By and large, I have given the subject of Brexit a wide berth in this column, given that it is such a toxic subject deluged in bile and beset by black propaganda. But strong man that I am, my resistance was weakened by the appearance of Justine Greening on Channel 4 News.
Addressing this most vexatious of topics, she let fly with a barrage of “gridlocks”. If she said it once, she said it a dozen times. Yes Justine, we got the message, that you think we’ve reached an impasse. Her mouth grew ever more contorted as she spat out yet another “gridlock”.
Mind you, she’s not alone. There’s the tow-haired twerp talking about “vassalage”, his bespectacled beanpole partner in crime going on about us becoming a “vassal state” or a “slave state”; another Leaver talks of “Brexitosis” (no, I haven’t a clue either), while a reliably hyperbolic and hysterical newspaper columnist writes of our “infeudation”. All we need now is for them all to offer a rousing rendition of the national anthem to round off their complaints.
What a pleasure therefore to return to the subject of last week’s column – football – and the goings-on at Fulham. Having defenestrated Slaviša Jokanović, the club’s owner, Shahid Khan, wasted no time in installing former Leicester manager and title winner Claudio Ranieri and welcomed him thus: “His recent body of work with Leicester City is literally legendary.” High praise, but surely a double offence in one sentence against the English language merits a straight red card.
Finally, the BBC reports that Bet365’s boss, Denise Coates, received “compensation” of £265m last year. Nice work if you can get it, but surely compensation is paid to those who have suffered injury or loss. “Was paid” seems altogether more correct.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
