Thanks for following along with me tonight! I’m sending virtual hugs and elbow bumps to you all. I hope you feel a bit more rested for whatever is to come in the next week.
Jess crying by herself with nobody being able to hug her is a weirdly devastating portrait of this moment in history. #MasterchefAU
— Dan Hall (@danieljohnhall) May 31, 2020
It’s also worth noting this was likely filmed in that week or so where it felt like the entire world was imploding: in just a few days we went from business-as-usual to nightly breakdowns about the collapse of our livelihoods and social lives.
Many of the contestants have their own restaurants and hospitality ventures which they left to come on this show. Some are living away from their families. Emotions would have already been running high before they stepped into this high-pressure, nationally televised kitchen.
Hearts are breaking all over Australia right now 😢💔 #MasterChefAU @_jesslemon_ pic.twitter.com/xB2hzaEIJH
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 31, 2020
It’s a good reminder to go a bit easy on them from here on out (maybe Laura’s allowed a bit more pasta, as a treat).
Melissa, also visibly emotional, says that everyone would obviously love to give her a hug but can’t.
Jock enthusiastically asks for an elbow bump. This is a real throwback to the three or so days where that was a widely used and acceptable gesture.
The contestants form a guard of honour along the wall of the kitchen to clap Jess out. I think this is the best possible way of handling a bad situation.
Jess is the loser in the first ‘socially distanced’ elimination
Oh god, Jess is crying and no one can hug her. This is excruciating. Everyone is extremely upset. Sarah is crying. Brendan is crying. Now I am crying.
“Jess is one of the most remarkable human beings I’ve ever met,” Sarah says. “Completely overflowing with talent. She’s going to go far.”
This was such a shock to everyone. Love you baby j ❤️❤️ @_jesslemon_ #MasterChefAU
— khanh (@khanhong) May 31, 2020
The verdict: Brendan is safe. Callum is safe. Poh is safe. It’s down to Jess and Simon, which makes sense.
Simon’s lamb was great, but the coffee was too strong and the dish was dull overall. Jess’ concept was strong, but it tasted like red wine and orange.
Jess is going home because she missed the brief.
Oh dear sweet young Jess 😥😥 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/3a7ybFpFJy
— Brett (@ghostwhowanders) May 31, 2020
NOT JESS. Nope nope noooooo refuse to believe it. Nope not happening 💔 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/5SVqbYOUyV
— Mikayla (@mikhaig) May 31, 2020
Oh god, it’s bad news. The main ingredients are overpowered by red wine and chocolate, and the other pieces that Reece was worried about. It looks like it’s between Jess and Simon at this stage but.... it seems like we should prepare ourselves for the worst.
I regret to inform you this year has already been cancelled (for much, much, much worse reasons)
If Jess goes home 2020 is cancelled #MasterChefAU
— Lynn K. (@_lynnnnk) May 31, 2020
Everyone’s week has been hard enough. We don’t need this...
The pairing I choose today is Jess and NOT GOING HOME #MasterChefAU
— Cassandra (@casscee) May 31, 2020
On the other hand, we ABSOLUTELY need this:
I swear someone needs to make the Sarah Tiong app that can give you words of inspiration thought your workday #MasterChefAU
— Ms Dessert Junkie (@MsDessertJunkie) May 31, 2020
Jess’ carrot and raspberry dessert is the last one to be judged. This doesn’t bode well for her..
Editing making it look like Jess is in trouble. Australia to the judges: #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/ujrOwYvCOw
— The Don (@TheDon36415485) May 31, 2020
Poh’s pasta looks great! It’s so great in fact that Jock starts talking about his nonna. Poh played this perfectly.
Brendan’s “Pang Pang” chicken is next, and they love it! Andy says he forgot he was a judge (which, considering recent behaviour isn’t that remarkable). Jock says it’s “an attack on the senses”, in a good way!!! Poh was right - being attacked is actually a good thing.
Simon is up next. His lamb dish looks pretty good... But will the coffee taste come through? The music is ominous.
Andy said the lamb is cooked perfectly, the acidity is good, but… the crumb is “so hectic”. They frown a lot and say they don’t love it.
Time to taste (no ice cream, sorry Andy)!
Callum’s cauliflower is up. He tells the judges the dahl butter is something he’s made before, on New Year’s Eve when he and his wife made a six-course meal for each other (sounds like Callum is really embracing the start of his thirties).
Jock says it’s “easily the best cauliflower he’s had in years”. Everyone loves it!
Also, here’s a fun (?) fact: Jess was born in 1998!! That is truly bizarro and extremely impressive. The only thing I knew how to cook with I was 21/22 was scrambled eggs. (Very good scrambled eggs though).
TIME IS UP! Sarah leans over and simply screams “JESS” from the gantry. Same.
I am extremely worried for Jess...
If Jess gets eliminated tonight legally the show has to shut down. Sorry, I don’t make the rules 🤷♀️ #MasterChefAU
— Jessica (@miss_jess) May 31, 2020
If Jess is eliminated, I swear to god... #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/2Cgpc8gwG4
— Michael Farrer 🏳️🌈 (@MichaelFarrer92) May 31, 2020
Thinking about the possibility of brendan or jess being eliminated #masterchefau pic.twitter.com/zFoRoqDnQr
— 👁️👅👁️👎 (@beepbeep_xo) May 31, 2020
There’s never been a better time to buy a hibachi. Retailing at the low low price of $69.99 this great appliance will...
Jock tries Simon’s something something hibachi and says there isn’t enough coffee! “It needs to be front and centre,” he says, speaking of the lamb/coffee pairing, but also presumably the hibachi (which has reportedly seen a 1600% increase in sales since this season started).
Thank you for this important correction, Pris.
.@msmegwatson I think you meant pang-fully cute. #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/DufHjMm3mH
— Pris Pho (@prispho) May 31, 2020
Jess is blitzing two bowls at the same time, completely unfazed, as if the beaters are mechanical extensions of her arms. Sarah is losing her mind, screaming from the gantry. “What a gun!!!!!!!” “Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
What an angel. I hope you all have a Sarah in your life.
“For once, I’m ahead of time,” Poh says. “I don’t know how to feel.” Neither tbh.
For anyone who missed episodes this week, at one point Poh stood in front of a steaming pressure cooker for what seemed like two hours, unable to start cooking her actual dish with 12 minutes to go, faced with the reality of serving up nothing but broth to the judges after one hour of cooking.
#MasterChefAU I love Poh but she always be lookin like she’s trying to solve year 12 calculus in her head and then stabs herself with a pen out of frustration
— ALEXANDRA (@alexandrasings4) May 25, 2020
Andy thinks Brendan is playing it too safe which hmmm...
*Contestant plays it safe*
— Niccy T (@NicReality) May 31, 2020
Andy: “um, are you worried you’re playing it too safe when someone is going home today?”
*Contestant does not play it safe*
Andy: “IS NOW THE TIME TO BE TAKING A RISK ITS A GOD DAMN ELIMINATION YOU MASOCHIST” #MasterChefAU
Andy and Jock are starting to do the ol’ fake out with the contestants during cooks and I don’t like it. #Masterchefau
— Victoria (@movetheair) May 31, 2020
A clarification on the whole “Pang Pang” chicken thing: Pang is Brendan’s last name! Which I thought was the joke..
But also the dish is maybe originally known by this name?? “In the west, this dish’s name has been bastardised to ‘Bang Bang’ chicken”.
Simon has chosen the lamb and coffee pairing. He’s making the lamb with something something HIBACHI, and pairing it with a “coffee biscuit”. Jock furrows his brow so hard it propels Simon into existential chaos. “Actually, it’s a cracker?” he says, fishing for whatever word will make Jock leave.
Brendan is going with peanut butter and basil. He’s making bang bang chicken: the peanut butter is being used in a satay sauce, and the basil is going in a refreshing salad. He calls it “Pang Pang” chicken, which is painfully cute.
Jess has chosen carrot and raspberry - the pair Jock is most thrown by. She’s making a mulled wine raspberry sorbet with a carrot sphere (?).
Reece is worried about her overcomplicating the flavours because there are about 12 additional micro-elements I didn’t write here.
Poh is going with mustard and mint. She’s making tortelli di zucca, an Italian pasta dish with pumpkin and amaretti biscuits. She admits that she wants to tug at Jock’s soft pasta heart to get some extra points. Smart.
Poh then goes on to talk about how she learned this dish while visiting a friend in northern Italy who is a violin maker (save this quaint Euro-wank for Jock, Poh!!!!)
Round two: all the supermarkets have been raided
The second challenge will see the five remaining contestants cook from weird flavour pairings chosen by the judges. The judges stand in front of a series of golden cloches which hold:
- Lamb and coffee
- Basil and peanut butter
- Dark chocolate and soy
- Mustard and mint
- Carrot and raspberry
It’s real “uhhh, I’ll just make dinner from whatever is left in the fridge” vibes. Proper iso life.
They need to pick one pair and make a dish that really highlights it (or “heroes” it, in MasterChef speak). They have 60 minutes.
Update: it’s Poh!
What a shock!!!!!!
.... hm
Literally no point for the cliffhanger if y'all post this EIGHT HOURS before the premiere#MasterChefAU https://t.co/dI580ges6V
— Josh 🌈 (@abangpinoy) May 31, 2020
It’s time to pick the worst dishes. These contestants will go on to cook in a second round, where the loser will be eliminated.
It’s Brendan, Jess, Callum, Simon and… an ad break. But it’s gotta be Poh, right?
The chocolate and licorice in Jess’ dish is fudgy and perfect; the basil, not so much. Andy couldn’t find the basil flavour at all. He wolfed down all his ice cream trying to get to it.
“Look at what you made me do,” he says, pointing to a clean plate while licking his lips and rubbing his little tum.
Callum’s pistachio ice cream is great, but the whole dish is not so great. There was “nothing harmonious” between it and the beetroot parfait.
Next: Jess brings up her disgusting plate of licorice-infected filth. (It looks great).
Brendan’s parsnip and wasabi ice cream gets a quick nope from Melissa. “Refine refine refine” :(((((
Simon’s molasses and peach pancakes have a lot of dramatic music around them. Jock loves the peach, but doesn’t like the molasses. Melissa says it did not come together well :(
Laura’s wattleseed and fig is another winner. “Bittersweet in the best way possible”.
Meanwhile, Reece is celebrating:
You better work bitch #masterchefau https://t.co/DZR0zgKyPF
— Reece Hignell (@reece_hignell) May 31, 2020
Sarah Tiong’s sweet corn and miso ice cream gets a signature “bangin” from Andy. He finishes the whole bowl (10 bowls of ice cream in just the first round?? He’s gonna be up all night).
Melissa beams and calls the dish “synergy” (the only time I’ve heard that word and haven’t rolled my eyes).
Jock loves Khanh’s rhubarb and bay leaf ice cream! Jock loves the vanilla! It’s all great! He’s throwing thumbs up all over the place.
Andy says to completely ignore any advice he gives in the future. Always trust yourself! Always back yourself! I love this show.
Khanh is up next and I’m extremely worried for him. They’re punishing us with an ad break, so here’s an unrelated photo of Khanh wearing a leather harness to calm your nerves.
— khanh (@khanhong) May 31, 2020
Reece’s little mandarin, tarragon, miso snowball is a hit! Andy says it’s probably the best dish he’s put up in the competition. Melissa, embracing the incredible new queer energy of this show, gives him “tens across the board”!!!!
#MasterchefAU in 2020 is effectively a ninety-minute celebration of gay and Asian energy five times a week and it’s clearly what Australian prime time has always needed.
— Michael Lucas (@MrMichaelLucas) May 26, 2020
Poh’s “not normal neapolitan” is next. Jock loves the strawberry ice cream, and doesn’t like the wasabi at all. He says she should have used creme fraiche with the wasabi instead of the strawberry to balance the big flavour hit.
Bad news for anyone with anxiety issues: Poh will almost definitely be cooking in the second round.
Andy gets his ice cream!
Tessa’s ice cream teepee is up first. Jock loves it, he’s going mad! The flavours don’t seem much on their own, but all together they create something great.
Melissa calls it “super delicious”. Andy is just thrilled the sweeties are here.
Poh is trying her wasabi ice cream and describes it as “dead” (not a word you often find on menus). She adds some more wasabi, which seems like foreshadowing of bad things to come.
Three minutes to go! Brendan is making an ice cream with parsnip, woah I think I missed that one. Doesn’t sound great.
Reece is adding a granita onto his dish. Laura is branching out with some yuzu (not from Italy).
More of this please!
The winners out of this whole thing are us, because we get to see Brendan and Reece’s beautiful friendship. #masterchefau
— Dean Nye (@Dean_Nye) May 31, 2020
Please give Australia the Brendan and Reece Masterchef spin-off show #MasterChefAU
— Karmen (@karmenlamm) May 31, 2020
Jock gets mad at Reece for using tweezers when picking his herbs. Mi scusi, Jock, this is a Covid world now. Do what you need to do, Reece.
Meanwhile, ice cream expert Andy tells Khanh that his dish is too safe: smoked rhubarb and vanilla/cardamom is too common. The gall of this very basic man critiquing something Khanh does as too basic...
“I am an ice cream fiend,” Andy screams to no one and everyone. “I WANT MY SWEETIES!!!!!!”
Tessa is making anise myrtle/beetroot and tamarind ice cream. She decides to complete the dish with some blackberries and meringue, and she says she’s going to construct it all into some kind of teepee…
I’m just realising that with a brief calling for two scoops of ice cream, there’s a high chance of us seeing another MasterChef dick and balls tonight.
Laura’s dish will include wattleseed and fig ice cream, which Melissa points out is actually quite Italian. Can’t wait to see it!
#MasterchefAU BREAKING NEWS: Photos of Laura’s ice cream dish leaks early: pic.twitter.com/DI1lUYraGE
— domeanddodders (@domeanddodders) May 31, 2020
Reynold has no right to give his views on the mere mortals’ work.
Reynold: ‘Khanh’s cardimon ice cream sounds a bit safe to me. If I were he, I would have caught a unicorn by moonlight, told it sad tales of love, collected its tears in a golden cup, and used them as a base flavour for ice cream made from edible spun glass. Sigh.’ #masterchefau
— Clifton Hill cat (@CliftonHcat) May 31, 2020
The producers really planned this one well.
rona panic shopping means the pantry is empty, and the contestants have to make up weird flavour combos from two tables of whatever’s there. very relatable. #masterchefau
— Anna Chang (@annachang) May 31, 2020
There’s 60 minutes left and Simon hasn’t thought of an ice cream yet! Jock gives him a hand by circling him and saying “tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock”, much like the crocodile helped Captain Hook in Peter Pan.
!!! Andy “lets the judges in on a little secret”: he likes ice cream. It’s his “guilty pleasure”. Omg how naughty. He enjoys a notoriously delicious and satisfying food. This is scandalous stuff.
Jess is taking a risk too! She’s doing basil and licorice (which she doesn’t even like). “I don’t like licorice at all,” she tells Jock. “I hate licorice,” she cries, throwing more and more of it into a bowl. “It is a disgusting trash food that ruins everything,” she says as it bleeds into every element of her dish.
Reece is doing mandarin/tarragon and caramelised white chocolate/miso. He’s not 100% sure it’s going to work, but he also doesn’t gleefully talk about attacking the judges so there are worse risks to take!
Khanh is making cardamom/vanilla and smoked rhubarb ice cream, which Reynold says is “very safe”. That’s true, but also it’s coming from a guy whose last dish was a tree made out of chocolate.
Poh is making strawberry and creme fraiche, and also wasabi vanilla... Jock doesn’t look sure about it, so Poh reassures him: “yeah, it ATTACKS you”. Oh ok cool.
She says she’s made this before, so that’s reassuring! But a quick Google reveals her recipe also has a two-star rating on the ABC so idk…
Round one: an ice cream challenge
Today’s elimination is over two rounds. The first: they need to make two different flavours of ice cream in one dish.
The judges need one plate each “because it’s ice cream” but also because we’ve entered the pandemic episodes and it’s now literally illegal to lick someone else’s ice cream cone.
Jock says they don’t want plain scoops of ice cream, they want “an ice cream dish”. They also only want weird and wacky ideas - no boring or predictable flavours.
Contestants have 75 minutes. The top five dishes are safe, the other five cooks are going into a second round.
Everyone sees the tables stacked with ingredients and decorated with cute ice cream cones. Reece says he’s “so comfortable to cook anything sweet” which makes sense because he’s one of the show’s #1 sweeties <3 (please send me your sweetie rankings).
Oh no, sorry I promised such good vibes tonight! I forgot it was the first social distancing elimination and no one can hug. Well, at least we have an hour or so until that heartbreak.
Hello everyone! Welcome back to another MasterChef elimination liveblog.
That sure is an odd sentence to write as my news feeds are flooded with pain and anger in the US (and elsewhere), and the systemic racism and indifference that causes it. It’s been an odd sentence to write all season actually.
But I also think it’s okay if you just need to think about competitive cooking for 90 minutes. It’s not denial, it’s rest. And rest makes you stronger for whatever it is you need to face next. Let’s briefly enter a world where the biggest problem is whether Poh’s beautiful cakes are going to get cooked in time.
If you’ve missed the last few episodes...
It was a good week for: Emelia, who won immunity after recreating something that looks like a cocktail that is also a watermelon but is actually a dense assortment of jellies and creams. Asian representation, after Thursday night’s immunity challenge (the second for the week) featured an all Asian-Australian lineup of cooks. This also came after an emotional episode in which contestants spoke about their families and their experiences of being immigrants in Australia.
It was a bad week for: Anyone who isn’t Reynold. He won the Thursday night immunity with an Alice In Wonderland-themed dish that should rightfully be in the Louvre.
Reynold's dessert has enchanted our judges and cast a spell on their tastebuds! 😍✨ #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/sV9NRHexth
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 28, 2020
I stand by this prediction:
Prediction: Reynold will win the #MasterChefAU finale by creating an ornate, delicious dessert that also just happens to be a covid vaccine
— Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) May 28, 2020
Tonight: Everyone except Emelia and Reynold are cooking in an elimination challenge based around ice cream. The show starts at 7.30pm. Follow along with me, and send your tweets and comments through to @msmegwatson!
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