That Mary J Blige has been through some troubles in her life is well known; it's what makes her an icon of strength and survival to so many women. That she still seems to be going through those troubles on stage at Wembley is a little more unsettling.
"Why we got to almost kill ourselves to be thin for other people, why we got to pull our hair out dying it, perming it?" she asks, as an introduction to Down and Out, a song about the troubled life of Mary J Blige. Coming from a black woman with waist-length, chemically straightened and extended blonde hair, the question is intriguing. But the deal with Mary J is that she is always working through the same problems as her fans; that's why they can relate to her. "So sick and tired trying to please everybody, so sick and tired," she mutters at the end of the song, closing her eyes and looking down, shaking her head. Her wound feels horribly fresh.
By the time the queen of hip-hop soul introduces Father in You, explaining how growing up without a father messed up not only her childhood but also her adult life, her wound has only grown.
A photo of a muscular man cradling his baby appears on the big screen, Athena-style. "We need you, Daddy," Blige sings, her face screwed up tight, her body bent over double as if seized by appendicitis of the soul. "Look what you do, Daddy, when you leave us - you mess us up," she cries out to the audience, before declaring that, actually, God has fixed her "mentally, spiritually and physically" and that she is not dwelling on the past. It's tempting to suggest that God has not done a good job. "I may seem successful, but am I?" she asks later. The audience shout that yes, she indeed is. "But am I?" she keeps asking, with deep concern.
At one moment a random picture of some luggage appears on the screens - perhaps it's the emotional baggage Mary J was charged extra for at Heathrow. Her incredible vocal skills are effortless, but this is obscured by how much effort she makes. It's like watching a Jerry Springer show, except the presenter is also the only guest, and she looks terribly alone up there. By the end of the show, she is wiping real tears from her eyes.
