Despite his rise to fame through reality TV and success in the showbiz world, Mark Wright has always been envious of his younger brother.
The former The Only Way Is Essex star has presented in LA, become a radio host and appeared on Strictly Come Dancing - but he has admitted there was always something missing.
His father Mark Senior was incredibly proud of his success, but the TV personality believed his brother's football career brought his dad more joy.
Mark was destined to become a top level player, but fate intervened and a combination of complacency and nerves meant he fell down the leagues before giving it all up to head into showbiz.
While his brother Josh went on to have a fantastic career as a professional footballer at clubs such as Millwall and Leyton Orient, leaving Mark to dream of what could have been if he had stuck at it.
"Every time I watch him I sit in the stands thinking, 'I wonder if I could have done this'," he explained on BBC documentary Mark Wright: The Last Chance.
"I see my dad and my grandad looking on smiling at him and proud. My dad loves what I do but he doesn’t love anything more than what my brother does.
"And I never got to show him the full story of where I could have done so this is me bringing that back and trying to rewrite where it started."
Mark started his career at West Ham United and Arsenal before becoming captain of the Tottenham Hotspur youth team, playing in the reserves alongside big names such as Jamie Redknapp and Helder Postiga
But the Essex party boy threw it all away on a boozy holiday to Spain - returning back to training a stone overweight after drinking and eating whatever he liked.
He was so off the pace that even the goalkeepers were beating him in pre-season fitness drills and he never pulled it back.
"It ruined my career. I remember the boss looking at me going, 'What have you done?'," explained Mark.
"I realised I had messed up. Didn't want to face my family or friends. I was embarrassed.
"I had it all. 18-years-old, going to clubs. I thought it was done. I've been spilt played for Arsenal, West Ham and Tottenham all my life. Never had to suffer when it comes to football."
Mark continued playing football while working as a stockbroker and doing nightclub promotion but was "running on fumes" travelling across Hertfordshire and Essex to play then going back into London every night.
Meanwhile, brother Josh began his football career at Charlton Athletic before rising up to the second tier of English football, playing for the likes of Scunthorpe United and Millwall.
Josh has revealed that never playing a professional game of football had been Mark's biggest regret in life.
"It's not just your ability and work rate it’s your dedication and drive to want to be the best every day, to want to stay fit, better the person next to you and keep improving.
"He came off it a little bit and if you come off it in this day it bites you and punishes you and thats exactly what happened to Mark."
Josh and Mark are as close as two brothers can be and would immediately become best friends again after a fight or row - and use their competitive nature with each other to drive on.
Last December, Mark made a massive stride towards his dream of playing professional football when he signed for Crawley Town.
And just a month later, Josh followed in his older brother's footsteps and also signed for the club they had been at as boys.
On Mark's return to football, Josh said: "Of course it's surprising, people will be looking and thinking at his age how why what. but he’s got the ability and the drive. He loves keeping fit and working out. He loves playing football which is the biggest thing.
"He's a loving caring person, as much as he wants to succeed for himself he wants others to succeed. I could sit around and talk about him for hours as he means so much to me.
"I can’t wait for him to pull on that shirt because it will be one of the proudest moments of my life."
Mark faced criticism for what some people deemed a 'publicity stunt', but insisted that he has always been a footballer rather than a TV personality.
"It’s hard for people to see past what they know me for and being a professional footballer," said Mark.
"Cause I know how I would feel if it was happening to someone else. You’d automatically think ‘What’s all this about?’.
"But I started as a footballer, I didn’t start as a TV presenter or TV personality. Those things don’t come naturally to me. Those were the hardest things I’ve had to work on.
"If someone said to me what’s your talent, which gets said a lot, I’d say football."
Mark confessed he was "burning himself out" and wife Michelle Keagan told him he was doing too much, but he realised it was his last shot to finally make it as a footballer.
Finally, Mark got on the pitch for the first time in the third round of this year's FA Cup in January as a 90th minute substitute in Crawley's victory over Premier League Leeds United.
Josh also made it on for the impressive giant killing - with both Wright brothers playing in a professional football match together for the first time.
However, his full match debut was cut drastically short as he was subbed off at half time in Crawley's match against Harrogate after going 3-0 down in the first 45 minutes.
To make matters worse, Mark's replacement went on to score in the 3-1 defeat - with Crawley manager John Yems admitting the team's first half was performance was "nowhere near acceptable at any professional level"
"It wasn't Mark's fault, but today it was farcical first half, absolutely farcical," confessed Yems.
Heartbreakingly, Mark didn't feature for the rest of the season due to injuries but worked his way back to full fitness.
Now Mark's professional football career is over as it was confirmed this week he is one of six players leaving the club.
Josh will continue playing for Crawley, while Mark carries on with his other jobs, including the brothers' new fitness platform Train Wright.
Announcing his exit on Instagram, Mark wrote: "After 8 months of an incredible time and memories I won’t forget, I want to thank everyone at @officialcrawleytownfc for giving me the amazing opportunity to do what I love one last time. Thanks to everyone for your support on this journey and for those that watched the doc on the BBC.
"It was only ever going to be a short run due to my other work commitments, which I must admit I found very challenging, juggling everything together but we made it work and what an incredible experience it was, the fact I got to do this with my brother @joshwright4444 too is something as kids we could have only ever dreamed for.
"Injuries got in the way of fulfilling this journey to its full potential, but the fact I even had another taste of the beautiful game, will be something I’ll never forget. Another life goal."
