Any old excuse, eh? "You do look a little green, but no more then usual!" honks Reuben Duffy.Photograph: x/x"Security was called after the usual dinner ladies didn't turn up," parps Phil McMillan.Photograph: x/x"Will Manchester United's money making trip to Africa be a blockbusting hit or a box office flop after returning with more than they bargained for," chuckles Alan Neill.Photograph: x/x
"Defra steps in," titters John O'Reilly.Photograph: x/x"It's no mystery!" shouts Alex Keys. "It was Big Phil's first job as Chelsea manager to go to Nigeria heavily disguised as the Man Utd physio." Photograph: x/x"Sir Alex Fergusons latest signing promised to cause a fever amongst the players and fans of Man United," writes Neil Pollock.Photograph: x/xJarrett Horowitz seems to have confused "Manchester United's mystery virus" with "Manchester United sell their souls to the devil". Unless he's making a clever and subtle point that's zipped over our heads ...Photograph: x/xJohn Barry sees Sir Alex Ferguson in a race against time to solve the mystery. Just who is going to make him sick this season?Photograph: x/xWe think John O'Reilly might be referring to this.Photograph: x/xWe're not really sure what Sparky McManus is driving at here, but 'Wayne Rooney as an African tribesman with a hyena on a chain' is too good a concept to leave out.Photograph: x/xAny excuse, eh? This time it's John Barry. "Fergie noticed that Wayne was looking a little bit off colour."Photograph: x/xJohn O'Reilly gains exclusive footage of the disease ...Photograph: x/x
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