'One day Mr Demichelis got a job as a footballer …' sniggers Alex MarshPhotograph: Photomontage'Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into,' guffaws Will BucklandPhotograph: Photomontage'I'm not even sure Steven Seagal could give him the boot up the backside he needs,' Bones McGrathPhotograph: Photomontage
'Heroic Martin Demichelis steps out of Vincent Kompany's shadow after angry giant stomps down the tunnel,' chortles Chris ReillyPhotograph: Photomontage'Demichelis enters the Grand National to make sure he wins a double this season,' hoots Ged ParkerPhotograph: Photomontage'The slightly fishy Dr. M. Chelis made sure to erase the worst blunders and replace them with highlights of proper defenders,' parps Colin McArthurPhotograph: Photomontage
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