In a column last month, I wrote about the deplorable and widespread use of the word skyrocketing. Imagine my delight then to read the following from an RAC spokesman, Simon Williams, commenting on the rise in oil prices: “With analysts predicting that oil will average $135 a barrel for the rest of this year, drivers need to brace themselves for average fuel prices rocketing to £2 a litre, which would mean a fill-up would rise to an unbelievable £110.”
God bless Simon Williams for cutting out the hyperbole and keeping a sense of proportion.
Sadly, another word has recently become all too commonplace. Eye-watering. Just consider the following headlines from last week: “Harry Kane fortune: Eye-watering amount England hero is REALLY worth”; “Caribbean properties of ‘eye-watering low value’, court told”; “James Sands eye-watering Rangers transfer fee revealed as Ibrox side tipped to trigger option to buy”; “Jack Vidgen reveals he once ended up in hospital for a week after an eye-watering sex act with a Power Ranger went horribly wrong” (rather intriguing that one, is it not?). Ubiquity doesn’t equate to acceptability, though, and it’s time this headline cliche was consigned to the dustbin.
Joining it in that receptacle should be that most horrible of phrases – going forward. I suppose it’s intended to convey a sense of speed or dynamism, but so equally would be “in future” or “progressing”.
An altogether more beguiling turn of phrase was encountered last week when I was watching Gideon’s Way on Talking Pictures TV (I know, but there wasn’t anything else I wanted to watch). Anyway, Gideon uttered the following simile: “As crooked as a yokel’s walking stick.”
You couldn’t of course use the word yokel these days, but I was taken with it none the less. Google was of no use in suggesting any coinage, but feel free to roll it out when you feel it would be appropriate.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
