Full-time: Manchester City 0-0 Dynamo Kyiv (agg 3-1)
That was 90 minutes that no one will ever get back. But City are into the quarter-finals for the first time in their history. I’m off for a pint. I hope you do something more enjoyable now too. Ah, you’re not actually there are you? I’m talking to an empty room. Bye.
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90+4 min: Late drama, kind of. Kyiv force a fine save from Hart from close range and then Gonzalez shanks a decent chance to make history by giving Kyiv their first ever win in England in Europe when he should have scored. And that, mercifully, is effing that.
90+3 min: Those Kyiv fans may never recover from the realisation that they travelled 1,500 miles for this.
90+1 min: Touré has just decided to pop up again by shrugging off two Kyiv players with his huge muscles and then striding away before squirting a neat pass through to Navas, who, well you know the rest.
90 min: There’ll be four more minutes of this nonsense. That’s just cruel.
88 min: Sterling nutmegs his marker and has loads of time to play a good ball into the box. But instead he sidefoots it into Shovkovskiy’s arms. Here’s something from Mogwai to wake you up …
86 min: Dynamo Kyiv had a shot then after a lovely little backheel from Yarmolenko set up Gonzalez, who forced Hart to make a good save. Drama.
@GreggBakowski Mate, I believe everyone, including OptaJoe has gone to Happy Valley in search of a goal. just sayin..
— Mike A (@mike_jeski) March 15, 2016
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85 min: City are keeping possession and going absolutely nowhere with it. Not that they have to but, come on, people have paid to sit in the cold and watch this.
83 min: It’s 0-0 here. It’s 0-0 between Atlético and PSV.
Patiently waiting for Thursday: the new home of football. pic.twitter.com/kyGWQvUHeu
— Squawka Football (@Squawka) March 15, 2016
81 min: “Switched to ‘obsessive compulsive cleaners’ instead,” says Al in Dublin. “Hell of a game this.” Hell. Yes.
80 min: Silva is off. Sterling is on. Silva and Agüero have been City’s two sparkiest players tonight. Not much competition mind.
77 min: Kyiv win a corner after City’s defenders and Kyiv’s forwards take turns in watching the ball drift across the six yard box with nobody particularly bothered about getting a head on it. Yakovenko’s corner is cleared and Navas gets on his bike and rather than hoof the ball out of play he drifts a lovely pass 40 yards across the Etihad to Agüero, who takes a deft touch with the side of his foot before turning his marker and springing Silva with a delicate pass into the box that Shovkovskiy smothers.
75 min: This game was actually over 15 minutes into the first leg.
72 min: A shot on target! Yes, praise be! Silva sent Agüero scampering down the right wing, the Argentinian looked up and spied Touré on the edge of the box and picked him out expertly. But the big Ivorian’s shot was low, hard and central. It was poor actually but in this game that was like watching a whizzing Franny Lee drive from way back when.
71 min: A Kyiv player has just dinked a ball out of play.
70 min: “Did somebody really take the effort to send you an email correcting your spelling of Otamendi? Is that how exciting the match is?” asks Gavin Reddin. Two people actually Gavin. “As a Manchester United supporter, part of me hates being delighted when rival players go off injured, but then part of me - the most substantial part - says f*** ‘em, they’ve spent four times Leicester’s budget on Mangala alone, and United need all the help they can get!”
69 min: Drums fingers.
0 - There hasn't been a single shot on target in the opening hour of the Manchester City v Dynamo Kyiv match. Snore.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) March 15, 2016
67 min: Some rare excitement as Mangala stumbles and steps on Yarmolenko’s ankle forcing the Kyiv man off for a few minutes. Meanwhile, in exciting Kit-Kat news, if you ever find a whole chocolate one, demand a lifetime supply of them. This law student did.
65 min: Kyiv are giving the ball away with every fourth touch. City are finding new and interesting ways to play back passes to Hart. Stay tuned folks.
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63 min: Two Kyiv changes. Yakovenko is on for Gusev. And Sydorchuk is on for someone. Let’s be honest, does it really matter who?
61 min: Navas does something! Touré’s had a bit of influence in the past few minutes. He slides the ball into Navas on the right-hand side of the box. The Spaniard drops a shoulder and then slams the ball into the far post with a cracking drive. Yes, a cracking drive. That was much better than just winning a corner.
60 min: Touré and Agüero play a one-two on the right. Agüero bursts on to the ball in the box but drives his shot across goal and well wide.
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57 min: “Obviously, Jesus Navas is no Andrei Kanchelsis, but that said, why not post him (from time to time, in game) on the left wing, where he could come infield on his stronger, right foot and just have a go? Isn’t Pellegrini a Chilean? Aren’t they all geniuses?” asks Art Durbano. Have you seen Navas ‘have a go’ Art. The last time he ‘had a go’ in this game the ball ended up in a different postcode.
55 min: Agüero, perhaps after thinking ‘enough is enough’ turns his motor on and tries to whizz through the Kyiv midfield and defence on his own. He makes a good fist of it but as he looks like he’s worked his way into the space to shoot 20 yards out, Garmash flicks out a boot and sends the Argentinian tumbling to the turf. Filth. But necessary filth. Touré spanks the free-kick wide.
52 min: There is a small group of City fans who haven’t stopped singing all night. I suppose you’ve got to keep yourself warm somehow. But, well done those fans. Dragovic has just taken a whack to the shin when Agüero tried to get in front of him and landed on the defender as he stretched. It was a decent ball in from the left by Clichy actually. A rare treat. Like when you buy a Kit-Kat that’s whole chocolate all the way through.
50 min: The most exciting thing to happen so far is a back pass that was hit slightly too hard and made Shovkovskiy have to shift his feet and clear. Happy Valley starts in four minutes. I could MBM that if you like?
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49 min: City win another free-kick after Fernandinho is fouled again. Silva stands over it 30 yards out and whips a ball in to the back post, where Mangala is offside. That was dopey. He was off as the free-kick came in.
47 min: Kyiv knock the ball around a bit before Silva nicks possession and slips the ball to Fernandinho after a lovely pirouette, spins his marker and goes down Didi Hamann-style to win a free-kick.
Peep! It’s the second half. There were more injuries than shots on target in the first half. Excited? Gonzalez is on for Teodordzyk. He’s gone out wide and Yarmolenko has assumed the role of centre-forward.
Dynamo Kyiv’s goalkeeper, Oleksandr Shovkovskiy, made his debut when Radiohead released their first album, Pablo Honey. Let that sink in. He’s 41. And, like most people, I suspect he’s probably only ever heard ‘Creep’ off that album.
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'The point of Navas' section
@GreggBakowski The point of Navas is surely to simply have the dreamiest eyes of any current footballer. Swoonsome. pic.twitter.com/VjqZr0bpeo
— Panini Cheapskates (@CheapPanini) March 15, 2016
Perhaps it’s his ‘swoonsome’ eyes that get him to the byline, where it all quickly goes downhill.
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The physio room
“Thanks for letting us know that Kompany’s injury is ‘the same’ and ‘caused by him slipping’ but, for those of us who have lost track of the details of the City centre-back’s medical history could we be told what the injury is?” asks Matthew Turner perhaps under the impression that I am doing this MBM from Manchester Royal Infirmary. Well Matthew, I thought he’d twanged a hamstring but our readers are under the impression he has knacked his calf muscle again. Poor Vincent. He said he was going to “come back stronger” this time. He’s clearly got legs made of cardboard.
Half-time: Manchester City 0-0 Dynamo Kyiv
Peep! Some would say that was a half of football. It wasn’t. It was merely a physical way to produce a news story about an impending Manchester City defensive injury crisis.
44 min: Some action in my inbox: “It’s Otamendi not Ottamendi!” pipes up John R Smith. Anyway, Otamendi is no longer my concern John. He’s too busy being massaged now. Some action on the pitch too. Fernandinho puts a lovely weight on a pass through to Silva that carves open the Kyiv defence but arrives at Shovkovskiy’s gloves just before it arrives at Silva’s twinkle-toes.
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42 min: “Art Durbano is NOT the only person in history to use the nickname ‘Citizens’; the commentators on CT Sport, NOVA Sport and Digisport, the three main football channels in the Czech Republic and Slovakia, use it all the time,” offers Simon Gill. “They also refer to Everton as ‘Liverpoolsky Everton’ from time to time, which always brings a wry smile to my Red chops.”
40 min: Navas goes on a run down the right and he doesn’t even win a corner. With Agüero overlapping he hits the ball about 10mph faster then he needs to. Dire. Sigh. Groan.
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39 min: Fernandinho nicks possession in midfield and sends Touré off on a weird run in which he is half falling over, half producing neat footwork for at least 30 yards. He finally finds equilibrium and squirt the ball out to Silva. He gets to the byline and pulls the ball back towards Agüero but Dynamo clear. Pfft!
38 min: And the point of Navas is: “He runs very fast and then usually gets a corner. City are woeful at corners and lose possession. Repeat many times.” Wasn’t that also the point of Valencia at Manchester United?
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34 min: Agüero slips on his tail as he attempts to have a shot on target. The result is that the ball bobbles 10 feet wide and 40-odd thousand spectators in Manchester sigh. It’s good this.
32 min: Hart has to produce another solid punch after Kyiv drift a ball into the box that is cleverly flicked on in front of Mangala. Kyiv are having a (very gentle) go here.
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31 min: Mangala tries to liven things up by walloping the ball into Teodorczyk and almost giving the Kyiv forward a free run of goal. He gets a lucky bounce, though, and Zabaleta eventually clear. this prompts Touré to do the rarest of things and burst into a sprint and set up a City move that almost gets Agüero free. This is almost racy stuff.
30 min: Nothing is happening apart from Hart and Touré having a frank exchange of opinions.
29 min: Here’s a take on the Kompany injury.
@GreggBakowski Same injury for Vincent again. As vs Sunderland it was caused by him slipping. Choice of footwear must be questioned. #mcfc
— Chris Prior (@_ChrisPrior) March 15, 2016
And a possible solution.
@GreggBakowski Kompany injury again? He needs to visit the Buddhist monks who placed a charm upon King Power stadium.
— IreOfTheIyer (@gashwiniyer) March 15, 2016
27 min: Demichelis’s first touch of the game is one that connects with Buyalskiy and sends him skittering towards the hoardings. Free-kick wide on the left. Gusev swings a dangerous-looking ball into the box that Hart punches away in commanding fashion.
25 min: Despite this being such a bitty opening to the game City have dominated. But it’s been tedious to watch. Fernandinho has just given a free-kick away by sliding his studs down Yarmolenko’s right foot when the Dynamo player was halfway through some trickery.
23 min: Uh-oh! Manchester United appear to be winning here tonight. Ottamendi has been withdrawn with either a knee injury or a dead leg after that coming together with Buyalskiy earlier. Demichelis is on in his place. So in 23 minutes City have managed to lose both their preferred centre-backs. Impressive.
20 min: This has been very low key. What did we expect? Here’s an email: “If misery for a footballer is the physio’s room, then misery loves Kompany,” writes Justin Kavanagh. Indeed it does. He has very old elastic bands where his hamstrings should be.
19 min: Ottamendi has been booked for returning to the pitch too early. What an utter nonsense. Then Antunes is booked for shoving his boot into Navas’s shin. A proper yellow card after the one that preceded it, you might say.
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18 min: Zabaleta and Navas link up well again on the right and work the ball to Agüero on the edge of the box. the move shifts over to the left with Silva picking up possession and dinking the ball back into Touré. He shapes to shoot but then drifts a lovely pass over to the back post where Zabaleta heads into the box to … nobody.
16 min: Ottamendi is back on the pitch but limping gingerly. So is Buyalskiy. Let’s keep an eye on those two.
14 min: More injury worries for City. Ottamendi and Buyalskiy have clashed knees in wince-inducing fashion in the middle of the pitch. It was a well-timed tackle by Ottamendi but the inside of both players’ knees clonked together as they met. Buyalskiy seems to have felt it more. He’s thumping the floor.
11 min: City win a corner after a smooth move down the right instigated by Silva’s slick little feet. It is he who takes the corner, an outswinger, that is cleared to Navas on the edge of the box. The Spaniard swipes at the ball and sends it into space. Woeful. Speaking of which: “ I’ve watched Citizens all season and still can’t figure this out: Jesus Navas; what exactly does he do?” asks Art Durbano. He sends the ball into space Art. I can tell you that much. Citizens Art? You may be the only person in history to use that nickname.
9 min: Fernando steps in to stop Yarmolenko in his tracks when the Dynamo playmaker was busy doing about three more stepovers than were strictly necessary. That was a fine interception.
7 min: The look on Kompany’s face then. Absolutely crestfallen. Mangala is on in Kompany’s place. He’s barely had time to stretch.
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5 min: Vincent Kompany is injured again! Dear me! Forced into a foot race with Gusov down City’s right the Manchester City captain grimaces as he gains possession turns abruptly and then sidefoots the ball out of play before sitting down in a manner that makes it quite clear the jig is up. He’ll be a huge loss for the Manchester derby but also, quite probably, a future quarter-final.
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3 min: Kyiv have a decent spell of possession, working their way into the box on the left and forcing Kompany to hoof clear in an ugly fashion a little unbecoming of the City captain.
Peep!
1 min: We’re under way. Both teams in blue, City’s obviously a lighter shade than Kyiv’s. Navas and Zabaleta get a little triangular passing going on down the right flank but it doesn’t come to much. Still, a sharp enough start. City look up for this.
The players are out on the pitch. The Champions League anthem rings out – and so do the boos from City’s fans who still have a beef with Uefa over disciplinary action when their fans jeered the anthem – a while back now – after a financial fair play fine.
Some pre-match music to get you in the mood from Holy F***! It’s a good ‘un. It grabs your head and thumps its way in to your brain.
Manuel Pellegrini: “I feel like I have chosen the best team for this moment.” Pellegrini says he has shown faith in Navas, who had a poor game against Norwich, because he believes he can offer much going forwards. Personally I reckon Sterling offers more going forwards and backwards but maybe Pellegrini is thinking he’ll throw Sterling in to the Manchester derby completely rested.
Serhiy Rebrov has just been talking about the challenge facing his team. He bemoaned the winter break and said it was difficult for Kyiv to find their peak level against City but he was happy with the improved second-half performance and believes they a sharper now. Andriy Yarmolenko has scored three in his last three games and if there’s one man you would back to add another game to City’s depressing stat of only having kept one home Champions League clean sheet in 17, it is him.
If Manchester City score a couple of early goals how tempted will Pellegrini be to substitute a couple of his key players before Sunday’s Manchester derby? I’m guessing very tempted, particularly so given that City have two days’ extra rest and could gain a real edge over a United side who have a huge – and probably much more testing – game against Liverpool on Thursday. Expect Agüero’s number to be first up.
Here are some Manchester City Champions League goals, hand-drawn by Rhiannon Brackpool and Lorna Wheele. Very nice they are too.
Red-hot striker stat! Agüero has scored 16 goals in his last 17 Champions League games . Oof! And then there’s this too …
0 - Dynamo Kiev have never won an away game against an English team in European competition (D2 L11). Trouble. pic.twitter.com/vU44hHVPwv
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) March 15, 2016
Yeah, the Manchester City ball should be in the Uefa tombola for the Champions League quarter-finals for the first time ever when that final whistle blows.
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Team news
Manchester City: Hart; Zabaleta, Otamendi, Kompany, Clichy; Fernando, Fernandinho; Silva, Touré, Navas; Aguero. Subs: Caballero, Demichelis, Kolarov, Mangala, Sterling, M Garcia, Bony.
So Touré returns to City’s midfield, Pablo Zabaleta is back in defence and Pellegrini has realised that having Agüero up front on his own is a much better option than having Wilfried Bony steaming around getting in the way and messing things up.
Dynamo Kyiv: Shovkovskiy, Vida, Khacheridi, Dragovic, Antunes, Veloso, Yarmolenko, Garmash, Buyalsky, Gusev, Teodorczyk. Subs: Rudko, Danilo Silva, Yakovenko, Sydorchuk, Korzun, Gonzalez, Makarenko.
Referee: Ovidiu Alin Hategan (Romania)
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Hello. How are we all? Great. Yes, I’m good too. Thanks for asking. Right, that’s the pleasantries over with. Now on to tonight’s match. And what a match! Sorry, wrong match. Yes, let’s be honest, this should, barring a Devon Loch-style calamity by Manuel Pellegrini’s side, be a simple stroll into the quarter-finals. If you’re looking for drama you may want to tune into Happy Valley and see what Sarah Lancashire is getting up to. But I digress. Manchester City lead 3-1 on aggregate. They can afford to lose 2-0 and still go through. City have only been beaten once at home this season by a scoreline that would put Dynamo Kyiv into the last eight (Liverpool in November, who won 4-1). But this Kyiv is nowhere near as sharp as Jürgen Klopp’s November Reds. It’s a tie that has been ruined by the winter break in Ukraine. You could see the flakes of rust coming off Serhiy Rebrov’s players when they were beaten 3-1 in Kiev. They hadn’t played a competitive game in 76 days before that sorry outing. The sharpness they showed in qualifying was still on the sofa, feet up and nowhere to be seen in European football’s elite competition.
Not that City mind. They’ve been far from impressive in the Premier League in the past couple of months, tripping over time and again in the title race and watching Spurs and Leicester scamper off ahead of them. Pellegrini will probably be viewing the Champions League as the competition he’d like to focus on more, what with him doing one at the end of the season (possibly to Zenit if rumours are to be believed) and it being the more glamorous gig. “Of course I think we can do it,” said Pellegrini. “Talking about my personal experience, I did it with another club Málaga and Villarreal, the quarter-finals with both clubs and one of them to the semi-final. It doesn’t matter against who we must play, the important thing is to be in a good moment with a good individual performance, and play as a team in the way we know how to do it. If we do it, I think we can play against all the big teams with big players.”
They’ll have to improve immeasurably to bother Bayern or Juve, Barcelona, Real Madrid et al. But Pellegrini believes his big players will raise their game as they progress in the Champions League and shed any signs of the complacency they have shown domestically. Perhaps he has a point. With there not being as much expectation on City to perform in Europe it could be that they’re better suited to express themselves and play without fear. That’s not something you could have said about City in recent European jaunts, but these are strange times at the pre-Pep Etihad.
Kyiv have won their two league games since they were beaten by City and they lead the Ukrainian league so they may be a bit more up to speed for this second leg. But even City, who can often be bullied by explosive energy if they’re not feeling it, should have enough gas (and talent) in the tank to keep Kyiv at bay. If only Kyiv had a player like Oleg Blokhin among their ranks these days. This goal against Bayern to win the European Super Cup in 1975 was ludicrous.
My prediction: Manchester City 2-0 Dynamo Kyiv (agg 5-1).
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