Oct. 31--There's that old axiom about there being two types of people: Those who eat to live, and those who live to eat. In you're the latter, consider New York podcaster Dan Pashman -- host of WNYC's "The Sporkful" -- as your food life coach. His new book, "Eat More Better: How to Make Every Bite More Delicious," is a tongue-firmly-in-cheek textbook on ways to improve your interactions with food. Every conceivable area is covered, from "Load Bearing in Sandwich Construction" to "Pros and Cons of Citrus Garnish Shapes." Pashman lists four methods of eating a chicken winglet.
If this sounds like the screed of a food obsessive-compulsive, it's because Pashman -- a James Beard Award nominee -- does, in fact, possess the fanaticism of a fire and brimstone preacher. And that trait makes for a wildly hilarious read. Who else would interview the founder of Michigan State University's Moist Towelette Museum for tips on moist towelette usage? But Pashman's over-the-top thoroughness actually yields some surprisingly practical tips. (Substitute cereal with cheddar Goldfish crackers: It really does work in a bowl of milk.)
Catch Pashman's lecture 7 p.m. Thursday at the Book Cellar in Lincoln Square, and 3 p.m. next Saturday at 57th Street Books in Hyde Park.
Q: Many people I know eat for sustenance, not pleasure. Why your mission to "eat more better"?
A: I think a mindless meal is a tragedy. Eating is such a simple pleasure, and it's so easy to make every meal at least a little more delicious, even if you have no culinary training and (little) money. Why wouldn't you want to do that? I truly believe that if you put that bit of extra thought into each bite, the increased pleasure you'll experience will make your life better.
I do understand that once in a while you're busy and you just need to eat to keep living. That happens to all of us. But we should want it to happen as infrequently as possible. I think of Soylent, that milkshake-esque meal replacement product created by Silicon Valley types who are so busy writing code and disrupting things that they don't have time for a decent meal. Now if writing code gives you that much pleasure, I'm happy for you. But Kevin, if you ever catch me with a case of Soylent in my suitcase, please put me out of my misery.
Q: Which foodstuff inspired the most contentious debate in regard to the proper way of eating it?
A: A lot of people are upset about my contention that cold pie with cool ice cream is better than warm pie with very cold ice cream. When you put cold ice cream on hot pie, the ice cream melts too quickly and turns to soup. Like many foods, ice cream has more flavor and aroma when it's not freezing cold. But you want it to have its creamy texture -- you don't want liquid. By putting cold ice cream on cold pie and giving the ice cream time to warm up and melt just a bit before you eat it, you're getting the ice cream to the perfect temperature and maintaining it, because the pie is about the same temperature. Plus, good pie crust has a density when it's cold that I find rapturous.
Q: In your book you demonstrate no less than four ways of properly eating a chicken wing. You've obviously done your research, so, which is the correct way?
A: I try to make a distinction in the book between matters of taste and issues of objective truth. At times I say "this is the right way." Other times I essentially say, "Here are your options. It's a matter of taste, so you decide. I just want you to understand the factors at play." In the case of the wings, I think whichever works for you is fine. The point of these techniques is to help people get all the meat, especially from the wings with the two parallel bones, which can be more challenging because meat gets stuck between the bones. But those have more tender meat and a better meat-to-bone ratio (MTBR) than the mini-drumsticks, so I want to help people enjoy those more. Of the techniques in the book, the Meat Umbrella is certainly the biggest crowd pleaser and most fun to execute, but it can go awry and it's hard to actually get the meat into your mouth. The Bone Splitter is my personal favorite.
Q: The Meat Umbrella looked impossible. Please elaborate.
A: The Meat Umbrella does require a bit of practice. The day before I had to do it live on the "Today" show, I ordered two dozen wings at my local spot to fine tune the technique. Then, on live TV, I got a dud wing where the meat was totally stuck to the bone and it failed. Matt Lauer was not impressed. In general it helps if you use two hands, and then it's just a matter of getting a feel for how much pressure to exert inward and downward. But really, once you do it a few times you'll get the hang of it.
Q: Your nine strategies for tackling a buffet is equally inspiring. Tell me your favorite.
A: My clear favorite is the one I learned from my mom: Survey the entire buffet before you start taking anything. It's so crucial. An all-you-can-eat buffet is constructed to trip you up, with fillers like starch and salad at the beginning. Plate space is a valuable resource. Spend it wisely.
Q: We like the idea of becoming smarter restaurant eaters. Give me a few pointers that will enhance my dining out experience.
A: Don't get hung up on the traditional order of appetizer, entree, dessert. If you are just dying to eat a certain entree, that should be the first thing that goes into your mouth, when you're very hungry and your taste buds are primed, so it's as delicious as possible. If you're still hungry after that, order an appetizer. If you walk into a restaurant craving something sweet, start with dessert.
Also, beware of scented hand soaps in the bathroom. Their smell gets on your hands and can affect the eating experience. Restaurants should put much more thought into this. I recommend the appointment of a soapellier who can identify soap and food pairings, such as lavender soap with ratatouille.
Q: I see you've spent three years waiting tables. You suggest a few questions diners should and shouldn't ask.
A: Diners need to understand that your interests and your server's interests are aligned to a point -- but not entirely. Of course your server wants you to enjoy your food and have a nice time, so you'll tip well and come again. But your server also wants you to spend a little more money than you intended. Plus, a server could recommend a dish they truly love that ends up disappointing you. So never ask, "What's good here?" Set clear parameters, like, "I'm in the mood for pasta" or "I'm debating between these two dishes, which do you recommend?" This way you're offering the server some guidance and taking dishes you deem too expensive out of contention.
Q: I know a few people who bring their own special salt to a restaurant. I can see how this might improve taste, but do you draw a line somewhere? At some point, is it worth the public ridicule?
A: Well, true eaters don't worry about public ridicule. We strive for deliciousness, not adoration. That being said, part of the reason you go to a restaurant is to eat something created by a chef with a specific purpose. If you start bringing half your pantry to dinner, I have to wonder why you're going to that restaurant at all. I also have to wonder, Kevin ... When you say you "know a few people who bring their own salt," are you really just talking about yourself?
Q: No, I would never bring sel gris to a restaurant. I trust the chef's judgment. Along the same lines, do you cringe when diners reflexively add salt and pepper to a dish before tasting it?
A: Oh, absolutely. When I see that, I secretly hope that the chef accidentally put way too much salt in the dish in the kitchen.
kpang@tribune.com
Twitter @pang
