As both my father and uncle served in the navy, I take an interest in goings-on in the Senior Service.
The news never seems anything other than of cutbacks and delays in the deployment of new ships. Last week was no exception, with a story headlined: “Navy to axe half of office staff in boost to front line”. I’m all for getting desk wallahs to be more active, but half...? In the report, a spokesman was quoted as saying: “We could send them back to work on a ship, while their jobs could be done by either reducing the rank that it’s done or we potentially civilianise them.”
I’ve seen some grotesque words but that’s off the scale. I wonder if the navy still flogs offenders round the fleet. If it doesn’t, it should reinstate it swiftly, for that man surely deserves it. Mind you, there were a lot of voters in the Iowa caucus debacle causing similar offence by proudly brandishing posters saying: “I’m caucusing Bernie” or “I’m caucusuing Joe”.
Not nice. It seems that even some US political pundits have trouble pronouncing Pete Buttigieg’s surname. Many have resorted to the reasonable fallback position of calling him “Mayor Pete”.
Also last week, I was delighted to hear a fine sporting phrase that should certainly be added to the lexicon. Commentating on the Ireland and Scotland game (how did Stuart Hogg contrive to drop that ball?), an excitable commentator boldly proclaimed that “Scotland are playing on the edge of the envelope.” Brilliant. I just hope someone will explain to me what that means.
Lastly, a prediction. Just as “precarity” has taken an unpleasant hold, I forecast that “particularity” will soon follow in its clunking footsteps.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
