It would probably have been a lot more efficient for Donald Trump to pile up $50 billion on the White House lawn, pour some gasoline over it, and set it ablaze. At least that way, the money might have provided some light and heat to Americans, and everyone loves a bonfire.
But, sadly, we live in a world where this gargantuan sum of money has been spent on an utterly embarrassing war that’s cratered the military reputation of the United States, ruined diplomatic relations that have taken decades to build and, of course, needlessly killed thousands of innocent people.
Now, in one of the most humiliating climbdowns in America’s history, Marco Rubio has confirmed that the administration’s new objective is simply to return things to the way they were before the war.
Marco Rubio says the goal of the war in Iran is now to restore it "back to the way it was" before Trump started the war in Iran pic.twitter.com/G1E9qyxMc4
— Headquarters (@HQNewsNow) May 5, 2026
“Our preference is for the strait to be opened, to the way it’s supposed to be open, back to the way it was. Anyone can use it, no mines in the water, nobody paying tolls. That’s what we have to get back to.”
That’s literally what we already had before you numbskulls attacked Iran and they closed it – as everyone with a brain was telling you they would do!
*womp womp*
True
— Dipu (@dipu412) May 6, 2026
The United States is also seeking an assurance from Iran that it will no longer try to develop nuclear weapons. Firstly, there’s still not a shred of evidence that they were trying to do that before the war (in fact, there was a religious fatwa against doing so).
Secondly, under the Obama administration, Iran had already firmly agreed not to develop nuclear weapons in exchange for economic sanctions being lifted… an agreement that Trump tore up in 2018!
So, in summary, Donald Trump has hugely weakened America’s standing on the international stage, the military is a laughing stock, his administration’s diplomatic skills are a joke, the skyrocketing price of oil is hitting every American in the wallet, and zero strategic goals are even close to being achieved.
So yeah, let’s just put things back the way they were and try to forget this debacle ever happened. Shame about that elementary school of exploded schoolgirls, but pobody’s nerfect, right?
Great work, Mr President. You’ve done more to harm the United States than all its enemies could hope to do in their wildest dreams.
