Karen Seaton and her partner Rich were beginning to lose all hope of having their own kids.
At 43, Karen had three sons from another relationship and Rich adored them. But the pair felt they had room for one more in their brood.
However, after falling pregnant twice and miscarrying both times, Karen’s mental health was suffering.
“It was horrendous. I lost both pregnancies fairly late and Rich and I were struggling,” Karen, now 48, told The Mirror.
The miscarriages brought back painful memories for Karen, who had already suffered the loss of two daughters when she was in her 20s and with her first husband.
Mari, her first daughter, suffered complications in the womb and didn’t survive childbirth. A few years later Georgia came along, but she tragically died at four and a half months old.
Just 24 at the time, Karen was devastated to learn she and her husband couldn’t conceive successfully after post-mortems revealed both girls had a genetic heart condition. Both desperate for a family, the couple amicably parted ways.
“We’re still friends today. We went through so much together and will always have that bond,” Karen says.
In time, she remarried and had three sons; George, Harry and Archie. After Archie was born, Karen’s 11 year marriage broke down and she became a single mum, with the boys visiting their dad on weekends.
“It was absolute chaos in my household,” she joked. “I was barely ever in the house for all the running around I did!”
Then, seven years ago, she connected with an old family friend, Rich.
“I’d known Rich since we were kids but we’d lost touch. After his marriage ended we got back in touch and ended up in a relationship,” she explained.
“I thought I was done with kids - in fact, they weren’t even on my radar, but Rich didn’t have any children of his own.
“I decided: ‘Let’s try and see what happens’.”
To Karen’s surprise, she fell pregnant in her 40s. But things weren’t to be, and the pair were heartbroken to discover she’d miscarried. After picking themselves up to try again, they were dealt another blow with a second miscarriage.
“I put it down to my age, but we were really low,” she described. “It was starting to affect our relationship.
“By now I was 43 and losing hope. I decided to set myself a deadline for my 44th birthday. If I wasn’t pregnant by then, it wasn’t going to happen for us.”
After the final month of trying, Karen bought a pregnancy test. When it came back positive, she was stunned.
But instead of worrying about another miscarriage, a wave of calm washed over her.
“I just had this gut feeling everything would work out this time,” she told The Mirror.
But despite feeling cool about the pregnancy, Karen was less laid back about telling the boys her news.
“I didn’t know how they’d react. We put some scan photos into envelopes for them to open and waited for their reaction.”
Luckily, the boys were thrilled at the idea of having a little sister.
After a visit to her GP, Karen was prescribed hormone medication to help the pregnancy go as smoothly as possible, as she’d had her thyroid removed a few years earlier.
In time, miracle baby Mia was born and Karen’s brood was complete. After a one month stay in hospital for a respiratory condition, Mia recovered fully and thrived with three big brothers to dote on her.
“I was a different mum the second time around. I was so much more chilled out,” she said, citing breastfeeding as an example.
“Mia was being fed through a tube for the first month of her life so once she was out of hospital, it made more sense to bottle feed her.
“I breastfed all the boys and I know I’d have been upset if I couldn’t do that. But with Mia, I was older and more experienced, so I knew she had to be fed and that was the most important thing.”
In between juggling kids and work with handling menopause symptoms, Karen also finds time to run an Instagram page, @tryingmybestoldermumma and write a blog.
Karen told The Mirror: “I started the Instagram page because I realised there weren’t many voices of older mums out there.
“Since starting it up, I’ve had so many older mums reach out to thank me for being open with my story.”
One issue Karen touches on through her Instagram page is raising a toddler while going through menopause, which started when she was 47 and Mia was two.
“I can’t tell if my exhaustion is normal from raising a child or if menopause is a factor,” she said. “I’m lucky in that I’ve not had mood swings, but I get hot flushes and night sweats.
“I also have brain fog sometimes so I have to make to-do lists every day!”
Mia is now three years old and is doing well.
“She’s such a good child. She sleeps through the night and she’s so happy all the time,” Karen gushed.
Big brothers George, Harry and Archie are now 20, 18 and 15, and they’re incredibly protective of their baby sister.
“They absolutely adore her,” Karen said, adding that their dad even buys gifts for Mia at Christmas.
There have been times when Karen has worried about her age, but she brushes off any doubts.
“I am very aware that I’m the oldest mum on the school run and sometimes I worry that Mia might get teased for having an older mum. I also wish my energy levels were a bit higher to run around after her.
“But Mia is a blessing and I’m so lucky to have her. I feel like I’ve got my happy ending.”
