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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Suzanne Wrack

Mary Earps: ‘It’s been a tough season. I felt like the punching bag at times’

Mary Earps
Mary Earps says: ‘There’s been a lot going on, a lot I haven’t spoken about. I just need some time for myself.’ Photograph: Charlotte Tattersall/MUFC/Manchester United/Getty Images

Mary Earps is upbeat, she is always upbeat, but she is also tired. You can feel it and you can see it. The season has been a long and gruelling one, ending with the highest of highs – lifting a first FA Cup with Manchester United at Wembley – and the lowest of lows: losing 6-0 on the final day of the Women’s Super League season to allow Chelsea to be crowned champions at Old Trafford. “There’s been a lot going on, a lot that I haven’t spoken about, and now I just need to take some time for myself,” Earps says. “That’s kind of where I’m at.”

The season also had a difficult beginning, with Earps’s future at United in doubt and speculation swirling following defeat by Spain in the World Cup final, both only ending when she signed a one‑year extension. Now the speculation is beginning again. Earps knows the question is coming. She sighs and gives a knowing smile, but she also wants to be honest.

“I haven’t made a decision yet,” the 2022 and 2023 Fifa Best women’s goalkeeper says. “I’m trying to not make an emotional decision. I spent the first few months of the season being pretty upset about things that were happening behind the scenes. There were things being said about me out there that weren’t true. I vowed to myself, when I took some time to myself at Christmas, that whatever my future holds, I want to make a decision where I’m not emotional about it.”

Now is not the right time to be making big decisions either. The impact of the defeat on Saturday is still evident. “It’s hard to answer [questions about my future] off the back of the weekend, because it’s still pretty raw,” she says.

“I’ve been really clear with the club about what I would like to achieve with the rest of my career, and I’ve asked for some assurances from them of what their ambitions are. So, when I hear back from the club and have some certainty about what that future looks like, then I think I’ll be able to make a decision. It’s kind of up to them in that regard. I joined the club to never leave, but we’re in the situation that we’re in and I just want to be happy.” Her club finished fifth in the WSL table this season, following second spot in the 2022-23 campaign.

Earps wants to be happy, and she wants people to be happy. The 31-year-old is speaking to the Guardian from a community coaching event in Manchester, in conjunction with the digital bank Chase and each of the home nations’ Football Associations, to promote a programme that will provide fully funded access to 2,900 introductory coaching qualifications and 85 professional coaching bursaries to individuals from low-income backgrounds.

“I want people to do whatever makes them happy,” Earps says. “The most important thing is that you give people an opportunity to do it if they like it. You look at the situation, the cost of living crisis that we’re in, it is a massive problem.

“I wanted to be involved in this because I want to work alongside people that align with values that are similar to mine. That’s what you spend your life doing, trying to find your people or your place in the world. And, for me, diversity and inclusion is a huge part of who I am and what I believe in.”

Earps is not a stranger to coaching. “I had my own very small version of what I like to call a goalkeeping school, goalkeeping academy,” she says. “It was just fantastic to give the kids that chance to develop their skills and be in an environment where goalkeeping was important. That was hugely rewarding. Whether I’ll get back into that, I don’t know. I don’t know what the future holds just yet. I’m hoping to add a few more trophies to the cabinet first and then I’ll see what happens. But I’m definitely not closed off to going back to the idea. For a long time, I wanted to run a really, really big school, so we’ll see what happens.”

Having worked under several different coaches in her career, including the four-time Fifa Best women’s coach of the year Sarina Wiegman, Earps knows what a good coach looks like. “The biggest thing is that they care about the person more than the player,” she says. “People say that but maybe they don’t really grasp … it’s a huge responsibility to be a coach – you’ve not just got the career of a player in your hands, but you’ve also got how they feel as a person. Your identity as an athlete is heavily linked to your identity as a person.

“It’s a big thing to have someone’s careers, hopes and dreams and how they feel about themselves, potentially their whole self-esteem, in your hands. I think that power can be so beautiful, you end up building such an incredible friendship with these people as well, because they end up seeing your struggles, your pain, but also your high moments. You can’t have highs without the lows, unfortunately, but it also makes the highs a lot sweeter and when you’ve got supportive people in your corner, whoever that may be, it just makes it so much, so much better.”

Being surrounded by children at the community coaching event is a good distraction from recent lows for Earps, but the frustration lingers. “It wasn’t great. It wasn’t really very enjoyable, to be honest,” she says of the 6-0 defeat on Saturday. Coming a week after the FA Cup triumph is no excuse either. “I just don’t feel like we should have performed like that.

The Cup final was special. It’s hard to always know how honest to be, I feel like it’s hard to connect with that now because of what happened at the weekend. It’s hard to disregard that last game, the way that it happened, at Old Trafford, at home, the manner of the defeat.

“So, [the Cup final] feels so long ago. I keep seeing people for the first time since and they keep congratulating me and it doesn’t quite feel that good yet. At the time it was brilliant. To win a trophy for a team I’ve been with for five seasons was really special, at Wembley, amazing place. At the time it definitely felt really good. Hopefully when the disappointment and the hurt of how we ended the season and our league campaign in general has sort of worn off, I’ll be able to connect with that a little bit more.”

The season is over and there is now a little time before Earps joins up with England before their back-to-back Euro 2025 qualifying fixtures against France on 31 May and 4 June. “I’m going to take a little bit of time to reflect on myself,” she says. “It’s been a tough season. I felt like the punching bag at times. I’ve tried to keep my head down and keep going and be the person and the player that I would like to be. As the saying goes: ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going.’ It’s been hard. I’m tired. And, I know that I’ve given my heart and soul this whole season.

“It’s hard, sometimes, to accept that you can’t, that it wasn’t good enough, that you couldn’t change or influence things the way you would have liked to – that’s what I’m trying to reflect on. I’m not really big on pity parties and it’s always hard to know how honest to be, because then people just think: ‘Oh, violins are out.’ It’s not that, it’s just my genuine feelings. Footballers are people, and I just need a bit of time, I think.”

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