Name: Martin Freeman.
Age: 43.
Appearance: Everyman. A little bit like every man you have ever met. So perfectly Everyman that he almost defeats the purpose by being eye-catchingly ordinary.
That’s a conundrum. Isn’t it, though?
Is that why he’s in the news? No, he’s in the news because he has starred in a Labour party broadcast proclaiming his belief in Labour’s values – “community, compassion, decency; that’s how I was brought up”.
Ah, I see. Was he persuasive? He was very good. But not everyone was convinced, no.
Such as? The Daily Mail.
You don’t say. I do say.
And what does it say? It says Freeman is not a Labour voter.
Do not tell me Freeman is a secret Tory supporter. It will ruin my faith in humanity and Sherlock. I will not survive it. No, it claims he is a former supporter of Arthur Scargill’s far-left Socialist Labour party, which was set up in opposition to New Labour, and that Freeman said he would not be voting for the latter in the 2005 election.
I knew he wore all those donkey jackets for a reason. Hurrah! I think that’s more to do with his mod-love, but the point that he is not a Tory still stands. But he is a millionaire, the DM notes.
Do you have to be a greedy, selfish, rightwing twat to be a millionaire? I mean, I know it’s likely, but is it mandatory? No.
OK then. And he is reported to send his son to private school.
You can do that and still vote Labour. In the history of human hypocrisy, being unable to sacrifice your child’s life chances on the altar of political ideology will probably merit nary a footnote.
Vote them in, in the hope that they will rebalance and un-ruin the school system. Mm. Also, the Daily Mail points out that his long-term partner, Amanda Abbington, went bankrupt two years ago over an unpaid tax bill.
People make mistakes. Presumably she wasn’t routing herself through Luxembourg and setting up shell Abbington supply companies all over the place? No. I think it’s more that it is suggesting that Freeman – allegedly worth £10m – should have paid it for her. Though she has paid it back since.
How soon is 7 May? Not soon enough.
Do say: “Vote Labour – the least worst thing.”
Don’t say: “Vote Tory – the least, worst thing.”
