But sincerely, what a journey. I learned so much. I was so grateful to be here. Just to be given the opportunity. I made so many friends, and I wish them all the best. And, of course, it was an honour to be allowed to sledge the home nation of my esteemed fellow blogger Meg Watson, who will be back next week:
Wow I’m off the @GuardianAus liveblog for one night and @helenrsullivan sledges my home nation, rude #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/7XrdyQ6JFI
— Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) May 24, 2020
Thank you for following along!
Ah, this explains all that fish wizard business.
Fairytale week! Oh how whimsical! And gay! Both kinds of gay! #MasterChefAU
— Jessica (@miss_jess) May 24, 2020
And they all devoured the king and lived happily ever after. The end.
Updated
Tracy eliminated
Reece, Emilia and Tracy are not so safe.
“There was nowhere to hide,” in Reece’s dish.
Emilia’s fish was overcooked. Her sauce was too salty.
Tracy’s fish dish is the loser though. And Tracy is eliminated.
But Melissa tells her she is a beautiful person. And Tracy says she’s learned a lot and will treasure it.
¡Triste!
Updated
Safe!
Laura is safe!
Khanh is safe!
Andy says “fish wizard” again.
Updated
“That. Fish. Is. Cooked. Perfectly,” says Jock.
Now that's what we call redemption 👏🧡 #MasterChefAU @khanhong pic.twitter.com/4p8hRvsBug
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 24, 2020
Updated
Khanh is up. He wanted his dish to be sour. Sweet. Herbaceous. He recons he was trying to be too cool last time.
“How is the fish?,” asks Andy.
Somewhere, Khanh’s mom rolls her eyes.
“Somebody mentioned pearly translucency,” says the Bloody Fish Legend.
Tracy’s dish. She drew her inspiration from the piece of fish looking like a bull’s horns. This is the cut referred to earlier as “a little devil”.
“That piece of fish is so well done it could pat its own back,” says Jock.
This was a “confused cook and it did not come together cohesively,” says Melissa, who often uses alliteration.
Melissa says the fish looks “very over”.
“Undeniably, overwhelmingly overcooked.”
“The hero of this tale is the king fish,” says the fish whisperer.
“She’d be close to the bottom,” says Jock.
Updated
Emelia’s king fish cioppino is up next.
“It’s got me absolutely terrified,” she says.
But the fish wizard likes it: “You’ve cooked that whole. And you don’t know.”
“God’s sake,” says Emelia.
Get in touch on Twitter @helenrsullivan.
Narrator of this strange tale of fish wizards, fish legends, fish whisperers and riddles: Reece’s fish was overcooked.
Reeeeeeeccccccceeee! Noooooooooo! #MasterchefAU
— Simon Hawkings (@simonjhawkings) May 24, 2020
Uh oh. The bad music plays. Is the fish dish not so swish?
“I can imagine that being a good dish,” says Jock.
Updated
Next up is Reece. Crispy skin fish belly with vegetables, a fennel vinaigrette that could at any moment be described as “verdant.”
He finishes it off.
Jock says his dish “reminds me of every fish dish in London in the early 2000s”.
“Like in a good way,” he says. “There’s no smears or squelches.”
Updated
Andy loved it. Crisp skin. Salt had a good kick.
Fish wizard says he wishes his own chefs could get such good skin.
Melissa uses the word “genius.”
Jock is mad that the whole fish wasn’t used.
Laura presents her dish to the fish wizard.
“I’m hoping my decision to break down this fish chop pays off.”
Josh Niland says it is beautifully presented.
Jock asks if Laura wants to “finish her off.”
Mel calls the dish a “looker” and a “double saucer”. And she is:
Oh my GOD now Andy is talking about “serving fish to the wizard himself.”
Two minutes to go!
Khanh is freaking out over the fish.
“Is this history repeating itself?” asks Jock helpfully.
Countdown!!!!!!!
Emelia wishes she cut her rack in half.
Laura wishes she had left her fish in tact.
WHAT TUNA IS THIS TUNA @khanhong #MasterchefAu
— Sian Gammie (@TheSianShow) May 24, 2020
Squeaky. A fish should not be squeaky.
Ten minutes to go!
Khanh says his fish is perfect.
BUT WAIT.
It being perfect means it is NOT perfect.
(This is taking me back to Khanh’s Name That Fish prevarications).
Anyway, it means the fish will ultimately be overcooked! The greatest fish crime there is.
There is talk of fish not being “squippy”??
Laura cutting her fish piece in half - #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/rGuU2r5Xtp
— Hanny Bee 🐝 (@Hanniebee852) May 24, 2020
Not all of us are mature enough not to think “fish chops” and all other things to do with fish are funny.
Things are getting weird.
All this delicious fish.. it's so lewd it's... PRAWNOGRAPHIC!#MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/JKUkP4Z2ki
— Shroomkin - Social distancing since 2014 (@shroomkin82) May 24, 2020
JOCK ASKS WHERE THE OTHER BIT OF LAURA’S FISH IS
Busted.
“He butchered it beautifully,” *holds back tears* “I’m surprised, to be honest with you, that you didn’t cook the whole piece of fish.”
DOOMED. OR MAYBE NOT DOOMED. STAY TUNED.
Tracy is speaking Spanish.
Aho blanco. Una momento. Chorizo.
But now she has to start her sauce all over again. ¡Ay no!
Laura is cutting some of her fish off and setting it aside. Something tells me this will be a decision looked upon poorly by the masters.
Khanh muttering ‘why am I doing this??’ while continuing to do this is me with like 80% of my life choices #MasterChefAU
— Lan (@thatslantastic) May 24, 2020
OPINIONS FROM THE PLEBS
If @khanhong goes home, WE RIOT !!!! #MasterchefAU
— WINA GRANDE ♛ (@wina_gnil) May 24, 2020
What are you doing Khanh? 😲 #MasterChefAU
— Kate Barkley 🐕 (@MissKateBarkley) May 24, 2020
@khanhong you crazy MFing madlad, have no choice but to stan #MasterChefAU
— DZ (@decafdani) May 24, 2020
@khanhong cooking his elimination dish. #masterchefaustralia #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/OWK4QAibQu
— Vee (@vee2190) May 24, 2020
OPINION FROM THE KING
I thought that the whole way through 😞 https://t.co/mNReW0FZVz
— khanh (@khanhong) May 24, 2020
Khanh reveals he is making a Vietnamese tamarind broth: Canh Chua Cà
This was the very same fish dish that got him eliminated last time!
“I might be tempting fate here,” he says.
A bold move that could redeem him once and for all, or send him home in a steamy cloud of shame.
“I left things off. I burnt my fish. So many things went wrong.”
Laura goes out to the garden to get herbs. Andy and the BFL follow her. She tells them what she is making. The BFL says it sounds “very flash”. Laura calls him a gentleman.
Tracy: kingfish cutlets pan fried with chorizo sauce
Reece: chicken and butter sauce with king fish belly and potato fondant and fennel vinaigrette for a “nice mushy texture on my plate”.
Laura is making king fish in a smoked pippy sauce with finger limes and wakami oil
This is Emilia’s first real elimination and she is nervous.
“All day long I am covered in butter cream. I am baking my little cakes. That is what I love to do.”
Updated
60 minutes. One delicious fish dish. A cooking method that “does the fish justice.”
Ay me:
#masterchefau
— ALEXANDRA (@alexandrasings4) May 24, 2020
*has to identify a type of fish*
Laura: is that... raviloli?? pic.twitter.com/JdyPv6cEQ7
The king of fish breaks down a kingfish before our very eyes 👏🐟 Take notes! #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/UbTuyHo2o0
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 24, 2020
Josh Niland talks about “oceans getting pillaged”. One’s royal body is sliced into pieces. Spectacular.
A cut of fish is referred to as “a little devil”.
I'm into fish dexter FYI @mrniland #MasterChefAU
— khanh (@khanhong) May 24, 2020
The contestants choose their cuts of the king. Eat the rich etc.
In round two, the contestants will cook a king fish.
Josh Niland sharpens his knives.
“Eughgh that’s good to watch,” says Jock as everyone proceeds to be extremely serious about fish, a fundamentally unserious animal.
Anyway, back to his Royal Highness, King Fish.
The Fish Whisperer gives the King a shank, like a lamb he says.
“You can see the beautiful marrow in the centre and we’ve got our shank.”
It does indeed look like a shank.
“That is so cool,” says Emelia. “This man is ridiculous.”
Round one FIN; round two begins
Emelia, Reece, Khanh, Laura are all through to round two. Tracy joins them.
Let the fin begin!
Or as they say in New Zealand:
Lit the fun begun!
Updated
No that lovely fish is NOT a king fish!
Reece guesses that a fish is a sand whiting. Wrong. Laura then guesses the same thing of the same fish. Still wrong.
. @reece_hignell is all of us right now 😰 #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/UEJo3woBlu
— masterchefau (@masterchefau) May 24, 2020
Updated
Name that fish. A game show that no one wants to play. #masterchefaustralia #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/lW5dh1dlqU
— Vee (@vee2190) May 24, 2020
More feedback on the challenge:
I reckon if I played @animalcrossing earlier I would recognise more fish. FIN. #MasterChefAU #AnimalCrossingNewHorizions
— khanh (@khanhong) May 24, 2020
How could I forget:
Remember last episode when for a second it looked like Andy’s legs were on wheels?
— Sian Gammie (@TheSianShow) May 24, 2020
Toot toot!#MasterchefAu pic.twitter.com/ysRogBuEeE
Reynolds identifies a salmon.
The second round commences. Simon calls a fish “ugly,” “long,” and “eel-looking.” That fish is a ling, says Simon. Simon is correct.
On we go. This isn’t... the most fun challenge?
This is pretty stupid #MasterChefAU
— Greg Jericho (@GrogsGamut) May 24, 2020
King George Whiting. Mullet. Red Emperor.
Emelia’s fish knowledge is “almost maxed.” She compliments a fish. “It has a beautiful little yellow line,” she says. She attempts to give it a powerful name. “Is that a king fish?”
Time for an ad break.
Khanh is growing increasingly worried.
“I’m seeing salmon but it could also not be salmon. I’m seeing murray cod but it’s really small so it could also not be murray cod.”
“I’m pretending to know what I’m doing. But I do not.”
“I know this is tuna. I just don’t know what tuna this is.”
“That guy,” he says, pointing to the tuna.
“Is it yellow fin tuna?”
The fish whisperer says no.
Khanh:
Brendan identifies a garfish. Jock calls the game “celebrity name that fish”. Sarah T identifies a John Dory that caught her eye. Emelia approaches the lineup. She correctly identifies a coral trout. Khanh is worried that “all the easy fish will be gone” by the time he goes, because he is 11th in line. Reece identifies bonito. Tessa identifies a mirror dory. Flounder for Laura.
Name that fish is easy. “I name that one Brad... that one I’m gonna name Joanne... That one looks like a Lisa...” #MasterChefAU
— Captain (@dafcap83) May 24, 2020
Name That Fish with Josh Niland
Simon is the first up.
“The strategy is all about going for the common fish first,” he says. He’ll leave the ones others might not know for later.
He correctly identifies a flathead.
Callum is up next.
He points to a fish and says “pink snapper”
The Bloody Fish Legend makes this face, which Callum calls “daggers in the eyes”.
Oh, but that loveable BFL was just messing around: “That’s right mate, pink snapper.” Callum is correct.
Niland says “Taking an eyeball out of a fish and turning it into a prawn cracker was fairly controversial and a little bit challenging for some of the punters in Paddington.”
Today’s challenge takes place over two rounds, Jock tells us.
Round 1: Name that fish.
Niland rubs his fins together in anticipation.
“That’s a lot of weird ones, too,” says Reynold.
The fish’s eye gleams. Emelia’s eye gleams.
“There’s only eight fishes I feel very confident about,” she says.
Never fear, because waiting behind the doors is “a Bloody. Fish. Legend,” says Andy: Josh Niland of the restaurant Saint Peter and the sustainable fishmonger, The Fish Butchery.
Niland went to school with Andy. Andy calls him “the fish whisperer himself.”
It's a fish dish
We’re at the top thirteen. Jess has immunity. Everyone else is in their black aprons.
Jock reminds us of the stakes:
Reynold made a lot of sacrifices. Callum’s family is home in South Australia, including a little baby. Emelia put her business on hold to be here. They’ve all put their lives on hold for one reason or another. But they’re all here to win.
The challenge is revealed. It is cold, wet, and looking at the contestants: it’s a fish dish.
The twelve chefs cooking tonight (Jess has immunity):
Summary
Hello, Helen Sullivan here – I’m filling in for the Master MasterChef blogger Meg Watson. Get in touch on Twitter @helenrsullivan with tweets, takes, questions and comments.
After a twisty little week, last Sunday’s elimination saw everyone but Poh compete in an elimination challenge, over two rounds. The first, a one-on-one fight to the death, where contestants were randomly paired against each other to battle it out over a nation’s cuisine. The second was “classic flavour pairings”, and Laura made pasta and sang a song about the ingredients: “Dooo do do do tomato and basil.” The judges liked the dish.
Tessa was declared safe. Sarah C and Hayden were flummoxed by beetroot and horseradish. Hayden went home.
This week:
Monday. The contestants split into yellow and pink teams, with besties Brendan and Reece again competing with one another, this time as team captains. There was a bit of banter:
Reece (pink): “Are you ready to lose again?”
Brendan (yellow): “You will be eating your words shortly”. Bless their hearts.
Tuesday: Black Box Challenge
Ides chef Peter Gunn had the contestants replicate his “Black Box”, a small cube filled with wonder. The finicky box evoked sensations of “Star Wars” and “Darth Vader” but was also described as “cute”.
To me the BBC had the exact tone of this remix of the other BBC’s (the news one) theme song remixed to Dua Lipa. The “box of the day” belonged to Laura.
Wednesday: Vegan mystery box challenge.
Reece smashed it. Poh smashed it. Simon smashed it. Jess smaaa-aaashed it. All of them got immunity.
Thursday: Ramen challenge
These dishes looked looked tasty as hell. Jess and Poh won the instant noodle challenge and advanced to the next round. Jess won. Reece and Simon headed for elimination.
It was a good week for...
Instant ramen
Holy shit, tonight's #MasterchefAU focuses entirely on instant ramen – a real Sophie's Choice moment for every East Asian person, shout out to my fellow yellows tonight. pic.twitter.com/G1ziI0EL38
— Benjamin Law 羅旭能 (@mrbenjaminlaw) May 21, 2020
Jess:
Talented ✅
— robert. (@FierceRobert) May 21, 2020
Beyond her years ✅
Helps out her competitors ✅
Gorgeous inside and out ✅
How can you not love Jess #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/xy0DFGEqCz
Jess and instant ramen (and vegan food and comfort food). Jess was the first contestant to win weekly immunity twice. The judges said her comfort food – red duck curry with roti canai – was “genius”.
It was a bad week for...
On Tuesday Sarah C. was felled by the Black Box Challenge. Melissa called her a “Brilliant, Bright and Beautiful contestant”. Bummer, buh-bye.
It was a good-bad week for...
Sarah T., who generally thrived, but struggled with the Black Box Challenge. Her fans were there to catch her though. Laura tried to hug Sarah with questions and it did not go well:
Can’t get over Laura going up to Sarah Tiong and bombarded her with questions while she looked visibly upset and her response afterwards was “I’m going to hug someone else”. The attention can’t always be on you #MasterChefAU
— Joanne Fassbender (@DanseDarjeeling) May 19, 2020
me when I see Sarah Tiong, who is always so positive and an actual angel to the other contestants, struggling #MasterChefAU pic.twitter.com/fMPy8rzZoB
— Isha Bassi (@Isha_Bassi) May 19, 2020
Updated
