NEW ORLEANS _ This city has always been a lovely place for a funeral.
The mourners acknowledge their grief, certainly, but then they celebrate the joys of a life well-lived. If you're lucky, you get a band.
All the Eagles needed was a band.
The Saints scored 17 points in the first 17 minutes, 53 seconds of Sunday's interment. The Eagles' season died a quick, comfortable death at 5:15 p.m. CST. They were buried three hours later, 48-7. They fell to 4-6.
Four days early, these birds are cooked.
It happened in an old dome where the decibel level tops out around 105, which is like playing football next to an active table saw. It came at the hands of the highest-scoring offense in the NFL and the league's most efficient passer, Drew Brees. It was relatively predictable, but, still, strikingly ugly.
Brees had nothing to do with Carson Wentz underthrowing Nelson Agholor on the Eagles' third possession _ a ball so badly delivered that Marshon Lattimore, the cornerback on the other side of the field, came all the way across to intercept it. Brees had nothing to do with Wentz taking his eye off the third-down snap that he bobbled, which ended the Eagles' first possession of the third quarter.
That was all Wentz's fault. He played the worst game of his season when the Eagles needed him to be his best. He knew what was coming.
"This has to be our most perfect game," said cornerback Sidney Jones.
Even their best would have been too little.
Because, by the time the Saints finished their first three possessions _ field goal, touchdown, touchdown _ the Eagles had taken two more casualties. All-Pro center Jason Kelce's elbow and rookie safety Avonte Maddox's knee had called it a day, and maybe a season. That made seven projected frontline players who missed Sunday's game: running backs Jay Ajayi and Darren Sproles; defensive backs Rodney McLeod, Ronald Darby, and Jalen Mills; and receiver Mike Wallace. They then lost backup cornerback Rasul Douglas to a knee injury at the end of the third quarter, and linebacker Jordan Hicks to a knee injury in the fourth.
That's just too much attrition, folks. "Next man up" only works when you have the right men in waiting. Nobody had this many men.
To their credit, at the trade deadline the Eagles tried to replace Wallace with Golden Tate. To their discredit, they have largely ignored him. He has seven catches in his two games.
Some of those injured players might return. None will matter. It's over.
After a home loss to a decrepit Dallas team last week, and after this big, easy embarrassment, the Eagles have no realistic chance to play a single game in January, much less defend their first Super Bowl title. The math doesn't look awful, even with six games to play. They're only two games behind the Redskins, who on Sunday lost quarterback Alex Smith to a Thiesmann-like broken leg (33 years later, to the day), and also lost to the Texans. They're only a game behind the Cowboys, but after the Eagles resuscitated America's Team at Lincoln Financial Field on Sunday Night Football, the Cowboys went and won again, this time at Atlanta. Even the Giants won Sunday, over the Buccaneers, who beat the Eagles in Game 2.
The Eagles face the Giants on Sunday. Who ya takin'?
Because this isn't about mathematics. Not at this point. It's about personnel.
The team was built around tackles Lane Johnson and Jason Peters, but each played Sunday on a bad leg, and Peters' biceps is torn. And now, Kelce.
The defensive backs were most concerning unit entering the season. Now, they're a parody of a defensive backfield. They started Sunday's game without starters McLeod and Darby, whose knees are shredded, and Mills (foot injury). They finished it without Jones, who played a few snaps before his hamstring flared up again. They tried to compete with the unrelated Sullivans, Tre and Chandon, practice-squad projects now pressed into service, similar to Cre'Von LeBlanc, whom they claimed off waivers Nov. 5. They re-signed De'Vante Bausby, who was out of a job, to replace Darby. They've tried to get by with well-worn safety Corey Graham,
Consider: For the Saints' fourth touchdown, Michael Thomas ran from the 23-yard line straight to the left pylon. No moves. No trickery. On his way, Thomas sped past Douglas, which is not uncommon in Douglas' world. Thomas arrived at the pylon the same time as the ball, but just before Graham. This was made possible because Thomas is fast, while Douglas and Graham are not.
The desperation of the situation seemed more obvious to detached observers than it seemed to Doug Pederson. Known for his carefree, analytics-fueled decisions to go for it on fourth down, Pederson played it safe at the end of the Eagles' first possession. He punted on fourth-and-1 from his own 24. He then punted on fourth-and-8 from the Saints' 49. The Saints replied with a field goal, then a touchdown.
Neither of those was Pederson's worst moment.
With 10:05 to play in the third quarter, the Eagles had to call timeout. They only had 10 men on the field.
They were on offense.
