I have been crossing my fingers, hoping against hope but still living in dread. And then last week, it happened. Another newspaper (I shall spare its blushes) used the word I had been fearing - Linekergate. Of all the journalistic devices, I think this is probably the laziest ever.
Alas, it wasn’t alone: another headline: “What Linekergate says about the divided state of our nation.” And another one: “Linekergate and the weekend’s Premier League verdict.” And yet another one: “BBC crisis over Linekergate.” For heaven’s sake, my fellow journalists, get a grip and ditch this nonsensical construction.
To happier news. A front-page story in my local newspaper had the subhead, “New police ‘front office’ to open in the Square.” Like many small towns, mine is noticeable by the absence of police officers except occasionally on Friday nights when the booze begins to talk, the dander is up and fists begin to fly.
But I’m flummoxed by what a front office could be. Is it a rozzer behind a desk? More than likely, I imagine. The report goes on: “Residents also heard the structure at Hampshire and the Isle of Wight Police was being changed as there was often no cohesion between silos.” Silo? Could this possibly be what we used to call a cop shop? If so, kindly stop hiding behind management speak and tell it like it is.
I was amused by this message from Bill Hunt: “In the most recent edition of the St James’s Place magazine, The Investor, contributor Tiffani Bova was described as ‘Growth and Innovation Evangelist, Salesforce’. Gospel truth.” Bless you, Bill. And thank you to Shaun Wragg: “The regulator in N Ireland has reprimanded energy suppliers for poor call centre performance. Included in the knuckle rapping are: ‘Suppliers representing the customer-facing element of the energy market’.” I think the least said on that one the better.
Email jonathan.bouquet@observer.co.uk
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
