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Melissa Maykin, Inga Stünzner and Hilda Wayne for Sistas, Let's Talk 

Meet the LGBTQI Pacific Islanders overcoming a 'colonial mindset' and 'narrative of shame' to embrace their true selves

Kalisito says vakasalewalewa play important roles in everyday Fijian life.  (Supplied: Kalisito Biaukula )

From an early age, Kalisito Biaukula stood out as the "loudest, wildest, craziest, most androgynous" child in what was a very traditional Fijian family.

"I know growing up I know I was different. I believe that I was born trapped in the wrong body," they said.

The 25-year-old broadcaster and activist is vakasalewalewa, an iTaukei term that describes a third gender, or people assigned male at birth but who have a feminine gender expression.

"I think in three generations of my family, none of them were queer or different. I was the only one," they said.

"It was also a derogatory term used to call out queer people as evil or wrong during colonisation, but I am reclaiming the name as a form of empowerment and resilience."

LGBTQI rights in Oceania 

LGBTQI Pacific Islanders have fewer freedoms than those who are straight, and experience higher levels of violence, marginalisation and discrimination.

Only eight of 14 states in the Oceania region have decriminalised same-sex acts, according to a report by the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association

In the Cook Islands, Kiribati, Samoa, Solomon Islands, Tonga and Tuvalu, homosexuality is illegal.

So just how difficult is it to come out in the Pacific and live an authentic life?

Like other young children, Kalisito enjoyed dressing up in their mother's clothes, but was always careful not to get caught.

"The Pacific conversion therapy was getting beaten up by your family members or your relatives just to change me."

'Pacific conversion therapy'

Kalisito relocated to Fiji's capital, Suva, to escape the violence. But the torment continued there.

"I faced it in public because as a vakasalewalewa, I am visible enough for society to pick on me," they said.

Kalisito said vakasalewalewa deserve better acknowledgement for the "very important roles" they play in Fijian life.

"We play the kitchen maid. When there's a function, we do the cleaning, the decorating, the housekeeping and we become singers in the choir for the church on Sunday," they sad.

A lineage of queer ancestors

Tagi says the power and beauty of queer Pasifika people is inspiring.  (Supplied: Tagi Qolouvaki)

Fijian-Tongan queer woman Tagi Qolouvaki recalled happy childhood memories growing up in a "huge and beautiful and incredibly diverse" family.

"The presence of gay, effeminate men, of third-gender folks as a natural part of our environment in Fiji absolutely allowed me to be who I am," she said.

It was this example that encouraged Tagi to explore her own sexuality.

"When I fell in love with a woman, it surprised me. I wasn't aware that there was this potential and capacity for love like there is in queer love," she said.

"I was so excited and I just wanted my family to know."

Tagi said she drew inspiration from the "power and deep beauty" of queer, Pasifika people.

'Long way still to go'

Fijian activist Noelene Nabulivou co-founded feminist rights organisation Diverse Voices and Action for Equality (DIVA) and has advocated for LGBTQI women for more than 35 years.

Noelene says LGBTQI people just want to live fulfilling lives.  (Supplied: Noelene Nabulivou)

Without support systems, Noelene said being open about sexuality or gender identity in the Pacific can increase a person's risk of homelessness, poverty, university dropout and discrimination.

"Our research found at least 35 per cent of young people had already left their biological families by the time they were 18," she said.

Noelene said DIVA was working with police, corrections, universities and in workplaces to educate staff and change the culture around Fiji's treatment of LGBTQI people.

'One of the greatest blessings'

Samoan DJ Manavai Alefosio identifies as fa'afafine and was raised in a supportive and inclusive Samoan family that made her feel safe and accepted – but she acknowledged not everyone had that.

"It's important for family and community to accept your sexuality and gender because it's just one way to affirm your existence," she said.

"We don't grow up learning to affirm ourselves and family and community really act as that foundation to truly see and accept who you are.

Sha says being openly queer is liberating.  (Supplied: Sha Ongelungel )

"It's been a beautiful experience for my younger gay cousins to just come out to me."

For queer Palauan artist and activist Sha Merirei Ongelungel, embracing her identity in full was a liberating experience and one that helped her to flourish as a creative.

"Being out and living genuinely and authentically as myself has been one of the greatest blessings," Sha said.

"While it is a personal and often difficult decision to make, I would make this choice time and time again because life is short, because I owe it to those who came before me to be my authentic self.

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