That was a pretty eventful afternoon in the old Premier League. The big winners are Brighton and Southampton. Three of the teams who were beaten now occupy the relegation places: West Brom, Huddersfield and Stoke.
We’ll have fresh, slow-cooked match reports on the website in the next few minutes - you can read them by following this link and pressing F5 repeatedly. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
Full time: West Brom 2-3 Southampton
Southampton win in the league for the first time since November. They’ve played pretty well of late, with a number of draws, and this victory is validation of their work. They have moved up to 14th as a result.
“I hope the dropping of the final letter from a team’s name as you did with Everto is not some trend you are trying to introduce,” says Ian Copestake. “The other half of Merseyside will not be happy.”
Tell it to Twate FC.
Full time: Brighton 3-1 West Ham
Brighton move up to 13th after a fine victory in a game of full of excellent goals.
Full time: Manchester United 2-0 Huddersfield
A straightforward win for Manchester United, with Alexis Sanchez scoring on his home debut.
Full times: Bournemouth 2-1 Stoke, Leicester 1-1 Swansea
Swansea’s fine form continues with a good point at Leicester. And that’s an excellent win for Bournemouth, with both goals coming from substitutes. Eddie Howe is great, the end.
Cardiff have pumped Leeds 4-1 at Elland Road. Neil Warnock will be happy tonight, which isn’t always the case. (Clip contains adult language.)
“Do Arsenal fans still think of Man United as ‘rivals’?” says Matt Dony. “That’s cute...”
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Southampton are keeping West Brom at arm’s length. Their last Premier League win was in November, when they tonked Everto 4-1.
With a few minutes remaining, these are the scores in the Premier League.
- Bournemouth 2-1 Stoke
- Brighton 3-1 West Ham
- Leicester 1-1 Swansea
- Man Utd 2-0 Huddersfield
- West Brom 2-3 Southampton
And you can peruse the latest scores from elsewhere by clicking this thing here.
“Arsenal fans wish Alexis Sánchez all the best,” says Charles Antaki. “Also Theo Walcott. This message come to you from a stress-reduction service, operated on behalf of Arsenal fans sick of seeing ex-players score for rivals.”
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Snakes and Ladders latest As things stand, there are three points between Watford in 11th and Huddersfield in 19th.
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Eddie Howe should be the England manager, shouldn’t he.
GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Stoke (Mousset 79)
Eddie Howe’s substitutions have had a spectacular impact at the Vitality Stadium. Josh King equalised, and now Lys Mousset has headed Bournemouth ahead from a superb Jordon Ibe free-kick.
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GOAL! Brighton 3-1 West Ham (Gross 75)
Pascal Gross embroiders a marvellous individual performance with an excellent goal, smacked past Adrian from inside the D. Brighton are on course for a vital victory.
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The latest in the Premier League
- Bournemouth 1-1 Stoke
- Brighton 2-1 West Ham
- Leicester 1-1 Swansea
- Man Utd 2-0 Huddersfield
- West Brom 2-3 Southampton
And you can peruse the latest scores from elsewhere by clicking this thing here.
GOAL! West Brom 2-3 Southampton (Rondon 72)
This is a humdinger at the Hawthorns. Chris Brunt’s fizzing cross is headed in off the post by Venezuelan goal machine Salomon Rondon, and West Brom are back in the match.
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Stoke City (King 70)
Josh King equalises for Bournemouth! They have been much better in the second half, and probably deserves that smartly taken goal by the substitute King.
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GOAL! Manchester United 2-0 Huddersfield (Sanchez 68)
Alexis Sanchez scores on his home debut, tapping in from eight yards after his penalty was brilliantly saved by Jonas Lossl.
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A win for Manchester United would put them eight points clear of fifth-placed Spurs, who go to Liverpool tomorrow.
GOAL! Brighton 2-1 West Ham (Izquierdo 60)
Jose Izquierdo has put Brighton ahead with a big dipper from long range. What a strike! He retrieved an overhit corner and then, from the left.
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The latest Premier League scores
- Bournemouth 0-1 Stoke
- Brighton 1-1 West Ham
- Leicester 1-1 Swansea
- Man Utd 1-0 Huddersfield
- West Brom 1-3 Southampton
And you can peruse the latest scores from elsewhere by clicking this thing here.
GOAL! Manchester United 1-0 Huddersfield (Lukaku 55)
United have taken the lead at Old Trafford. Mata’s excellent left-wing cross is volleyed smartly into the net at the near post by Romelu Lukaku. That’s a good goal.
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GOAL! West Brom 1-3 Southampton (Ward-Prowse 55)
Ward-Prowse whips a free-kick into the net to extend Southampton’s lead at the Hawthorns. That would be a huge victory for them.
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GOAL! Leicester 1-1 Swansea (Fernandez 53)
Swansea were battered in the first half but now they are level. Federico Fernandez got the goal, applying his noggin to an inswinging corner from Ki.
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As things stand, Southampton will jump to 14th in the table. It’s extremely tight down there, as nobody said to nobody.
Peep peep! The second halves have begun. Go on lads! You can shape your own future in the next 45 minutes!
Half-time
These are the Premier League scores at the break.
- Bournemouth 0-1 Stoke
- Brighton 1-1 West Ham
- Leicester 1-0 Swansea
- Man Utd 0-0 Huddersfield
- West Brom 1-2 Southampton
And you can peruse the latest scores from elsewhere by clicking this thing here.
GOAL! West Brom 1-2 Southampton (Stephens 44)
Two in four minutes for Southampton! Ward-Prowse’s inswinging corner from the left is headed in by Jack Stephens, who got in front of his man at the near post. Southampton may be set to win their first Premier League game since November.
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Sheffield Wednesday are 2-0 down at home to Birmingham, and now they have 10 men after the dismissal of Marco Matias. If they’re not careful, Birmingham will knock them into the middle of next week. (That line is borrowed/stolen from the great Neil Morton.)
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GOAL! West Brom 1-1 Southampton (Lemina 40)
Southampton are level! Mario Lemina, 25 yards from goal, thrashes a superb shot past Ben Foster. I think Foster was unsighted but I doubt he’d have saved it in any case.
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“Just saw the no penalty call with McTominay,” says Nicholas. “How was that not given? The guy leads with his knee.”
It wasn’t a foul, it was ABH.
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GOAL! Brighton 1-1 West Ham (Hernandez 30)
West Ham are level at the Amex Stadium through a high-class finish from Javier Hernandez, who dummied a couple of defenders before belting the ball into the roof of the net.
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Leicester are all over like Swansea like a cheap one, and Wilfred Ndidi has just had a goal disallowed for offside.
As things stand, there are only five points separating the bottom 11 teams in the Premier League.
“By my calculations your ‘steamy foreplay’ took 19 minutes to be completed,” says Ian Copestake. “You sly dog.”
I can take no credit for my gift. You’re either born with it or you’re not.
These are the latest Premier League scores:
- Bournemouth 0-1 Stoke
- Brighton 1-0 West Ham
- Leicester 1-0 Swansea
- Man Utd 0-0 Huddersfield
- West Brom 1-0 Southampton
And you can peruse the latest scores from elsewhere by clicking this thing here.
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Manchester United should have had a penalty at Old Trafford, where the youngster Scott McTominay was emphatically cleaned out by Terence Kongolo. The referee Stuart Attwell gave a drop ball.
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GOAL! Leicester 1-0 Swansea (Vardy 17)
Who needs Riyad Mahrez?!?!?!?! Maguire and Iheanacho combine to free Vardy, who put Leicester into the lead.
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“Afternoon Rob,” says Steven Hughes. “I wonder if anyone at Manchester City has tried to crowbar The Fall’s tune ‘He Pep!’ into use yet? Their oeuvre is so massive that it might have been missed and the late, great Mark E. Smith was a Manchester City fan himself.”
GOAL! Brighton 1-0 West Ham (Murray 8)
Early goals galore in the Premier League. An excellent advantage from the referee Roger East allows Glenn Murray to eventually run through on goal and calmly slide the ball past Adrian.
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“Right,” claps Matt Dony. “With City dropping points, I’m looking for Huddersfield to repeat their heroics against Jose’s Big Time Comedy Troupe (sadly Phil Jones-less), and Liverpool to close the gap to 16(!) points tomorrow. This does not slip! Admittedly, there’s a chance I’m being over-enthused by an inexperienced Wales side sticking it to Scotland in ‘that other game’, but nonetheless. Come on, Wagner!”
GOAL! Bournemouth 0-1 Stoke (Shaqiri 5)
Crikey, Stoke lead against in-form Bournemouth through a header (H-E-A-D-E-R) from Xherdan Shaqiri. It was made by the new signing Badou Ndiaye.
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GOAL! West Brom 1-0 Southampton (Hegazi 4)
A great start for West Brom, and lovers of set-pieces. Brunt’s corner, Hegazi’s header: pick that out.
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The 3pm games are kicking off. In Scotland, Kilmarnock have completed a famous win over the champions Celtic. Youssouf Mulumbu scored the only goal.
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Hard sales pitch
Do you like old football? If so, you might like this. Also, I know where you live.
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“It might be that Guardiola is still learning about English football,” says Bill Hargreaves. “What price a move for Crouch or Carroll in the next window, get Vincent Jones in for a bit of coaching, take a leaf out of Paul Newman’s book.”
A Pep mid-career crisis would be fun. He could wear a baseball cap for every game, do post-match interviews in a Sean Dyche voice and ask that the media refer to him as Big Pep.
“Hey Rob,” says JR in Illinois. “Pardon my French but WTF is Pardew doing benching Rodriguez? Is Pardew afraid Rodriguez’s form is too good or what? The Baggies missing Evans, Gibbs, and Livermore has me feeling very worried.”
Nicky Hunt, Kevin Nolan and Jaaskelainen all on the the same teamsheet. It's like the early 2000s all over again https://t.co/xsbDl3m7S1
— Will Unwin (@Will_Unwin) February 3, 2018
Breaking news: Notts County sign Mario Jardel, Per Frandsen, Ibrahim Ba and Jay-Jay Okocha.
It has finished Burnley 1-1 Manchester City at Turf Moor. City go 16 points clear but have won none of their last three away games in the Premier League. Has Pep Guardiola taken them as far as he can?
West Brom v Southampton team news
Daniel Sturridge starts for West Brom.
West Bromwich Albion (4-4-2) Foster; Dawson, McAuley, Hegazi, Nyom; Phillips, Yacob, Barry, Brunt; Sturridge, Rondon.
Substitutes: Myhill, Jameson, McClean, Burke, Harper, Field, Rodriguez.
Southampton (4-2-3-1) McCarthy; Soares, Stephens, Hoedt, Bertrand; Romeu, Lemina; Ward-Prowse, Boufal, Tadic; Carrillo.
Substitutes: Forster, Yoshida, Davis, Redmond, Hojbjerg, Long, Gabbiadini.
Referee Michael Oliver.
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Manchester United v Huddersfield Town team news
Paul Pogba is dropped, one of four changes from the United side that lost at Wembley on Wednesday night.
Manchester United (4-2-3-1) De Gea; Valencia, Smalling, Rojo, Shaw; McTominay, Matic; Mata, Lingard, Sanchez; Lukaku.
Substitutes: Romero, Lindelof, Pogba, Carrick, Young, Martial, Rashford.
Huddersfield Town (3-4-2-1) Lossl; Zanka, Schindler, Kongolo; Smith, Billing, Hogg, Hadergjonaj; van La Parra, Quaner; Depoitre.
Substitutes: Coleman, Malone, Hefele, Mooy, Pritchard, Ince, Mounie.
Referee Stuart Attwell.
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Leicester v Swansea team news
There’s no Riyad Mahrez in Leicester’s matchday squad. We’re just waiting for confirmation whether he is injured or has been dropped.
Leicester City (4-4-2) Schmeichel; Simpson, Maguire, Dragovic, Fuchs; Albrighton, Silva, Ndidi, Diabate; Iheanacho, Vardy.
Substitutes: Hamer, Chilwell, Benalouane, Gray, Iborra, James, Okazaki.
Swansea City (5-3-2) Fabianski; van der Hoorn, Fernandez, Mawson; Naughton, Fer, Ki, Clucas, Olsson; Dyer, J Ayew.
Substitutes: Nordfeldt, Bartley, Narsingh, Carroll, Routledge, Bony, Abraham.
Referee Anthony Taylor.
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Burnley have deservedly equalised against Manchester City. Scott Murray has the latest news.
Brighton v West Ham team news
Brighton & Hove Albion (4-4-1-1) Ryan; Schelotto, Duffy, Dunk, Bong; Knockaert, Stephens, Propper, Izquierdo; Gross; Murray.
Substitutes: Krul, Bruno, Goldson, March, Baldock, Ulloa, Kayal.
West Ham United (3-5-1-1) Adrian; Collins, Ogbonna, Rice; Byram, Zabaleta, Noble, Kouyate, Cresswell; Joao Mario; Hernandez.
Substitutes: Hart, Reid, Fonte, Haksabanovic, Antonio, Cullen, Hugill.
Referee Roger East.
Bournemouth v Stoke City team news
Bournemouth (3-4-2-1) Begovic; Francis, Cook, Ake; Fraser, Cook, Gosling, Daniels; Ibe, Stanislas; Wilson.
Substitutes: Boruc, Simpson, Surman, Pugh, Arter, King, Mousset.
Stoke City (3-4-2-1) Butland; Zouma, Shawcross, Cameron; Bauer, Ndiaye, Allen, Pieters; Shaqiri, Choupo-Moting; Crouch.
Substitutes: Grant, Johnson, Stafylidis, Adam, Diouf, Sobhi, Berhaino.
Referee Paul Tierney.
Manchester City are on course to move 18 points clear at the top of the table. Scott Murray has the latest from Turf Moor, where Ederson has just made a storming save.
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Preamble
Hello you. The Premier League may not give good title race – only seven out of 26 have gone to the final day, and only three to the final minute – but you can usually put your parachute payment on a dramatic relegation battle. Look at Les Ferdinand’s face here. That kind of glazed, desperate look - once reserved for nightclub dancefloors when the slow songs came on at 1.45am - sums up the raw need to avoid relegation.
It’s safe to assume a few people will wear a similar facial expression on 13 May, the last day of the 2017-18 Premier League season. There are probably 11 teams who could still go down, from Bournemouth in 10th place to West Brom in 2oth. It’s one big game of snakes and ladders, and eight of those teams will be rolling the dice this afternoon.
Bournemouth, who on current form look a decent bet for a second successive top-half finish, are at home to Stoke. West Ham visit Brighton, whose DJ may or may not have Toto on his playlist. And there’s a huge game between West Brom and Southampton, who sit two places and three points above them in the segment of the table that no grown adult should ever refer to as ‘the drop zone’.
There are two other Premier League games. We haven’t forgotten them. Alexis Sanchez should make his home debut for crisis club Manchester United against Huddersfield, while improving Swansea visit Leicester. There are full programmes in Scotland and also the Football League.
We won’t be able to give you updates from all the game, because I am not Kim Peek, but we have a special live scores page that should do the job more than adequately. The outstanding matches are probably Rangers v Hibernian in the SPL, Leeds v Cardiff in the Championship and Luton v Exeter in League Two.
In case you’re into the whole list thing, these are the 3pm Premier League fixtures:
- Bournemouth v Stoke
- Brighton v West Ham
- Leicester v Swansea
- Man Utd v Huddersfield
- West Brom v Southampton
Before the actual football, it’s time for the steamy foreplay I like to call “the team news”.
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