The final analysis
Well, it was a spirited showing from the Dees today to banish one of their long-running hoodoos and a nine-year drought on Queen’s birthday. Max Gawn is awarded the Neale Daniher trophy as the best on ground and it was a superb performance from the ruckman. “We had 23 players today with Neale,” says Gawn. “Hopefully everyone here has had a good day,” he adds before giving the former coach a big hug. Great stuff.
Gawn had 27 possessions, 6 marks, 31 hit-outs and 3 goals to monster a succession of opponents. He was ably assisted by Jesse Hogan, who also kicked three majors and took a stack of contested marks when it mattered. Bernie Vince had 42 possessions, Nathan Jones 31 (plus a goal), while Jack Viney, Dom Tyson and Dean Kent (3 goals from 23 touches) were all superb.
By comparison, Collingwood just had far too many passengers to finish with a whopping 125 fewer disposals, and bar a bright 20-minute patch to finish the first term, they were insipid. Melbourne’s 38-point turnaround in the second term all but finished them off for the rest of the day.
That’s it from me, but thanks for reading and be sure to stop by for more live AFL action throughout the 2016 season.
Game over - Melbourne win it by 46 points!
Melbourne 16.8 (104) defeat Collingwood 8.10 (58)
And that’s it! For the first time since Neale Daniher was coach in 2007, the Demons have overcome Collingwood in this Queen’s birthday clash. Daniher stands by the boundary with a broad smile on his face and so he should. He’s raised in excess of four million dollars for MND research today. What a champion bloke.
Pies goal! 4th quarter (1:31 remaining) Melbourne 16.8 (104) vs Collingwood 8.8 (56)
Mason Cox picks up a consolation goal from the point blank range when Jack Watts infringes on his marking attempt but it’s only a small mercy at this point. Time for Travis Cloke to return full-time? On the strength of today, you wonder how the Pies could do worse than his veteran experience.
Dees goal! 4th quarter (5:26 remaining) Melbourne 16.8 (104) vs Collingwood 7.7 (49)
There’s more good news for Melbourne fans: Neale Daniher’s sensational fundraising efforts for ‘Freeze MND’ have raised north of $2.1 million today and there was an announcement at three-quarter time that the Federal government will match today’s final total dollar for dollar. You can donate right here, if you like.
Today we’ve also received only a partial answer to the pressing question (‘How many ruckmen does it take to beat Max Gawn?’), with three Pies rotating on Melbourne’s dominant big man and still failing to curb his influence. Elsewhere on the ground, even Tom McDonald is having shots at goal now. You know you’re going badly when that’s happening. But he can’t keep Gawn out of the action for long; having never slotted three in a game, the big No11 marks 25 metres from goal and brings the Melbourne faithful to their feet as he slots it through. It’s officially a romp! Gawn is looking like a Brownlow medalist right now.
Dees goal! 4th quarter (13:33 remaining) Melbourne 15.7 (97) vs Collingwood 7.6 (48)
Jack Watts has another six-pointer as the procession continues. It’s officially part time for Melbourne fans. So often they’ve been on the end of these spirit-sapping goal runs but now it’s their turn to enjoy it. “Melbourne, Meeeeelbourne” goes the chant. They’re out of practice I guess. Maybe there’s more creative war cries to come.
Nice couple of moments for @JackWatts4 - he made his memorable debut in the #QBC in 2009... Melbourne hasn't won one since 2007.
— Neroli Meadows (@Neroli_M_FOX) June 13, 2016
Updated
Dees goal! 4th quarter (14:55 remaining) Melbourne 14.7 (91) vs Collingwood 7.6 (48)
Put your glasses down. Ben Kennedy’s nailed one now for the Dees and they’re home and hosed. Devoid of targets and lacking in grunt, Collingwood are being steamrolled by Melbourne.
Dees goal! 4th quarter (15:43 remaining) Melbourne 13.7 (85) vs Collingwood 7.6 (48)
Melbourne goal again! And it was a series of gutsy one-on-one contest wins that worked the ball around the southern side of the ground so that unmarked Jack Watts could slot an open goal from the goal square. That’s 37 points now and more than likely game, set and match.
Dees goal! 4th quarter (16:51 remaining) Melbourne 12.7 (79) vs Collingwood 7.6 (48)
There’s half an opening for Melbourne and Dean Kent dives in head first when the ball’s in dispute and for sheer bravery alone, from what I can tell, he’s granted a free kick 40 metres from goal. He’s missed a few of these ones today but not this time. He nails his third and re-establishes the 31-point buffer for Melbourne.
Pies goal! 4th quarter (19:32 remaining) Melbourne 11.7 (73) vs Collingwood 7.6 (48)
We’re away in the final term and it’s Pies with first use of the ball and the first goal too when Jesse White flips it over the top for Brodie Grundy to run in to an open goal. Hmm, interesting. Melbourne have a job to do here but that’s not the ideal start. Collingwood have a sniff.
Three-quarter time: Melbourne lead by 31 points at the final break
3/4 time: Melbourne 11.7 (73) vs Collingwood 6.6 (42)
And Hogan’s goal proves to be the last of the term. Melbourne outscored the Pies by five points in that term, meaning they maintain a 31-point buffer heading into the last. There was a couple of late chances for Dean Kent but Dees will be very happy with that consolidation job. They’re in the box seat to take this one.
Dees goal! 3rd quarter (4:22 remaining) Melbourne 11.6 (72) vs Collingwood 6.6 (42)
Gawd, this is a real scrap. The second quarter was electric. This one’s been a wet blanket. Finally Jesse Hogan steps forward with a big mark 25 metres from home and there’s no mistake with the conversion for his third goal. The final nail in the Magpies’ coffin? Quite possibly.
No goal but here’s an update anyway! 3rd quarter (5:36 remaining) Melbourne 10.6 (66) vs Collingwood 6.6 (42)
The tempo of this game has altered just a little in the last five minutes as the Pies finally find some spirit and sense half an opening. It doesn’t quite come, mind you, but Collingwood aren’t merely passengers as they were in the preceding 40 minutes. Travis Varcoe has a chance to snap at goal for the Pies but misses to the right and the ball remains a hot potato, with tackling fierce. The Pies build another attack and Crocker gets on the end of it, marking 45 metres from goal and directly in front. But his shot drops ten metres short, almost comically so.
Both sides are running themselves ragged as a result of a sustained period of circle work, punctuated by fan-enraging turnovers and generally shambolic disposals, and Jarryd Blair also misses a set shot he should have nailed from 25 metres out on a 45 degree angle. Jesse Hogan takes a huge pack mark on the wing and slices a pass into the corridor but Melbourne again butcher their forward entry.
Pies goal! 3rd quarter (17:06 remaining) Melbourne 10.6 (66) vs Collingwood 6.4 (40)
Finally the Pies answer and it was pretty slick work from the re-start, with the unlikely Levi Greenwood barrelling forward with a running shot on goal. Having been silenced by 31 minutes of abject, goalless footy, the Pies fans barely muster a cheer.
Dees goal! 3rd quarter (17:24 remaining) Melbourne 10.6 (66) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
And we’re off in the second half, with Melbourne looking to maintain their rampaging momentum of the second term. They go forward first as Aaron Vandenberg pumps the ball long to the top of the square but the Pies relieve through Ben Reid, who is back on the ground after that injury scare earlier. The Dees go forward again through Jayden Hunt, who has both the No29 guernsey and hairstyle of 90s Dees favourite Andrew Obst. But it’s a present hero, Nathan Jones, who hit’s the scoreboard first when his long, curling set shot sneaks through from near the 50 metre paint. Collingwood will struggle from here. The Dees have seven unanswered goals.
Half-time stats: the Maximum Gawn edition
What more can you say about Max Gawn’s second term? 15 hit-outs, 10 disposals and 2 goals almost single-handedly laid waste to as flat-footed Collingwood. Jess Hogan was no slouch either with a couple of goals of his own as the dominant key forward and Dean Kent has two majors to go with 15 disposals. Other key contributors: Bernie Vince and Nathan Jones have had leather poisoning his 21 and 19 possessions respectively, while Christian Petracca has had some real moments amid 13 possessions and a goal.
For the Pies, Steele Sidebottom, Brayden Maynard and Travis Varcoe have all had their moments, but there’s been far too many passengers. It’s too much to expect Mason Cox to do it all himself up forward, where Collingwood just look lumbering and impotent. Melbourne are a remarkable +70 for disposals and marginally lead nearly all the important statistical categories. They’re winning it more often, maintaining possession better and in that second term, found themselves on an irresistible run of momentum.
Whether Collingwood can fight back is the key question heading into the second half.
More bad news for the injury-cursed Pies...
Ben Reid limped to the bench, grabbing left knee. Straight into the rooms. Already had it strapped. #AFLDeesPies @abcgrandstand
— Neroli Meadows (@Neroli_M_FOX) June 13, 2016
Half-time: Melbourne's blitz has netted them a 26-point lead!
Half-time: Melbourne 9.6 (60) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
That was a quite remarkable 38-point turnaround from the Dees and they head to the main break with a 26-point buffer. Max Gawn and Jesse Hogan have torn this game a new one. Me? All this coffee talk is making me thirsty. I’ll be back in a sec with some stats but I might just make a brew of my own, so bear with me.
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (2:09 remaining) Melbourne 9.5 (59) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
For the moment it does feel a little like Melbourne has six extra men out there but they’ll also be aware of the need to fully capitalise on their momentum. It’s been a big run-on in this term and there’s still six minutes worth of that to work with. They surge a couple of times and also repel a few Pies forward ventures, before Gawn misses a 35-metre set shot.
That gets the Seven team talking about the pop-up coffee store. Is this the 2016 version of all those AFL players with gaudy t-shirt businesses in the mid-2000s? Has Dane Swan diversified his business interests accordingly? Are these backyard cafes given terrible pun names like the t-shirt labels were? There’s more questions than answers at this stage, I’m afraid, but I instinctively feel that Max Gawn would make a decent coffee.
THEN BIG MAX STRIKES! It’s Ablettesque stuff as he plucks it out of the air and snaps truly from close range. The Dees are all over this game now! They’ve kicked seven goals to Collingwood’s one in the second term. The Pies are Nescafe Blend 23. Melbourne are some delicious, obscure, single origin Peruvian stuff. I’ll take a triple shot!
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (8:09 remaining) Melbourne 8.4 (52) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Jack Viney pumps it long to the top of the square as Melbourne come again but the Pies finally get a breather when a couple of relieving marks allow them to work it down the members wing. Mason Cox gets a little lucky to win a free kick 70 metres from goal and pumps it long but the Dees also clear with confidence. Petracca passes long to Gawn, who has Kent in space. The pair of them lumber towards goal with a lone Pie in pursuit and Gawn draws him before firing off the handball and sending Kent through for the goal. It’s six goals to one in Melbourne’s favour in this second term and the Dees are just smashing Collingwood at the moment.
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (11:19 remaining) Melbourne 7.4 (46) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Now Hogan’s got two. Melbourne are dominant. The Pies are momentarily stunned. Hogan worms this one through with a helicopter punt from 30 metres out but it’s on the scoreboard and that’s all that matters. Max Gawn and his mason jars are simply dominating the middle and Hogan’s finishing it off like a perfect piece of latte art.
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (13:17 remaining) Melbourne 6.4 (40) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Melbourne are on fire! Now Max Gawn is booting one through on the volley after a centering ball into the goal square. Seven’s Hamish McLachlan is claiming that Gawn runs a pop-up cafe out of his home, serving coffee and smashed avocado on toast. He certainly has the beard for it. This game, meanwhile, is just mainlining double espresso shots. I’ve got the shakes just from typing. The Dees are serving up the goods!
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (15:09 remaining) Melbourne 5.4 (34) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Boom! Now Petracca goals and the Dees are level! There was some superb work from Ben Kennedy warding off a few Pies defenders before dishing off the handball and Petracca slams the goal through with a flat, speared punt. The Dees are all over Ben Sinclair, who couldn’t lay a hand on Petracca with an attempted tackle in the moments immediately preceding the score. Petracca is a beast and just flicked him off. That will gladden the hearts of Melbourne fans. Brutish stuff.
There's a wrestle on!
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (16:20 remaining) Melbourne 4.4 (28) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Jesse Hogan gets a lightning fast reply for Melbourne and no sooner does his left foot snap pass the line than he’s ripping into Brayden Maynard, who’d slung him to the ground in a post-goal tackle. Much pushing and shoving follows but the umpires solve the dilemma by sprinting to the middle and bouncing the ball. It works but Hogan’s guernsey is currently hanging by a thread. The Hulk is back!
Pies goal! 2nd quarter (16:40 remaining) Melbourne 3.4 (22) vs Collingwood 5.4 (34)
Ooft, Jordan De Goey was bounding towards an open goal here but Tom McDonald got very big on him very quickly and smothered an attempted handball to relieve the pressure. After a moment in which the ball’s in dispute, Travis Varcoe gets on the end of a ‘hit and hope’ pass, bumping Neville Jetta out of the way far too easily and then converting the set shot from 25 metres out. Hmm, that wasn’t great from Jetta. He needed to get an effective spoil in there and got nowhere close.
Dees goal! 2nd quarter (18:29 remaining) Melbourne 3.4 (22) vs Collingwood 4.4 (28)
Stopping to speak to Seven in the break, Dees coach-in-waiting Simon Goodwin said, “We’ve probably overused the ball a little bit,” and that his sideneed to slow the Pies down. Hitting a target inside 50 might also help. Moments later Jack Trengove is stabs through a 25 metres set shot so that the Dees claim first blood in the quarter. That wasn’t entirely convincing but it did the job.
All the greatest hits misses from that first term
.@collingwoodfc made a meal of several opportunities in front of the goals. #AFLDeesPies https://t.co/BBdbP6LOHq
— AFL (@AFL) June 13, 2016
Quarter time - Collingwood lead by two goals
Quarter time: Melbourne 2.4 (16) vs Collingwood 4.4 (28)
That’s all she wrote for the first term but the Dees were fortunate in the final seconds, during which the Pies surged forward again. It was all Melbourne in the first four to five minutes but after spurning a number of chances they let the Pies back into it and Nathan Buckley’s side has taken a few more of their chances to lead by 12 points at the first break.
Pies goal! 1st quarter (0:17 remaining) Melbourne 2.4 (16) vs Collingwood 4.4 (28)
Melbourne are surging a little here in the closing stages of the first term but the Pies defence not only hold firms but rebounds and a long pass from Levi Greenwood hits big Jarrod Witts at full extension. He’s 35 metres out on a slight angle but misses to the left with his set shot. On balance, both sides have missed a decent number of scoring opportunities they might have taken. But Collingwood do finally claim one when Travis Varcoe hits Steele Sidebottom on the chest 35 metres from the goal and the latter makes no mistake with the set shot, ripping into his opponent Tomas Bugg as he does so.
Dees goal! 1st quarter (3:02 remaining) Melbourne 2.4 (16) vs Collingwood 3.3 (21)
Melbourne certainly aren’t slack in the middle of the ground right now but it’s the forward entry that’s been their undoing and here Jayden Hunt steps up with the clanger, perfectly picking out a Pies defender. There follows some end-to-end stuff and the Dees show the way to do it: Hunt marks 65 metres from goal and his ‘protected area’ is invaded, resulting in a 50 metre penalty. That brings him to point blank range and though it’s a decent effort at missing the unmissable, he sneaks it through for a belated reply.
Pies goal! 1st quarter (5:27 remaining) Melbourne 1.4 (10) vs Collingwood 3.3 (21)
Now Melbourne finally go forward again and there’s a comedy of errors when Maynard at first intercepts the entry but then shambles a truly awful left foot pass straight onto the chest of Melbourne’s Jack Watts. He’s 25 metres out on a slight angle and a sure thing to get his side back on terms...but...he misses. How? Dear me. That was a shocker. Right on cue, reader Brendan Brown arrives with an observation: “All the talk about whether Essendon should be rewarded with the No1 draft pick and then I look at Jack Watts and ask, ‘Is that worth four years of hell’?”
Also right on cue, the Pies swing it down the other end and even Jesse White can’t miss from 15 metres out with acres of space around him.
Pies goal! 1st quarter (7:14 remaining) Melbourne 1.3 (9) vs Collingwood 2.3 (15)
The Pies have really worked their way back into it now and it’s always dangerous when Steele Sidebottom has the ball inside 50. Here he’s hemmed in on the boundary but finds space to fire a short pass into the corridor and onto the chest of Brayden Maynard. The youngster goes back from 35 metres out and hammers it home. Collingwood are in charge all of a sudden.
No goal but here’s an update anyway! 1st quarter (8:14 remaining) Melbourne 1.3 (9) vs Collingwood 1.3 (9)
Collingwood have their mojo working a little now and it’s because of hard-nosed efforts like a big tackle from nuggety Brayden Maynard, which wins a free. That aside, the umpires are keeping their whistles stashed away and it’s making for a slightly better spectacle than it might be otherwise, as both sides are a little scrappy with their skills right now.
Jack Watts fluffs a chance to run onto Dean Kent’s long pass and shoot on goal and the Pies punish the error on the rebound; after some nimble work from Brodie Grundy and Jarryd Blair there’s a gilt-edged chance for Jesse White but he fairly butchers his set shot from 25 metres out. That aside, it’s a fierce contest for the ball and the tackling is aggressive and frequent. Any player who gathers the ball does so with so little space to work it it’s as though he’s standing in a phone box, if you know what I mean. Well, if the phone box was a footballer with menacing intent. Come with me here, please.
Pies goal! 1st quarter (14:00 remaining) Melbourne 1.3 (9) vs Collingwood 1.1 (7)
Collingwood couldn’t even get a hand on it early but finally Bernie Vince sprays a running shot wide and out on the full to cough up possession. The Pies head down the southern wing but their first attacking move of the day is soon cut off and Melbourne rebound with intent. They’ve definitely settled far better than the Pies.
A lot of Collingwood’s best defensive efforts so far are coming from ex-Dee Jeremy Howe, but he needs a few mates. It’s nervy stuff from the Magpies and Vince soon finds Dawes 40 metres from goal on a 45 degree angle out in front of the MCC members. The waft of their tea flasks doesn’t inspire him and the set shot fades right but there’s chances galore. Vince misses another chance he might have taken and the only downside for the Dees right now is that they’re failing to capitalise on their momentum.
Travis Varcoe scrambles Collingwood’s first scoring chance of the day but far better is Mason Cox’s strong mark and goal from 30 metres out. The big American has taken the only chance he’s been given. Melbourne have squandered a few.
Dees goal! 1st quarter (19:13 remaining) Melbourne 1.0 (6) vs Collingwood 0.0 (0)
Melbourne win the first clearance of the game but it’s a rather artless forward entry from Aaron Vandenberg and his follow-up spray at goal fades wide. No matter, there follows a desperate goal square scramble and the returning Jack Viney proves he doesn’t need his dodgy injured hand, diving in feet first to kick the opening goal. The Dees are away!
The toss
...is won by Nathan Jones and Melbourne will kick towards the city end of the ground.
There was no musical entertainment before this one
...but let’s stick with the theme of the day and crank up some Sex Pistols. ‘God Save the Queen’ was, for those playing at home, released in the very same year – 1977 – that Collingwood lost the grand final replay to the upstart punks of North Melbourne. I’ve scanned the team lists from that day and come to the conclusion that Brent Crosswell was about the only player likely to have enjoyed the works of J Lydon.
Our teams today
Collingwood: Brayden Maynard, Ben Reid, Jeremy Howe, Jonathon Marsh, Jack Frost, Ben Sinclair, Tom Phillips, Adam Treloar, Steele Sidebottom, Levi Greenwood, Jesse White, Travis Varcoe, Jarrod Witts, Mason Cox, Jarryd Blair, Brodie Grundy, Scott Pendlebury, Jack Crisp. I/C: Jordan De Goey, Marley Williams, Ben Crocker, Josh Smith
Melbourne: Tomas Bugg, Tom McDonald, Neville Jetta, Billy Stretch, Oscar McDonald, Josh Wagner, Jack Viney, Christian Petracca, Bernie Vince, Dean Kent, Jack Watts, Aaron Vandenberg, Sam Frost, Jesse Hogan, Chris Dawes, Max Gawn, Nathan Jones, Dom Tyson. I/C: Jack Trengove, Clayton Oliver, Jayden Hunt, Ben Kennedy
Prediction time? I’m going all in on Melbourne today. They face an undermanned opponent and this is really their day, this one. It’d be great if they played like it. The Pies are now out on the ground and Nathan Buckley speaks to Seven’s Andrew Welsh. “We believe in the best version of our footy,” he says. “It’s an elite competition so if you’re a couple of percent off you get exposed.” He says they’ll rotate a number of their taller players through the middle on Melbourne’s dominant big man Max Gawn.
A round of applause for all - especially @NealeDaniher. Inspirational #freezeMND pic.twitter.com/x2Sk5x0837
— Collingwood FC (@CollingwoodFC) June 13, 2016
Preamble
Hello all and welcome to this Queen’s Birthday clash between Collingwood and Melbourne. In years recently passed this one has shaped as an event as blockbustery as a Pauly Shore film premiere, but here we are in this strange 2016 AFL season in which the Pies and Dees are actually an evenly-matched pair. This could be a beauty, no? Ok, temper your expectations a little but there is at least the promise of a close game.
Missing a host of stars (Swan, Fasolo, Elliott, Adams and Moore is quite a list of ‘outs’), Collingwood face a much-improved Demons side – one that is both fierce at the contest in the middle of the ground and far more potent in attack. But the build-up to this game has been all about Neale Daniher’s ‘Freeze MND’ initiative, which has just seen Cameron Ling (dressed as Ronald McDonald), Kevin Sheedy (Tinkerbell), Jonathan Brown (Toy Story’s ‘Woody’) and Dave Hughes (Bruce Doull) sliding into a giant ice bath, as did Pies president Eddie McGuire. Will it be a metaphor for the Pies?
I’ll be back shortly with today’s teams, but feel free to contact me on the email and twitter deets above in the meantime.
👋👍💦 #freezeMND pic.twitter.com/0pK6DbYI49
— Collingwood FC (@CollingwoodFC) June 13, 2016
Russ will be here shortly with all the team news as Melbourne take on Collingwood in their now-traditional Queen’s Birthday clash.
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