Meghan Markle has admitted motherhood is not how she “envisioned it.”
The Duchess of Sussex opened up about the trials and tribulations of having children on the latest episode of her podcast: Confessions Of A Female Founder.
Meghan also said she had planned to give speeches “with a baby on my hip” while working as a senior royal.
She and Prince Harry stepped back from being a senior working royal for a new life in the US when Prince Archie was 10 months old amid the turmoil of Megxit.
In the latest episode of her podcast, Meghan told founder of sustainable hair and beauty brand Kitsch, Cassandra Thurswell, that she had a “lot of external things happening” during both pregnancies and when her children were newborns.
The duchess, who married into the royal family in 2018, said: “I will say, for myself – especially when they are baby babies and, yes, the crying, before I was mum, I’ve always wanted to be a mum.
“I was like ‘Oh gosh, I’m going to give a speech with a baby on my hip’.
“I had a whole vision – and then you fast forward… granted I had a lot of external things happening by the time I had both pregnancies and both babies.
“But it was not the way I envisioned it.”
The closest Meghan has come to delivering a speech with one of her children in her arms was taking then five-month-old baby Archie on an official tour to South Africa in 2019, when Meghan held him as he met Archbishop Desmond Tutu in front of the cameras.
The trip schedule was planned around Archie’s feeding times, with the duchess saying then: “We’re doing well. I think the schedule – they have been very kind to me, because everything is based around Archie’s feed times.
“So it’s a full plate, but we’re making it work. It’s worth it.”
But behind the scenes, Meghan and Harry were struggling with their life as part of the royal family amid fall-outs with the Windsors and intense media scrutiny.
The duchess gave an emotional interview to ITV at the end of the tour, revealing she was finding it difficult and adding: “Thank you for asking. Not many people have asked if I’m OK … it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.”
In the latest episode of her Confessions Of A Female Founder series, Meghan, who this year launched her As Ever brand and lifestyle Netflix series, said: “It’s so important my kids see me as a working mom.”
She previously said, during an appearance on The Jamie Kern Lima Show, that juggling work can be “incredibly overwhelming”, and revealed she also has an “amazing” nanny who has been with the family for five years.
Meanwhile, Thurswell referred to Meghan as “Meghan Markle” but the duchess did not correct her despite calling out actress Mindy Kaling during her Netflix series when she used her previous surname.
Thurswell said: “I love that you call me Cassie … There’s such a small handful of people that call me Cassie, and it’s like my immediate family and Meghan Markle.”
Meghan laughed and replied: “It’s like Meg or M. It’s the same thing. It’s how we met all those years ago.”
The duchess told Kaling during an episode of her With Love, Meghan show: “You keep saying ‘Meghan Markle’ – you know, I’m Sussex now.”
Meghan revealed she met Thurswell in 2009 through the businesswoman’s cousin, who is a friend of the duchess.
Meghan was auditioning for acting parts and Thurswell ending up helping her by styling her outfits, including the shoes she wore to her final audition for the legal drama Suits.
The duchess also compared gardening to running a business, saying some seasons are for “blooming” and others for “tending to the soil”.
The episode was released just a day after known gardening enthusiasts the King and Queen visited the Chelsea Flower Show, meeting former footballer David Beckham and seeing a rose named in Charles’s honour.
The duchess said: “OK, so I think you guys know, I really like being in the garden, and running a business, funnily enough, it’s a lot like gardening.
“Some seasons are for blooming, others are for planting seeds, but most of the work, especially early on, it’s tending to the soil.
“It’s the foundation. It’s what everything is going to grow out of.”
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