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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Rob Smyth

Manchester United 1-0 Wolves: Premier League – as it happened

Manchester United's Raphael Varane heads the home side into the lead against Wolves.
Manchester United's Raphael Varane heads the home side into the lead against Wolves. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/Reuters

Will Unwin’s match report has arrived, so I’m away to bed. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

Updated

Bruno Fernandes speaks to Sky Sports

No, we’re not relieved. It was important to start the season with a win, and we showed great fighting spirit. It wasn’t our best game – we know that – but we did the most important thing by winning the game.

Wolves have quality. We didn’t know what to expect [tactically] because of the change of manager. It was about adapting on the pitch. At times we pressed well but we should have been more aggressive at times.

At times we were a little bit rushed on the ball and our timing on the counter couldn’t have been better. It wasn’t a perfect game but we won.

[On the goal] It’s the kind of movement we practise in training. Obviously we don’t train for Rapha to be in the box! [Wan-Bissaka] made a great movement, I had to find him in behind the defenders, and he made a great cross to Rapha.

Starting with a win gives you confidence. We have to be ready for the next game [Spurs away]. It will be a difficult one, as always in the Premier League.

Statgasm alert Wolves had 23 shots, which apparently is the most by a visiting team at Old Trafford in the Premier League since 2005.

Updated

More on the Wolves penalty appeal. If it was a defender who missed the ball and then headed Kalajdzic’s face, I don’t think many people would appeal for a penalty. Does that matter? Should it matter? I don’t know about you but I feel like, since VAR was introduced to make football simpler, my understanding of the laws has steadily diminished.

“I know you will get a lot of people saying, ‘Typical Utd getting the decisions’,” says Samuel Campbell, “but Spurs got away with a similar one yesterday when Vicario came steaming out of his goal. It should be a foul but for some reason keepers get away with it all the time.”

Unless the attacker is Lionel Messi. I must check the laws to see if it matters whether the ball stays alive. In this case it did, which certainly doesn’t reduce the case for a penalty. But as you say, a lot of keepers do get away with such challenges.

Updated

Gary O’Neil was understandably fuming about the decision not to award a penalty for Onana’s challenge on Kalajdzic, but when the dust settles he’ll be thrilled with the performance of his new team. When the XIs were announced we said that, for a club that has had such a miserable summer, Wolves looked surprisingly good on paper. They looked even better on the pitch.

Full time: Man Utd 1-0 Wolves

The scoreline isn’t a surprise, yet the manner of it is almost shocking. Manchester United were outplayed by an admirable, intrepid Wolves side, who created chances at regular intervals. At times United made Liverpool’s midfield look watertight in comparison.

Raphael Varane headed United ahead against the run of play in the 76th minute, and they just above survived a late onslaught from Wolves.

Wolves might have had a penalty in injury time when the otherwise excellent Andre Onana took out Sasa Kalajdzic; the good people of Stockley Park decided it wasn’t quite a clear and obvious error.

Updated

90+9 min Another dangerous cross is held well, and bravely, by the diving Onana.

90+8 min We’ll hear a lot more about that penalty appeal I’m sure. Just after Lemina had yet another shot blocked, Neto boomed a superb cross towards the far post. Onana came, missed the ball and almost chopped his hands into Kalajdzic, flattening him in the process. I’ve never been less sure of the laws of football – thanks VAR, thanks X – but I thought the decision would be overturned.

Updated

No penalty! Hmm. I’m very surprised by that. Now Gary O’Neil is being booked for dissent.

Wolverhampton Wanderers manager Gary O'Neil reacts as his Manchester United counterpart, Erik ten Hag, looks on.
Wolverhampton Wanderers manager Gary O'Neil reacts as his Manchester United counterpart, Erik ten Hag, looks on. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/Reuters

Updated

VAR check I think this will be given, because the ball stayed in play after Onana wiped out Kalajdzic.

90+5 min: Wolves penalty appeal! Onana comes for Neto’s cross, misses and flattens Kalajdzic. This could well be given.

Manchester United goalkeeper Andre Onana takes out Wolves’ Sasa Kalajdzic but VAR decided against awarding the away side a penalty.
Out comes Manchester United goalkeeper Andre Onana … Photograph: Robbie Jay Barratt/AMA/Getty Images
Manchester United goalkeeper Andre Onana takes out Wolves’ Sasa Kalajdzic but VAR decided against awarding the away side a penalty.
But doesn’t get the ball, gets the man -namely Wolves’ Sasa Kalajdzic - instead. Ooof! Photograph: Dave Howarth/CameraSport/Getty Images

Updated

90+4 min Hwang zips outside Wan-Bissaka in the area and belts a low drive that nicks off the stretching Wan-Bissaka and flies into the side netting. And now there’s somebody on the pitch! Wolves took the corner short and had possession 35 yards out when suddenly a jaunty pitch invader appeared. They’ve been removed now.

Wolves’ keeper Jose Sa and members of security chase a pitch invader during the Premier League match between Manchester United and Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Cue Yakety Sax. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

90+3 min “With the extremely unfortunate recent rash of ACL injuries, it sure is nice to see the recovered ones come back!” says Harriet Osborn. “Wouldn’t it be beautiful to see Kalajdzic cap his return with a goal? I’m a Liverpool fan following the match solely from this MbM in my office, so I am very relaxed about Man Utd’s performance! And terribly envious of Ms. White.”

90+1 min Sancho, now playing as a false nine, buys some time by drawing a foul from Dawson. He and Eriksen have added a little bit of composure since coming onto the field. A little bit.

90 min: Another chance for Wolves! Hwang’s low cross deflects across the area towards Fabio Silva, whose shot on the turn is desperately blocked by Shaw. There will be seven minutes of added time.

Fabio Silva of Wolverhampton Wanderers shot is blocked by Manchester United’s Luke Shaw.
Another Wolves shot, another United block. Photograph: Jack Thomas/WWFC/Wolves/Getty Images

Updated

88 min Nunes’s free-kick is headed back towards goal by Kilman, and Onana makes a comfortable save. He’s had a good night.

88 min: Wolves substitution Sasa Kaljdzic, the giant Austrian forward, is on for, er, I’ll get back to you. Edit: Joao Gomes.

Updated

87 min This is a(nother) good spell for Wolves, who haven’t accepted the inevitability of an unjust 1-0 defeat. They have a free-kick 35 yards from goal. Before it is taken, Scott McTominay replaces Marcus Rashford. That tells a story.

86 min “Listening to the game on the beach in sunny Canada,” writes/boasts Liz White, “so I’m very relaxed about United’s performance.”

You and literally no other Man Utd fan on earth.

85 min At the other end, Fernandes’s teasing pass/cross is poked over the bar by the stretching Pellistri. He did well to get in front of the Wolves defender at the far post but couldn’t get on top of the bouncing ball.

84 min: Another save from Onana! After a bit of a scramble in the area, Fabio Silva’s snapshot on the half turn is kicked away by Onana. Wolves have had some fine opportunities.

83 min: Good save from Onana! Hwang’s cutback from the byline is blocked by the sliding Shaw, but the ball runs loose and Fabio Silva rattles it towards goal from a tight angle. Onana, well positioned, deflects it round the near post.

Andre Onana of Manchester United makes a save against Wolves.
Andre Onana is determined to keep a clean sheet on his Manchester United debut. Photograph: Matt West/Shutterstock

Updated

81 min After a good run from Sancho, who has been full of purpose since coming on, Rashford has a shot blocked.

Manchester United Marcus Rashford shot is blocked by Wolves Max Kilman.
Manchester United Marcus Rashford shot is blocked by Wolves Max Kilman. Photograph: Simon Davies/ProSports/Shutterstock

Updated

80 min A chest-volley from the off-balance Hwang goes well wide.

80 min Rashford surges into the Wolves area, then gets a bit too cute and is dispossessed. The flag went up after the event, though it looked extremely close on the replay.

79 min That assist was a really nice moment for Aaron Wan-Bissaka, whose Man Utd career looked over a year ago. He’ll always be limited going forward, but he has improved so much under Erik ten Hag that it’s no longer worthy of comment when he is picked ahead of Diogo Dalot. I think that’s his first assist in the Premier League since the 2020-21 season.

Updated

78 min: Double substitution for Wolves Fabio Silva and Hugo Bueno replace Matheus Cunha and Rayan Ait-Nouri.

77 min: Man Utd substitution Facundo Pellistri replaces Antony, who had one of those nights.

Fair or not, this is an excellent team goal. It came when a corner was only half cleared by Wolves. Antony fed the ball infield to Fernandes, who flipped a fine pass over the defence to find Wan-Bissaka. He stretched to lob a good cross over the outrushing Jose Sa, and Varane got in front of Semedo at the far post to head into an empty net.

Manchester United’s Raphael Varane scores their first goal past Wolverhampton Wanderers’ keeper Jose Sa.
Wolverhampton Wanderers’ keeper Jose Sa (second left) can only look on as Raphael Varane’s header flies towards the net. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/Reuters
Manchester United's Raphael Varane celebrates scoring their first goal against Wolves.
Varane celebrates. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

GOAL! Man Utd 1-0 Wolves (Varane 76)

About that unjust 1-0 defeat.

Manchester United’s Raphael Varane celebrates after heading the home side into the lead against Wolves.
Manchester United’s Raphael Varane celebrates after heading the home side into the lead against Wolves. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

74 min Wolves have been the better team tonight, particularly in the second half. It reeks of an unjust 1-0 defeat, doesn’t it.

73 min I thought Sancho might play as a false nine, as he did at times during pre-season, but he is on the left with Rashford still up front.

72 min “Wolves easily running through the middle of the park,” says Niall Mullen. “Have United thought about buying a defensive midfielder? I hear they’re all the rage.”

71 min: Chance for Wolves! Another corner for Wolves on the left. Neto’s outswinger is headed away by Varane and United break. Antony’s poor pass to Fernandes is intercepted on the edge of the area, which allows Wolves to counter the counter. Cunha again gallops 60 yards and releases Hwang on the left side of the area. His low cross deflects to Neto, who shoots straight at Onana from 15 yards.

70 min “Why oh why (57 min) was Pedro Neto allowed to get away with smacking Shaw in the face with a cross?” weeps Mac Millings. “Why was he carrying one in the first place? Surely we all remember the straight red David Beckham received for slapping Diego Simeone with a Tibetan prayer wheel?”

69 min Neto is booked for timewasting.

68 min: Double substitution for Man Utd Christian Eriksen and Jadon Sancho replace Mason Mount, who had a quiet debut, and a frustrated Alejandro Garnacho.

68 min Groans from the home fans as Fernandes’s overhit cross goes behind for a goalkick.

67 min Hwang spanks miles wide from distance.

66 min United are really struggling here. A 0-0 draw would be a bad result, but don’t rule out a defeat. Wolves have probably had the better chances.

65 min Neto’s free-kick is headed well wide by the unsighted Cunha.

64 min The two obvious changes for Man Utd are Eriksen for Mount and Martial or Sancho for Garnacho. It’s surprising to see Erik ten Hag so indecisive, because United haven’t played this poorly at home since the opening weekend of last season.

63 min Wan-Bissaka is lucky not to be booked for a poor, and entirely pointless lunge at Ait-Nouri.

63 min: Wolves substitution Hwang Hee-chan replaces Pablo Sarabia up front. He looks like he’s spent the summer in the gym.

Updated

60 min Fernandes takes a short corner to Antony, who cuts onto his left foot and floats a cross well wide of the far post.

59 min At the other end, Garnacho blazes high and wide from 20 yards. He’s had a difficult night and may soon be replaced by Martial or Sancho, mainly to get Rashford back on the left wing.

Manchester United's Alejandro Garnacho reacts during the match against Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Gah- nach- no! Photograph: Dylan Martinez/Reuters

Updated

58 min The corner bounces dangerously across the area and reaches Dawson, whose poked shot is blocked by Shaw.

57 min Neto’s cross smacks Shaw in the face and goes behind for a corner. Shaw falls face down on the pitch, then gets to his feet for the corner. I thought they might check for concussion but play is about to resume.

55 min: Chance for Wolves! Not for the first time tonight, Cunha drops deep and then charges straight through the United midfield, leaving Casemiro and Mount in his slipstream. He gets to the edge of the D and sweeps a low shot that is pushed round the post by the sprawling Onana. It was a comfortable enough save, though he did fumble it slightly.

Updated

55 min Shaw’s flat, crossfield pass finds Fernandes on the far side of the area. He cushioned a volleyed cross that deflects off Kilman and is comfortably saved by Sa.

53 min: Off the line by Dawson! Casemiro flips a nice pass over the Wolves defence towards Antony. Sa comes a long way, needlessly so, and doesn’t get there, which allows Antony to lob the ball over him towards goal. Dawson gets back to head over his own bar. It might not have been going in, although Dawson couldn’t take the risk.

Antony of Manchester United lobs the ball over Wolves’ keeper Jose Sa.
Antony of Manchester United lobs the ball over Wolves’ keeper Jose Sa. Photograph: Matthew Peters/Manchester United/Getty Images

Updated

52 min Casemiro fires a terrific angled pass into Garnacho on the edge of the area. He has a bit of space but is unusually indecisive, and by the time he gets a shot away there are enough defenders to block.

49 min: What a chance for Cunha! Nunes goes on a majestic 60-yard run to the edge of the United area. He pushes the ball outside to Neto, whose deflected cross falls invitingly for Cunha, six yards out at the far post. Somehow Cunha slaps the ball off the outside of the post. For a second it looked like Onana had saved it, but replays confirmed a pretty bad miss.

Matheus Cunha of Wolverhampton Wanderers reacts after missing a chance to score at Manchester United.
Matheus Cunha rues not putting Wolves ahead. Photograph: Robbie Jay Barratt/AMA/Getty Images

Updated

48 min Man Utd’s last home defeat in the league was against Brighton on the opening weekend of last season. Wolves’ last away win was at Southampton in February.

Updated

46 min Neto plays a slick one-two with Sarabia on the edge of the United area. His shot from a very tight angle is smothered by Onana, which leads to a Wolves corner. Nothing comes of it.

46 min Peep peep! That Martinez substitution is interesting. He’ll be on a yellow card a lot this season, and he won’t be subbed every time. Maybe Ten Hag felt that Wolves’ direct running on the counter, along with Martinez’s slight rustiness, increased the threat of a second yellow card.

Updated

Manchester United are making a half-time substitution: Victor Lindelof for Lisandro Martinez, who was on a yellow card.

Don’t be surprised if we see Christian Eriksen quite early in the second half. The thing United have lacked more than anything is composure, and he rarely leaves home without it.

On the subject of Andre Onana’s passing, have a look at this from Fabian Barthez (4m50s in the video).

Half-time reading

Half time: Man Utd 0-0 Wolves

Things that are overrated in football: stability, new players, hope. Wolves came into the new season with none of the above, yet they played superbly in the first half at Old Trafford and could easily by ahead. United have lacked composure, particularly in attack. We’ll be back in 10 minutes for the second half.

Updated

45+2 min A terrible ball goes straight to Antony, 30 yards out. He hurries it forward to Rashford, who pokes it outside Kilman and hits a shot that is again well blocked by Kilman. The resulting corner is headed wide at the far post by Varane, who probably saw it late.

45+1 min: Fine block by Kilman! Mount opens things up with a good square pass to Wan-Bissaka 25 yards from goal. He stabs it into the area Antony, whose right-foot shot on the run is well blocked by the sliding Kilman.

45 min “Greetings also from California,” writes Cathy Fisher. “Re. Mary Waltz not wanting Man U to take their players, please could Everton do the same with our players. Yours, a very upset and worried Leeds United supporter.”

44 min Pedro Neto runs 50 yards into the United area before being ushered away from danger by Martinez. Wolves have been a threat on the break. Shaw is booked for a foul on Sarabia in the build-up.

43 min Antony beats Ait-Nouri on the outside – yep – but his cross is cut out at the near post. Wolves have defended well.

43 min “Your Jackie Treehorn gambit has got me trying to shoehorn ‘That is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!’ into an email about the match,” writes Joe Pearson. “At this point, I am at a loss. I mean, Granit Xhaka’s not playing in this match, or even in the Premier League. Oh well.”

42 min When Rashford is tackled in the area, Garnacho hammers a shot from a very tight angle. It looks good but ultimately goes well wide.

41 min “Really bad first touches here from a lot of United players,” writes Ruth Purdue. “Sloppy and slow at times. They might get a reminder of standards at half time.”

39 min Semedo’s arm was by his side, and I think the ball hit his chest first anyway, so that was the right decision.

Moments later, Wan-Bissaka lunges to make a typically eye-catchingchallenge on Cunha in the area. Wouldn’t have mattered as the offside flag went up subsequently.

Updated

38 min: United penalty appeal Rashford’s header, from Wan-Bissaka’s cross, hit Semedo in the six-yard box. Rashford immediately appealed for a penalty but Simon Hooper wasn’t interested. Nor is VAR.

Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford heads the ball toward Wolverhampton Wanderers defender Nélson Semedo and it hits his arm but no penalty is given.
Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford’s header hits the arm of Nélson Semedo. Photograph: Simon Davies/ProSports/Shutterstock

Updated

37 min Rashford moves out to the left in open play and plays a fine, penetrative pass to the underlapping Shaw. His cross is fumbled by Sa and rolls towards Garnacho, who is penalised for fouling Nunes. Antony had a shot blocked straight after but a foul had been given. Nunes did well to put himself between Garnacho and the ball.

36 min United can’t generate any rhythm or attacking momentum. It might be worth swapping Rashford and Garnacho for five minutes to see if it gets Rashford into the game.

35 min Ait-Nouri is booked for taking too long over a throw-in.

34 min Wolves have been superb: organised, confident and purposeful. They certainly haven’t come for a draw, and there have been no signs of poor morale.

Manchester United’s Antony is beaten in the air by Wolves’ Matheus Nunes.
Manchester United’s Antony is beaten in the air by Wolves’ Matheus Nunes. Photograph: Jack Thomas/WWFC/Getty Images

Updated

33 min: Just wide from Cunha! Wolves could be ahead. Cunha gives the ball to Sarabia 40 yards from goal and immediately surges behind Martinez. Sarabia slips a lovely return pass through the inside-right channel, and Cunha crashes a low shot on the run just wide of the far post.

32 min A frustrated Rashford concedes a foul for a push on Joao Gomes. Wolves are giving United considerably agita.

31 min Now Cunha is down after being booted in the shin by Casemiro. Antony drags him to his feet and Cunha doesn’t really complain. Casemiro did catch him though.

31 min “Rob, greetings from California,” writes Mary Waltz. “Of all the post-Fergie managers Ten Hag seems the most in control and appears to be able to manage the normal Man Utd psychodrama. And please Mr. Ten Hag, leave my Everton alone! We cannot sell one of our youngest and most talented midfielders, Onana, and survive relegation. Don’t kick a team while they’re down in the gutter.”

29 min Joao Gomes goes down after a challenge from Mount, who tried to protect the ball and plunged his studs into Gomes’s right foot. That might have been a yellow card.

27 min Lemina is booked for a tactical foul on Garnacho.

26 min: Just wide from Sarabia! Cunha does superbly to beat Casemiro and Martinez, who is on a yellow card and can’t bring him down even though Wolves now have a three-on-two break. Cunha keeps running and then plays the ball left to Sarabia, whose low shot takes a slight touch off Varane and goes just wide of the far post.

Wolverhampton Wanderers midfielder Pablo Sarabia shot goes out for a corner.
Pablo Sarabia fires off a shot … Photograph: Simon Davies/ProSports/Shutterstock
Manchester United goalkeeper Andre Onana watches a shot go past the post.
Which United’s keeper Andre Onana is relieved to see go past the post. Photograph: Matthew Peters/Manchester United/Getty Images

Updated

24 min Lemina loses the ball to Fernandes 35 yards from goal. He slides an angled through pass towards Garnacho that is crucially cut out by Semedo.

23 min Fernandes curves the ball out to Garnacho on the left. He surges infield and then backheels the ball back outside to Shaw. His cross is blocked and the move breaks down, but that was more promising from United.

23 min We’re about 0.04 per cent of the way through the Premier League season, so let’s not fire up the hashtags and memes just yet. Even so, I suspect Erik ten Hag is displeased with this start.

22 min Garnacho gives the ball away again; he’s started very nervously.

Updated

21 min Onana drives a superb crossfield pass to Garnacho on the left. He tries to run at Semedo and is coolly dispossessed. When the ball goes out of play, Garnacho acknowledges Onana’s pass.

19 min Aside from a few nice passes by Casemiro, United haven’t got going in attack. Their tempo has been surprisingly slow; I thought they’d hit the season running.

18 min It’s pouring down again at Old Trafford, perfect cricket weather. Neto’s free-kick is helped on by the stooping Ait-Nouri and claimed easily by Onana.

17 min Pedro Neto bursts down the left and is wiped out by the sliding Martinez. A clear yellow card.

Wolves’ Pedro Neto of Wolverhampton Wanderers is fouled by Lisandro Martinez of Manchester United.
It’s clattering time! Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Updated

15 min Garnacho has tried a bit too hard in the first quarter of an hour. Understandable enough for a 19-year-old starting for Man Utd in the first game of the season. The Rashford half chance aside, Wolves’ defence has been comfortable.

14 min Ait-Nouri is lucky not to be booked for a tactical foul on the increasingly lively Antony.

14 min Erik ten Hag is already scribbling like Jackie Treehorn in his notepad. It hasn’t been a great start.

13 min United are starting to rev up. Mount’s corner is headed away to the edge of the area, where Garnacho hits a firm shot that is blocked.

11 min: Sa saves from Rashford! United haven’t started well but they almost took the lead on the break. Casemiro’s excellent first-time ball found Antony on the right. He cut inside and then reversed a pass to Rashford in the area. With Sa in no man’s land, Rashford took the shot early, but the angle was tight and Sa made a fairly comfortably block.

11 min Pedro Neto’s dangerous cutback is poked away crucially by Casemiro, with Nunes eyeing up a shot just behind him.

10 min This is an important season for Garnacho. He should become a superstar, but then I suppose we said the same about Adnan Januzaj. Last season Garnacho was electric from the bench, not so good when in the starting XI.

9 min Kilman tries to run the ball out of defence and soon realises he isn’t Franz Beckenbauer. Antony and Mount move the ball forward to Garnacho, who is well tackled by Lemina (I think) on the edge of the area.

Updated

8 min Mount’s corner is punched away unconvincingly by Sa, though it doesn’t matter because the ball went out of play before curving back in.

7 min Mount breaks promisingly into the Wolves area but is crowded out by Wolves defenders. Semedo boots the ball behind for a corner, which leads to another.

Mason Mount of Manchester United tussles with Mario Lemina of Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Mason Mount of Manchester United tussles with Mario Lemina of Wolverhampton Wanderers. Photograph: Matt West/Shutterstock

Updated

4 min Wolves are pressing high, and so far United haven’t really been able to get out. This has been a fine start from Wolves.

2 min Wolves shape is closer to 4-1-3-2, with Sarabia and Cunha up front. They’ve made a bright start.

Updated

2 min A loose ball from Fernandes goes straight to Neto 20 yards from goal. Shaw picks his pocket before things can get out of hand.

1 min Peep peep! The players take the knee, and then Bruno Fernandes kicks off.

A reminder of the teams

Man Utd (possible 4-1-2-3) Onana; Wan-Bissaka, Varane, Martinez, Shaw; Casemiro; Fernandes, Mount; Antony, Rashford, Garnacho.
Substitutes: Henderson, Lindelof, Maguire, Martial, Eriksen, Dalot, Sancho, Pellistri, McTominay.

Wolves (possible 4-1-2-3) Sa: Semedo, Dawson, Kilman, Ait-Nouri; Lemina; Nunes, Joao Gomes; Pedro Neto, Cunha, Sarabia.
Substitutes: Bentley, Doherty, Traore, Hwang, Bueno, Kalajdzic, Toti, Fabio Silva, Hodge.

Referee Simon Hooper.

Bruno Fernandes and Max Kilman, the new club captains of Man Utd and Wolves, lead their teams onto the field. It was raining heavily earlier – FFS MANCHESTER, THANKS FOR RUINING THE ASHES – but it looks nice enough now. A little brisk.

Updated

“I see that, having signed Andre Onana, Man Utd are now keen to sign Everton’s Amadou Onana,” writes Justin Kavanagh. “Perhaps the Glazers have figured out a way to save on shirt letters by buying in bulk? The terrace chant of ‘We all dream of a team of Onan-naaas…’ can’t be far behind. Or maybe angry signs: ‘Onanism: Down with this kind of thing.’”

I’ll be honest, as that email developed I didn’t foresee a sharp turn into the hitherto mutually exclusive worlds of autoeroticism and Father Ted. (And yes, I know it was down with this sort of thing. Careful now.)

There have been protests at Old Trafford tonight about both the Glazers and the potential return of Mason Greenwood. This is well worth a listen on what is a slightly confusing time for Manchester United fans.

“It still boggles me,” writes Doremus Schafer, “that a player with Pablo Sarabia’s pedigree has become a forgotten man at Wolves.”

I’m still reeling from the revelation that Nuno Gomes played for Blackburn. You’re right, though, and it’s not just Sarabia: on paper that front six looks really good, and they have Hwang Hee-chan, Sasa Kalajdzic, Goncalo Guedes and Daniel Podence on the books.

Updated

Harry Maguire is on the bench tonight; apparently his move to West Ham is far from a done deal.

Erik ten Hag talks to Sky Sports

It’s a big night for Andre Onana. Manchester United have had only two regular goalkeepers in the last 18 years; he is about become the third.

‘Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof’

Andre Onana makes his Manchester United debut tonight. Soon he could be appearing on teamsheets as An Onana.

Wolves’ new manager Gary O’Neil talks to Sky Sports

Team news: Onana and Mount start

Two of Man Utd’s three big summer signings start tonight; Rasmus Hojlund isn’t in the squad due to injury. Alejandro Garnacho is preferred to Jadon Sancho, which means Marcus Rashford will play up front.

Matheus Cunha, whose loan move from Atletico became permanent in the summer, starts up front for Wolves. Matt Doherty starts his second spell at the club on the bench. For all Wolves’ problems, there are some very talented ball-players in that XI.

Man Utd (possible 4-1-2-3) Onana; Wan-Bissaka, Varane, Martinez, Shaw; Casemiro; Fernandes, Mount; Antony, Rashford, Garnacho.
Substitutes: Henderson, Lindelof, Maguire, Martial, Eriksen, Dalot, Sancho, Pellistri, McTominay.

Wolves (possible 4-1-2-3) Sa: Semedo, Dawson, Kilman, Ait-Nouri; Lemina; Nunes, Joao Gomes; Pedro Neto, Cunha, Sarabia.
Substitutes: Bentley, Doherty, Traore, Hwang, Bueno, Kalajdzic, Toti, Fabio Silva, Hodge.

Referee Simon Hooper.

Updated

Preamble

Ten years, man. That’s how long it’s been since Manchester United started the season as defending champions, by some distance their longest drought of the Premier League era. But there is a peedie upside to such a drought. As United know from 2007, never mind 1993, the longer the wait, the greater the euphoria.

The next Manchester United coach and team to win the Premier League will become Old Trafford immortals. It’s a longshot this season, but there was plenty of evidence in Erik ten Hag’s first year to suggest he has the ability to one day join an oddly short list. United’s 20 league title have been won by only three managers: Ernest Mangnall, Sir Matt Busby and Sir Alex Ferguson. (By way of comparison, Manchester City’s nine titles have been shared among five managers.)

Ten Hag has had a decent if slightly frustrating summer. He got three players he really wanted in Andre Onana, Mason Mount and Rasmus Hojlung. But Harry Kane was unbuyable, the Glazers continue to fester like cigarette butts under the floorboards and United found it harder than most to generate money through sales.

Mind you, in comparison to Wolves, United’s summer has been an unqualified triumph. Julen Lopetegui, who made Molineux a fortress in the second half of last season, did one last week and was replaced by Gary O’Neil. Wolves have already sold the spine of the team that excelled when they first returned to the Premier League.

They are joint third favourites to be relegated, behind Luton and Sheffield United. In our fan previews of each Premier League team, the Wolves blogger Thomas Baugh predicted they will finish “17th. At best.”

Happy new season!

Kick off 8pm.

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