I find myself increasingly wearied by the language of our weather forecasters - dribs and drabs, spits and spots, mist and murk - and long for something more dramatic. So God bless the BBC for the following headline from last weekend: “US east coast hunkers down as ‘bombogenesis’ snowstorm hits.”
The report went on to explain this apocalyptic-sounding event thus: “Experts say the storm will undergo bombogenesis, meaning that colder air is expected to mix with warmer sea air, leading to a swift drop in atmospheric pressure. The process leads to a so-called bomb cyclone.” That’s more like it.
As if that wasn’t enough, there was a report of a record lightning bolt, also in the US, which stretched nearly 500 miles and has been named a “megaflash” and lit up the skies of Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi in April 2020, according to the World Meteorological Organization. The previous best was a measly 440-mile flash in Brazil. OK, I know that we don’t have such dramatic extremes in this country, but I fear that spits and spots will never cut the mustard again.
Marvellous what tripe ends up in my inbox. Consider this: “I wanted to reach out on behalf of our R.Agency client, what3words, the location tech app which has recently officially launched in 50 languages. As part of celebrating this incredible milestone, what3words has launched a fantastic new book we’d love to gift you!” Glossing over the generous offer to reach out to me, I wouldn’t mind if you gave me a copy, but I do draw the line at using gift as a verb.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be off to see if there is a bombogenesis snowstorm in the offing and hunker down accordingly.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
