The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Five years ago Josie Long did an impression of Ed Miliband, as if he was a boisterous and cocky anarchist. She broke two massive plant pots and spat all over the stage. I was crying with laughter.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …
I don’t know if this counts but the YouTube clip of Beyoncé dancing to Thomas the Tank Engine is my religion.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
I used to be obsessed with the show Totally Scott-Lee where Lisa Scott-Lee from Steps tries to get a Top 10 hit. It’s funny for all the wrong reasons.
The funniest person I know …
My eight-year-old niece, who keeps telling me her favourite emoji is the chocolate icing. We’re having family meetings about who’s going to break the news to her.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
“You better not get egg in my weave.”
The funniest item of clothing I’ve owned …
My mum once bought me a bootleg Lacoste top from Pakistan, spelt “Low Cost”.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
Back in my “rude boy” days I had the Nike tick shaved into the back of my head but the barber got it a bit wrong and it looked more like the tick for Sure deodorant.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
Aamer Rahman’s bit about reverse racism. It’s everything.
Mawaan Rizwan: Juice is at Pleasance Dome, Edinburgh, Wed to 27 Aug
