Some months ago, I wrote about Boris Johnson and his road maps, route finders and other navigational devices to ease our path through the coronavirus crisis.
As he’s clearly not a very good map reader, and as we’re still deep in the doo-doo, he’s changed tack and gone to sea (did you see what I did there?). Last week, it was all buffeting, headwinds and choppy waters ahead. I must say I never had the prime minister down as Ted Heath reincarnate, but I’m sure he would look very fetching in a sou’wester. I just can’t help feeling, though, that we’re still all at sea.
Also last week, I had a letter from an anguished reader bemoaning the increased frequency of the use of the word “multiple” when “many” would always suffice. How I share her annoyance. But in no way wishing to add to her woes, there’s another word that is increasingly despoiling the landscape – bombshell. Just consider a couple of very recent headlines: “Bible bombshell: City where Jesus fed crowds with five loaves and two fishes found”; and “Bombshell secret road map finally reveals how Melbourne will leave stage four lockdown”. You have been warned - there’s high explosive incoming from all directions, all of it hyperbolic.
Talking of hyperbole, little could top the following statement from the Sussexes, announcing their megabucks tie-up with Netflix: “As new parents, making inspirational family programming is important to us, as is powerful storytelling through a truthful and relatable lens. We are pleased to work with the team at Netflix whose unprecedented reach will help us share impactful content that unlocks action.”
And on that bombshell, I’m off to stock up on sick bags.
•Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
