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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Jane Perrone

Me and my garden: ‘We planted a rose garden with our daughter’s ashes’

Eileen Reese
Eileen Reece: ‘The garden has always been a place for me to think, to be calm.’ Photograph: Sophia Evans for the Guardian

After my daughter Maxine was born in 1981, she was diagnosed with congenital heart disease at about three months. It was a life-threatening disease and I decided to stay at home for a few years, so I could spend as much time with her as possible. I started growing and selling herbs – I had about 120 of them in the garden. The garden was like an allotment, with greenhouses and vegetables, but not many flowers.

I didn’t have any interest in roses then, but one day when Maxine was about seven, she said to me, “Mummy, can we move to a house that’s got roses around the door?” I said to her, “Well, I don’t really want to move, but I’ll grow one,” so we planted a climbing rose by the back door – and it’s still there today. Ten years ago, we built a new house in our garden and moved in there; our current garden is half the size it was.

When Maxine passed away in 2012, aged 30, we remembered that she loved roses, so we asked for people to bring one rose to the funeral. Some people brought me rose plants as well, so we started a little garden for her and planted them there, with her ashes. Maxine’s favourite colour was purple, so one friend bought us a rose called ‘Rhapsody in Blue’, which is about as close as you can get to purple. Then I cleared my front garden and planted out half a dozen roses, all with lovely perfumes. My mother-in-law died the same year and we inherited the roses from her garden, too. We planted her favourite, ‘Just Joey’, in the front garden, along with her ashes.

It’s been my project since 2012 to transform the whole garden: it’s my passion. It has always been a place for me to think, to be calm, and to be myself. My other daughter, Gemma, likes to come and sit here, too. I still have a tiny vegetable patch. Our granddaughter Billie planted bean seeds on some mud last year, and we were amazed when they sprouted this spring. Now they’re planted in a little patch for her, and they’re doing better than my beans.

My favourite spot

Maxine was a sun worshipper: she’d bring her sunbed or chair into a corner of the garden to catch the last rays. That’s why we put the rose garden there. It’s a very peaceful place.

• How does your garden grow? Email gardens@theguardian.com

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