English football owes a great debt of thanks to the Argentinian managers who have graced the game. Who could not thrill to the former Tottenham manager Ossie Ardiles when discussing his fellow Spurs midfield maestro: “Glenn Hoddle is putting his head in the frying pan”?
Or to Marcelo Bielsa, the joyous manager of Leeds United, who, after being caught out spying on an opposing team, offered us: “What I have done is not illegal. It is not specified [in the regulations] and it is not restrained. It is not a violation of law. We can discuss if it is right or wrong”?
To their garlanded ranks we must add Mauricio Pochettino, the Spurs manager, who spoke thus before his team’s Champions League semi-final against Ajax: “Always you must dream with the moon if you want to get to the sky. You need to settle your dreams. In the infinity and beyond. Because if you put your dream here and in the moment, if you don’t get this dream, you get this and maybe it’s a bottle of water. It’s so difficult to accept.” Blimey. Pure poetry or what. Even a reference to Buzz Lightyear. I don’t know what they put in the water in Argentina, but they should bottle it and distribute it to most of the lunks who manage our teams.
Or maybe it’s something in the water in north London, for who should pop up before the same game but Martin Jol, another former Spurs manager: “I would never say anything negative about Spurs. It was like a rose garden and you never spit in your own garden.” Nice try, but not quite up to Argentinian standards.
Finally, I must salute Keith Richards, who appeared on BBC Four’s brilliant documentary about John Lee Hooker, directed by Todd Austin. He has to be the only rock star who still refers to his fellow musicians as “cats”. Pure Keef, pure rock’n’roll.
•Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
