That’s all for tonight. Thanks again for following along with me!
Tomorrow night: another episode before social distancing came into effect. It’s “one of the biggest service challenges MasterChef has ever seen”!! Yikes.
Maybe it’s a good thing Hayden got out of there.
Farewell @hayden_quinn 👋😥 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/kxJvbxZT4N
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 17, 2020
Haydos is goneski
Hayden hugs everyone and gives each of them a huge shoutout. Andy is sad because, in his professional opinion, strewth we’re losing ripper blokes by the second!!!
I feel like I’ve made fun of Hayden a lot during these liveblogs, but I’m truly going to miss his giant labrador energy. He’s always been self-aware about the fact the other contestants have more professional culinary experience than he does, and has competed really well alongside them anyway (corn chips aside).
Sending out a final shaka to the big dog.
The bottom two, as we knew it would be, is Sarah Clare and Hayden.
Sarah’s dish was dominated by beetroot, and Hayden’s dish was burnt beef with some claggy ketchup. Hayden is going home!!
Time for the final verdict.
Tessa is safe for her perfect bowl of fish. Brendan is next. Then Callum’s cake that we didn’t really see.
Laura is safe too. Jock calls her dish “bellissimo” and serotonin instantly floods through her brain like tomato sugo floods through fresh pasta.
Sarah Tiong is also safe.
Like Hayden’s ketchup dish, Sarah’s tartare has also been variously described as “weird”. Jock’s highest compliment is that “it’s not the worst beef tartare I’ve ever had”. Hope that makes you feel better about yourself, Sarah!
It’s Sarah Clare’s turn for tasting. “Has coming into this kitchen made you doubt your abilities?” Jock asks Sarah, moments before ripping into a dish that she serves at her real-life restaurant on national TV.
“What?” he says, shocked. “Really???”
What could have made her feel this way???
It’s “very clever”, Jock says! It’s “almost perfect” and “zen-like”. There is nothing wrong with it at all! Great job, Tessa.
Also this, today and every day:
Melissa: *eloquent elaborate critique*
— Lisa (@LisaFaye6) May 17, 2020
Andy: That was like... so so tasty #MasterchefAU
Tessa’s little fish bowl is next. She smiles and says she felt good during the second cook. Who would have thought! Turns out people feel better and produce better work when they’re not getting assaulted by topsy turvy twists designed to psychologically torment them.
Callum’s cake doesn’t get much time on screen at all which means it’s not the best and also not the worst. Ditto with Sarah Tiong’s prawns.
Andy says “it’s just another perfect pasta dish” from Laura. Jock doesn’t get a word in, presumably because he just drooled at the camera for 15 minutes straight.
The judges look physically disgusted with various aspects of Hayden’s dish and describe it as “not his best”, “weird” (twice) and “clogged” (ugh).
"Beef is so well done!"
— Hayden Quinn (@hayden_quinn) May 17, 2020
*depends how you read it*#masterchefau
Hayden’s up next with his uhh… ketchup. He seems extremely confident for someone who was explicitly told he has nothing to be confident about.
Jock says that “beef is so well done” and, considering we recently saw that beef on fire, I’m going to say he doesn’t mean it in the good way. What a gift to the editing team that one was.
It’s time to taste! (Again)
Brendan’s rice flour rolls are up first. He’s nailed the brief! The lemongrass and ginger is the hero. “Yum cha me up” Any says, for some reason. Brendan’s safe, no worries at all.
Just kidding. There’s no more twists. Breathe.
Time’s up!! And Jock reveals that the contestants now have to swap their dishes with someone else’s?????!!! WHAT.
Oh no!! Sarah Clare’s egg yolk breaks as she puts it on her tartare. There is not much you can do about that. Crushing. Another MasterChef career ended over a single egg (RIP Dani).
“NO TWISTS, THERE’S DEFINITELY NO TWISTS,” Melissa yells, with five minutes to go. In the distance, Hayden’s beef has turned to charcoal.
Everyone has their hibachis out and they’re all getting their mandatory close-ups.
Sarah is making South East Asian flavours. Laura is cooking pasta, Hayden is back on the hibachi. Nature is healing #MasterChefAU
— Lan (@thatslantastic) May 17, 2020
We’re back! And Sarah is helpfully listing every single thing that could go wrong with her dish. “It’s like they’re not even cooking. It can be bland. It can be chewy. Actually, it’s disgusting I guess”.
“We’ve seen tartare send people home before,” Melissa says, foreshadowing trouble.
Tartare makes the judges say ta-ta, amirite? (I’m so sorry).
Tessa is making bonito with ginger and lemongrass granita. Sarah Clare is making a beetroot and horseradish beef tartare and … we’ve seen that somewhere before.
It's not looking good for one of our favourites tonight! 😱 Tune into our bombshell elimination, 7.30 tonight on 10! #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/5i6Y5N3nbO
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 17, 2020
Is this a fakeout for a Hayden loss?
“There are no more twists,” Jock screams, making everyone immediately suspicious of a last-minute twist.
Hayden is getting the throwback treatment which makes me worried for his dish… He says that MasterChef has changed his life over the past nine years.
And uhh, uh oh. He’s using beetroot and horseradish in a ketchup on the side of a beef dish, which means he’s 100% missing the brief. Bye Hayden! :’(
Laura is making a pretty basic tomato pasta, Sarah Tiong is making prawns with lemongrass and ginger caramel with green mango salad, Callum is making apple and cinnamon cake.
Brendan once again calls Reece his “best friend” and says he’s grateful for his support :’)
He’s making steamed rice flour rolls with pork, ginger and lemongrass.
The there’s no twist end Twist week: Laura cooks pasta #MasterchefAU
— Jenny Leong MP (@jennyleong) May 17, 2020
Laura has taken all the tomatoes for a pasta dish that Jock will lose his mind over, Tessa has secured a whole fish, nature is healing.
We are at the point in the competition where I don’t need to make a Laura pasta joke. She does them herself.
The second ‘twistless’ challenge
The seven remaining contestants - Brendan, Hayden, Laura, Tessa, both Sarahs, and Callum - have to choose from one of seven flavour pairings and hero it in their final dish. The pairings are: apples and cinnamon, tomatoes and basil, ginger and lemongrass, walnuts and dates, beetroot and horseradish.
The contestant who makes the worst dish will be going home.
But, Jock asks, what is the final twist of Twist Week? The final twist is that THERE IS NO TWIST. It was all a dream, they were dead all along, we are the all singing all dancing crap of the world.
This means that Brendan, Hayden, Laura, Tessa, both Sarahs, and Callum are cooking for their lives in the second round.
The judges really liked Sarah’s dish, but they choose Reynold on the basis of “what we would eat again”. It’s the right decision, I guess, but how on earth are those two judges supposed to compete in the same realm as one another? One is out of a fairytale, and the other is from the local sports bar.
Now THAT'S an apple pie 😍 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/176HTiANqj
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 17, 2020
Reynold started with apple pie as a concept and ended up with a terrarium. #MasterChefAU
— Sir Kumference (@sirkumference) May 17, 2020
What have you made?
— Amy (@heapzgood) May 17, 2020
Reynold: Created a small universe with its own laws and economy #MasterChefAU
Predictably, the judges lose their minds about Reynold’s “apple” “pie”. Melissa says he has “distilled the soul of an apple pie into something that is ephemeral art” and Jesus, that is some review.
IT’S TIME FOR REYNOLD AND SARAH. Sarah Clare has tried to bribe the judges with beer.
Historically, this has not gone well for contestants on this show. First Hayden with the beer and store-bought corn chips. Then Chris’ ill-fated saag paneer… But, if I was competing against Reynold’s candy dream world with classic buffalo wings I guess I would pull out all the stops too.
ITALY OFF: Khanh’s seafood pasta beats Sarah Tiong’s tortellini.
And in celebration, here he is being extremely horny about tonight’s episode:
Pump harder rey rey #MasterChefAU
— khanh (@khanhong) May 17, 2020
FRANCE OFF: Simon’s chicken and veg beats Callum’s prawn bouillabaisse.
JAPAN OFF: Emelia’s tofu salad beats Laura’s pork and chicken tsukune.
VIETNAM OFF: Jess’ rice noodles with prawn beats Tessa’s banh xeo.
Tracy’s blue swimmer crab is great! She’s safe, and Hayden’s cooking in the second round.
The judges like all of Hayden’s dish except for the fact that the major component of it is literally not cooked. Andy says that the balance of the broth is “the best work that you’ve done so far”.
All the good comments that old mate Haydos gets sound like when a high school teacher over-praises a failing student because they got 52% :(
Looks like this one’s a free pass for Tracy.
That would be a TWIST.
My girlfriend thinks I have killed the judges #masterchefau
— Hayden Quinn (@hayden_quinn) May 17, 2020
Poor Hayden...
Hayden: Reece and Brendan really liked my wantons last night
— Fiza Zali (@fizawanders) May 17, 2020
Reece and Brendan: OH SHIT OH SHIT WE WERE JUST BEING NICE #MasterChefAU
It could be worse though. At least he’s not up against Reynold.
Sarah chopping up celery while Reynold was blowing up the sugar ball #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/9mntzjmkSu
— Tas Mavridis* (@TasMavridis) May 17, 2020
Uh oh. Hayden is very enthusiastic and happy about his dumplings, but the first feedback is “mine was raw” (not good feedback).
Tracy and Hayden are up next. Also it’s only just occurred to me that this whole challenge is really an extension of the judges’ obsession with “BROTH-OFF” etc etc. How long until Jock screams “CHINA-OFF” or “FRENCH-OFF”?
Reece wins for having the most-Spanish not-Spanish dish!
It’s time to taste!
The “battle of the buddies” is first! Reece and Brendan furiously compliment one another as they walk to the judges.
Brendan’s dish is delicious, but it’s not super Spanish.
You can make us these any time, @brendan_pang 😍 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/BGQf9B9UbW
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 17, 2020
Reece’s creme catalan is also well done, BUT … the creme is much more French creme brulee and the compote and shortbread is kind of English. Globalisation babey!
The cook is over! Everyone is staring forlornly at their dishes, even though they all look incredible. Reynold’s “apple pie” looks like a snowglobe of a city constructed of glittering sugar. When I look into it, I see my great grandmother smiling serenely.
Andy wanders over to Sarah and says her celery - literally just cut up on a plate - looks pretty good. Haha ok.
Everyone is so disappointed! They hate it!!
All three judges sprint over to Reynold’s bench so they can glean some of his genius. “There is no room for error,” he says, already apologetic about the physical impossibility of failing them.
Reynold pulls a Reynold
Reynold is blowing sugar into the shape of an apple for his apple pie - an extremely casual and normal thing to do. Reynold is disappointed with his unacceptable trash creation. Meanwhile, Jock’s jaw is on the floor. He’s bragging to the other judges about the sight he had the honour of momentarily beholding.
“If I blow any more it’s just going to burst!” Reynold says.
Is anyone else finding the dialogue really sexual tonight or is it just me in the 8th week of isolation?! #MasterChefAU
— Jake Lee Murnane (@jonnyvain) May 17, 2020
Just popping in here to document the moment Melissa fed herself a rice noodle in the same way a Roman emperor is fed grapes.
Reynold says he wants to do something “very theatrical” with his apple pie which, for him, is an act of war. He is sprinting at warp speeds around the kitchen, lapping the contestants physically as well as metaphorically.
Reece is ditching his rhubarb compote because Jock has successfully undermined his confidence in Spanish food. He’s subbing in fig compote instead.
Spanish food is seafood, smoked meats and of course the whole snack himself, Rafael Nadal #MasterChefAU
— Jessica (@miss_jess) May 17, 2020
While Reece explains this to the camera, he calls Brendan “one of my best friends” which ouch, poor Brendan... Downgraded to the second-tier on national TV. Do you reckon Reece has picked Brendan as one of the five people allowed in his house yet, or nah?
Brendan is making prawn, potato and quail egg parcel with brick pastry. Reece is making a creme catalana with rhubarb compote. Jock is not sold on cumin, brick pastry and rhubarb as particularly Spanish ingredients.
Considering the judges were looking forward to cheeseburgers from the US, Brendan should probably just make a paella?
The real winner is the friends we made along the way
Everyone is so sad to be cooking against each other - especially Brendan who calls Reece his “best friend”! The love the contestants all have for each other is so pure.
Also, if you missed it on Tuesday, I insist you watch this video of Jess helping Amina in the ad break. So sweet!
Nothing is stronger than friendship in the #MasterChefAU kitchen! 💪 💖 pic.twitter.com/eF1tQ5rct7
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 12, 2020
Shoutout to Sarah Tiong for standing strong against Jock’s doubt!
“Surely you’re out of your comfort zone here…”
“Nah, I’m actually great at my job and am literally radiating positivity in this and every moment on this show.”
Reynold is making “his own take” on an apple pie, which I assume means it has 72 elements and also functions as a working clock.
Sarah Clare (Team USA) is making buffalo wings and I’m already looking forward to the footage of Melissa absolutely hoeing into them, sauce dripping down her elbows.
Andy struts up to his bro “Haydos” and they start laying down the greatest hits of Aussie suburban Chinese: Mongolian lamb, sweet and sour pork, lemon chicken - a variety of meats with a neon glow which are served at restaurants where you can also order an “Aussie” steak and chips. (These places rule btw).
Hayden is making pork dumplings, and if they don’t also come with free prawn crackers I’ll be extremely disappointed.
The first challenge: fight to the death
Tonight’s challenge: every contestant, except Poh who is safe from today’s cook, will face off against the person at the opposite end of their bench. (RIP to Sarah Clare who is competing against Reynold).
Whoever makes the best dish on each bench is safe; the loser of that cook will go on to a second round.
The first challenge is cuisine based! They have 60 minutes to produce a dish from a certain country. Here’s the quick guide to who’s cooking what:
French: Simon and Callum
Chinese: Hayden and Tracy
American: Reynold and Sarah Clare
Spanish: Reece and Brendan
Vietnamese: Tessa and Jess
Japanese: Emelia and Laura (who will be absolutely gutted she didn’t get Italian)
Italian: Sarah Tiong and Khanh
Wow! The show is addressing The Ben Issue. “Due to a personal matter, Ben has had to leave the competition and he will not be returning,” Jock says. And uh… no follow up questions, I guess. ON TO THE SHOW!!!
We haven’t been given much more information outside of the show FYI. In April, the production company told the media that “Ben Ungermann has left the MasterChef Australia competition. As this is a police matter, we will not be making further comment”. Yikes. But what if...
They really should let Amina come back now that Ben has disappeared! Only fair! #MasterChefAu
— Emma Ford (@fordemmak) May 14, 2020
We’re on! And the teaser for tonight’s episode features many stony-faced contestants saying “no no NO NO NO” over and over again, peeking under cloches, desperate to find Katy Perry under one of them.
Hi everyone! Welcome back to another MasterChef liveblog, in which we’re all limping defeatedly towards the end of TWIST WEEK.
If you missed any of the absolute madness, here’s a quick rundown. The highs have been very high, and the lows have been, as one person put it, “a massive fuck you”.
It was a good week for: Everyone who was blessed with Katy Perry’s chaotic presence, but particularly Poh who has won immunity after nearly murdering the pregnant pop star with some spicy duck rendang, and Rhys who was ordained as “the tits”.
When @katyperry calls your dish 'the tits', you know you've made it 😂 🙌🏼 #MasterChefAU @reece_hignell pic.twitter.com/sxJrJxu7Os
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 14, 2020
I can’t believe I went off about Melissa being the best MasterChef judge one day before this happened. This show is evolving into something beautiful and completely bananas.
After this #MasterchefAU ep, I want an entire reality show where gay contestants must complete intricate tasks while camp icons playfully distract them. Can the queer surgeon complete the bypass with Cher whispering in their ear? Etc.
— Michael Lucas (@MrMichaelLucas) May 14, 2020
It was a bad week for: Ben, who has finally mysteriously disappeared. But, more importantly, AMINA who has been eliminated from the wholesome home-cooking show because she couldn’t flawlessly execute a complex 100-page recipe for a mango passionfruit future-pavlova from memory.
I don't know about you but watching a young mother with a heart of pure gold who loves cooking for her family brought to tears after being forced to to recreate a mirror-glazed conceptual meta-pavlova from memory didn't quite give me the warm fuzzies I was after. #MasterChefAU
— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) May 13, 2020
Twist week has been cruel and unusual, and if it makes one more person stress-cry tonight I will riot.
Tonight: All the ads are promising a “bombshell elimination” and splashing around Laura, Reynold, Sarah Tiong, Callum and Hayden as the likely losers. Pray for whoever makes this beef tartare.
The show starts at 7.30pm. Follow along with me, and send your tweets and comments through to @msmegwatson!
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