint, said: “I had a pelvic hernia and it was getting so bad that I was no long able to cycle because it was very obvious and looked terrible. It wasn’t painful at that stage but it was awkward.
“I was frightened of surgery and I suppose I left it later than some people but when I went to see the surgeon he explained it could all be fixed with a simple mesh insertion which would close over the spot there the hernia was and keep everything in place.
“I’d no knowledge about anything medical and I trusted that my situation would be solved and took a deep breath and went in for the operation.
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“Initially it was great, the hernia was gone, I was starting to heal and I was getting my life back. Working in flooring, I needed to be fit and healthy and I got back to work quite quickly.”
But Damian’s hopes of a hernia-free life were exchanged for devastation when he realised the surgery had actually added to his problems.
And today instead of living a fulfilled, happy and busy life, Damian says he is a shadow of his former self.
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He explained: “The mesh has hardened and instead of helping keep a hernia in place, parts of my insides have grown around and through the mesh leaving nerves damaged and exposed. The pain I’m in indescribable. I cannot concentrate, I cannot work a full day, I cannot even have a full relationship - my life is in pieces and there is really nothing anyone can do without trying to go in and take out the mesh.
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“But I’ve been advised it would be like trying to take hair out of a clump of chewing gum without breaking the hair or damaging the gum.
“There is no way I’d have had the surgery if I’d thought there was risk of this happening. I’ve joined support groups on social media to try to cope with the situation and while most of the people suffering are women who’ve had vaginal mesh, a lot of sufferers are men.
“The problem is that people are embarrassed to talk about the issue but as patients, so many of us have been left in agony, with no hope of that changing and many people suffering from repeated infections, skin problems, auto-immune problems, emotional distress and depression as a result of the whole problem.
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“Yet there are surgeons who are still opting to use the mesh in surgery with the promise of a quick cure for the problem - although for people like me, it created an even bigger issue that is not easily remedied.
“I would be very fearful of having more surgery and worried that things could get even worse although to be honest I think I’m at a limit to the amount of pain I can carry on taking.
“I’m only 44 years old. I look like an old man. I feel like a wreck. I try to be cheerful and get on with my life but I’m a mess.
“This entire situation has ruined my life. I would like to have settled down and found someone to marry and maybe have a couple of children and teach them to fish. But that’s just a pipe dream to me now because I cannot function properly physically or emotionally and my energy levels are terrible. I feel like an old man. I look like an old man. I don't think anyone would believe I'm only 44 but I put a lot of that down to the pain and stress.
“Sleep is a real problem too because there is not position I can get myself into that eases the pain.
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“The scandal of the use of mesh is that it is still being used and more and more people are risking turning their lives to hell the way mine has. This has to stop.
“I would urge anyone, any man and any woman, to think very seriously about accepting mesh surgery as the only way to deal with their issue.
“It might work but there is just no guarantee and if the risk if living the way I have to live, then I can tell you it’s just not worth it.”
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