Thanks for your company. Here is the match report.
Guardiola: “We found the goals. After Xhaka was sent off it was easier for us.
“The game was good. We had problems with the process from Ederson.
“We are the same as we have done in the two or three years in the passed. Always a club has to try to improve and have a desire to get better ... but with these players we are going to go.
“I worked two or three years together [with Arteta]. He is beyond a good manager. We were sad when he left. Sometimes people expect results immediately. Today the team he played is missing six or seven of the players. I am a big fan of him, they trust him and he will do a good job at Arsenal.”
Martin Keown feels “numb”. He goes on to describe the Arsenal formation as tactically naive and it feels comical watching. “It is a real sad day for Arsenal Football Club.”
That’s two 5-0 home wins on the trot for City, which isn’t bad.
Arsenal are currently bottom of the Premier League. Three games, no points, no goals.
Mons Gregemark emails: “Like many other Arsenal fans I had already kind of accepted the possibility of a defeat, but my disappointment at the impending loss has now given way to a kind of perverse euphoria at the prospect of following the carnage that is likely to ensue in the media and among fans.”
Odegaard goes over to applaud the fans and seems to offer a little apology as he does so. Fair play to the Arsenal fans who stayed.
Full-time! Manchester City 5-0 Arsenal
It has to be said, Arsenal started well in the opening six minutes. Sadly, the following 84 were utterly atrocious. They could not defend with 11 men on the pitch and when Xhaka was sent off for a horrific challenge, it only got worse. City barely had to get out of second gear to win this one.
90+1 mins: Mahrez gets the ball in the box, cuts back onto this left foot and hits a lot shot at the front post but Leno gets down well.
City have had 24 shots to Arsenal’s one.
90 mins: Three minutes added on. Not long left for these poor Arsenal players.
The man of the match at the ground was announced as Torres but I agree with McManaman and think Gundogan is the man for the award.
88 mins: Laporte picks up the ball and drives at the Arsenal defence before pinging a shot from 20 yards but it is blocked.
Smith Rowe gets the ball in the City box, is put under pressure by a defender and chucks himself to the floor. This is all a bit sad now.
86 mins: “Perhaps Guardiola is feeling a bit sad that he’s not a player-manager, he could have played today,” Abbas Rizvi says.
I could have played today.
GOAL! Manchester City 5-0 Arsenal (Torres, 84)
Mahrez swings in the cross from the right for Torres to flick into the corner after earning himself a bit of space.
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83 mins: City have made 603 passes to Arsenal’s 102 (more by the time I actually publish this post).
I’d like to say this game could be character building for Arsenal but this team do not have any by the looks of it.
81 mins: Tierney belatedly gets up. Arteta is stood on the touchline, staring into the distance.
Gundogan dinks the ball over the top for Sterling to sprint onto but his outstretched right leg fails to make contact.
79 mins: Tierney is down holding his ankle and does not look happy. Arsenal could be down to nine men soon.
77 mins: Dias crosses for his centre-back partner Laporte but he volleys the ball well over the bar from eight yards.
Mahrez slides a pass through the leaky defence for Sterling to run onto but Leno is out quickly to close the angle and stops the shot.
75 mins: The ball goes into Sterling in the box but Holding reads the danger, conceding a corner in the process. Holding has had a respectable game - a shame about the rest.
The City fans are singing the Touré brothers song, as this is essentially a party now.
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74 mins: Rusty emails: “Having glanced at the team sheet prior to the troops being sent over the top, I was mystified by the inclusion of Soares ahead of Tavares (a player), Kolasinac ahead of Mari (can head head the ball occasionally), and Xhaka ahead of Lokonga (a real player).
“Arteta looked pissed off throughout the West Brom game, so I have no idea what Bergman-esque horrors are going on in his psyche. Eli Roth might be interested.
“If the boot marked “do one” lands at tea time, I reckon most Gooners will be glad to see the back of him.
“A new manager, even an interim stopgap, would then have three games (Norwich, Burnley, and AFC Wimbledon) to get something approaching a team on the pitch, before the Spuds arrive at the Emirates.
“Heaven forfend that Arteta should be there with his tactical white flag for the NLD.
“This defence will self-destruct (again) in 30 seconds.”
73 mins: All the Arsenal players are no further than 30 yards from their own goal. City are just toying with them. Laporte is now playing left wing.
71 mins: Maitland-Niles is coming on for Ødegaard. Maybe the former will not mind being sold in the week, as is rumoured.
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69 mins: Mahrez dinks a cross to Sterling in an acre of space inside the area, allowing to direct a header towards the top corner but Leno tips it over.
A few pints may have been had in Manchester by Arsenal fans at 1.30pm.
@will_unwin did British Rail have a half time train ready at Piccadilly?
— Jon.Ogara (@ogara_jon) August 28, 2021
67 mins: City have had 97% of the possession in the past five minutes. Lordy.
Rodri is booked for kicking Tierney, which is a victory of sorts for Arsenal.
“If Arsenal get relegated do Everton win football?” asks Tom Collins. “(As the only team to have always played in the top flight). The Derby D’England if you will...” Sure.
65 mins: Lots of City fans will be saying they do not need a striker after this performance. What they need to remember is just how rubbish Arsenal are.
63 mins: Rodri swings a cross to Laporte at the back post but his header goes just wide.
Jon Ingram finds more positives for Arsenal: “It’s not all doom and gloom, Gooners. I make us favourites for silverware in 2023 when we win the Championship.”
61 mins: Kolasinac has gone down in his own area, probably to have a rest. Mahrez on for Jesus. No rest for the wicked.
“Arteta will rightly be criticised after today’s game but outside of two or three managers operating now, who could be a success at Arsenal?” asks Stephen Carr. “An average first 11, a below average squad, a board who blatantly don’t care, a completely disenfranchised fan base and a deep rooted, club wide sense of ‘meh’. You’ll need a combination of Klopp, Guardiola and Obama to get anything out of them...”
Obama has throw-ins coach would be good.
59 mins: LACAZETTE ON FOR AUBAMEYANG. THE COMEBACK IS ON!
Delaying the inevitable.
“It looks Leno will be off next year..."@Will_Unwin "Then why continue with Leno? "
— J-Dubs (@JDubs100J) August 28, 2021
They don't want to destroy Ramsdale's confidence by having him play against City..?
57 mins: Sterling is coming on, as Guardiola has a sense of humour. Poor Cedric and his utter uselessness.
Lacazette is primed to enter the fray, which should help no one.
Abbas Rizvi emails: “Every Arsenal fan is now reminiscing the oasis that was Arsene Wenger. Even in his last years, Arsenal still were considered a top six team. Now they’ve fallen to having objectives of finishing in the top half of the table, and even that seems a nigh impossible task considering the capabilities of West Ham, Everton, Leeds and Wolves.”
55 mins: Bernardo Silva gets in space down the left, as Cedric is permanently out of position, then whacks a cross which deflects wide.
GOAL! Manchester City 4-0 Arsenal (Rodri, 53)
Like a lot of people over Bank Holiday weekend, City have gone camping. Their chosen destination is the edge of the Arsenal box, where they pass the ball around for a minute, before Torres lays the ball off to Rodri on the edge of the area, from where he curls his shot into the bottom corner.
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51 mins: Leno sticks out his arm to repel a Bernardo Silva shot from about eight yards out. Something for the scrapbook.
“I’m not a tactical genius,” Mike MacKenzie admits, “but maybe Arsenal should switch to a 7-2-0 formation to limit the damage?”
I am not sure nine defenders could help Arsenal.
49 mins: Cancelo pings another cross above the six-yard line but no one can get a head on it, mainly as Bernardo Silva is a little too short.
47 mins: Keown calls on the Arsenal players to “to play for the shirt, for the club”, which is quite funny.
Cancelo, now a right-back, curls in a cross with the outside of his boot but he defeats everyone.
Second half
Here we go again!
Arsenal have come back out, so you have to give them credit for that. Elneny comes on for Saka, while Zinchenko replaces Walker.
“Xhaka idiotic, his manager’s reaction viewing the VT on the bench and looking grievously wronged might say a lot about what the board should do with him,” says Clive Darwell.
I was also bemused by this.
“Sitting here in south Louisiana as Hurrican Ida bears down, so I feel entitled to comment on impending disaster,” writes Michael Hellberg. “How low could Arsenal go? Any real chances of flirting with relegation? The talent who seem better than that, but spirit and leadership go a long way.”
They will be mid-table fodder once more, that’s fore sure. Stay safe out there.
David Wall emails: “Perhaps it’s a bit early to start thinking about this, but if the title race is going to be as tight as has been predicted then could it be significant in the long term how badly Arsenal capitulate in the second half? If they’re no better than in the first half then City will already have a goal difference in double figures after 3 games. True, they can’t play Arsenal every week but other teams might not so ruthlessly put them away, as we saw last weekend when Chelsea coasted through their goal-less second half.”
The more goals the better.
Funny if true.
@Will_Unwin Is it just me or are the City fans singing “Are you Arsenal in disguise”?
— Richard Stanton (@Generali11) August 28, 2021
“Maybe David Luiz wasn’t such a bad defender after all,” suggests John Cox. He is still available.
The last time Arsenal got a pre-deadline day thrashing in Manchester (8-2 v United), they brought in Arteta to steady the ship. Maybe Andre Santos will be brought back.
“Any chance Arteta might just sidle over to the Man City bench at half time and pretend it never happened?” asks Ciaran Brennan. “Just a fever dream.”
Half-time: Manchester City 3-0 Arsenal
The game is all over as Arsenal’s defence is ruddy awful and they only have 10 men on the pitch following Xhaka’s sending off. City have another 45 minutes to toy with what used to be Arsenal Football Club.
45+2 mins: “Arsenal fans, please remove your children from the room,” comes the warning from Mary Waltz. “Don’t Let them witness this. It will scar them for life.”
45 mins: City are just knocking the ball around at a pretty slow tempo but it still looks pretty dangerous against the 10 men of Arsenal, as they showed for the third.
“Afternoon Will,” says the greeting from Stephen Carr. “A defensive horror show and a beserk Xhaka red card. All we need now is a hopelessly contrived reaction on Arsenal Fan TV and we’ve got a Full House in Gunners Bingo.”
Three minutes added on.
GOAL! Manchester City 3-0 Arsenal (Jesus, 43)
The ball is sent down the left by Torres to Grealish who lines up Chambers, beats him and taps the ball into the feet of Jesus who takes a touch and slides in from six yards.
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41 mins: Leno punches a corner clear but City come straight back at an Arsenal back nine that is camped in their own half.
At this point, I would like to repeat that Arsenal looked good in the opening six minutes.
Gary Byrne has the answer: “I fear this can only end one way for Arsenal: Big Sam in charge at the Emirates.”
39 mins: Torres shoots from the edge of the area but his effort is diverted wide by Tierney’s left boot. This will be a long final 50 minutes or so for Arsenal.
37 mins: Xhaka trudges off down the tunnel. It was a stupid challenge from the Swiss midfielder.
“It looks Leno will be off next year so Ramsdale will be first choice,” suggests Malcolm Higgins. “Not all that much money really for a young capped English keeper.”
Then why continue with Leno? Cut your losses and do not let Ramsdale sit on the bench for a year.
RED CARD! Xhaka (35 mins)
The Arsenal midfielder lunges in from a yard away with both feet off the ground. He gets contact on the ball before Cancelo but it is a shocking challenge.
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33 mins: Mary Waltz says: “Considering the talent deficit Arsenal should be parking the bus and hoping for a mistake on the counter. Going toe to toe with the big boys is a fools errand.”
I do not think they have much hope overall.
31 mins: Tierney makes the most of a lapse in concentration from Walker, getting in front of the England defender and into the box, before going down in the hope of getting a penalty but the referee is not keen.
Scott Stricker emails: “It’s probably said too often how players “stop playing” for the manager and I know the Arsenal PR machine talks a lot about the togetherness in the squad, but basic effort, strength, and hustle is missing in this squad. How can they be together when they so consistently let each other down?”
29 mins: Kolasinac catches Jesus in the face with a stray arm on the right touchline, causing the Brazilian much pain. The defender is booked for his indiscretion.
Aubameyang is back in the Arsenal lineup in the Premier League today but you would not know it. He has barely touched the ball.
27 mins: Ederson has not been at the races today. His latest failing is kicking the ball straight out for throw-in, much to Guardiola’s chagrin, as he waves his arms around in disgust. He follows it up with pinging a pass straight along the ground to Odegaard 30 yards out from the City goal but Arsenal fail to make anything of it.
25 mins: Cedric pulls back Grealish for little to no reason. I do not think the Portuguese will last the 90 minutes here today, one way or another.
“This match is like a training match between the seniors and the U19 teams- I mean this quite literally,” writes Joe Harvey. “The last three matches, the opposing team has found something that works and Arsenal have been absolutely unable to pick up on it and adjust. Very worrying- that’s a management failure. Yes Chelsea and City are very good, but you expect adjustment and failure, not a complete failure to adjust.”
23 mins: When looking at the Arsenal XI and bench, all I keep thinking is about why they have spent so much money on a second choice goalkeeper, when their team is so weak in certain areas.
21 mins: Ederson is obviously very bored and takes a good three touches too many in front of his own goal and then passes it straight at Smith Rowe but the ball rebounds off the midfielder’s foot and goes inches wide. Shoddy from Ederson.
Balaji says: “Arsenal are celebrating their 10th anniversary of 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford (August 28, 2011) in some style today!”
I do not have the energy to type up that many goals.
19 mins: Rob Holding is from nearby Stalybridge, I believe, so at least he might get to see some family while he is up north. Take the positives out of it, Rob.
17 mins: Jesus pings a cross into the box from the right, straight at Torres but he steers his shot wide from around the penalty spot, possibly confused by Rodri’s movement in front of him.
15 mins: I know relatively little about football but I have spent the week telling people how ruddy awful Arsenal are, so it is quite nice to be right for once.
GOAL! Manchester City 2-0 Arsenal (Torres, 12)
Arsenal really are awful at the back. A low cross is sent into the box from a central position, which Cedric fails to clear and it lands at the feet of Torres who taps home from six yards. How it made it through so easily is perverse. After a bit of a VAR delay as they look at a foul, the goal is given.
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11 mins: Cancelo pings a cross to the back post from the left for Gundogan to attack, he knocks it into the heart of the six-yard box but Leno does get it right on this occasion and gets a fist on the ball before a defender clears.
9 mins: The moment I wrote Arsenal were the better team, I should have known they would throw the early hard work out of the window immediately.
GOAL! Manchester City 1-0 Arsenal (Gundogan, 7)
City’s first attack ends with the opening goal. Jesus loops a cross into the box, Leno misreads it and it goes over him and then 6ft odd Chambers is beaten in the air by little Ilkay Gundogan. Poor from Arsenal.
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6 mins: Tierney swings in a cross from the left which makes its way to Saka at the back post, where he gets a little nudge in the back from Cancelo, resulting in his shot being kneed wide. Arsenal the better of the two teams in the opening stages.
Torres is down the middle for City once again as he looks to make that position his own in the absence of anyone else.
4 mins: Arsenal are looking lively in the opening stages, pinging passes around at a decent speed. They are also giving it their all when it comes to pressing.
2 mins: The Arsenal formation looks fluid at the moment, mixing it up between a four and five at the back. Could this bamboozle City?
Kick-off!
Peep! Peep! Peep! Here we go!
Yash Gupta is here to bring Gunners hope, he says: “I’m not an Arsenal fan and would love them to lose heavily, but if their defence can hold it together, they have a chance. Surely Aubameyang would like to score a cracker to get into, erm Man City XI.”
“I wonder where this one rates on the Arsenal Fans’ Advance Resignation to Defeat Index?” Charles Antaki ponders. “The Index pretty high against Chelsea last week, then came down quite markedly ahead of the WBA game, now surely it must be getting quite close to the shoulder-shrugging region? Actually, looking at the back line, we might be into the let’s-catch-up-on-some-housework-instead zone.”
I spoke to an Arsenal fan on Thursday and he was resigned to defeat then. More so after the teams were announced.
It is a lovely sunny day in Manchester, I can confirm.
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“Do Arsenal have three goalkeepers on team list, so that in the event of a ‘tennis score’, all three can let goals and player bonuses get deducted accordingly?” Asks Balaji. I think Arsenal’s lack of squad depth is being laid bare. Perhaps provocatively so with the window closing in a few days.
Mary Waltz says: “Morning Will. Forgive me if I don’t feel sorry for Pep, it’s not as if he has a bunch of beer league players to throw on the pitch.”
I do not think he wants your pity, do not worry, Mary.
One of my neighbours is currently having her first driving lesson and it looks like I am watching her as she slowly moves the car away. Seeing as I was watching, I might as well blog about it.
City learned their Champions League fate yesterday.
A couple of people have been in touch about whether Arsenal will have a back three/five or a four. I was seeing it as a four with Tierney in front of Kolasinac but I am probably wrong. A central midfield of Smith Rowe, Xhaka and Saka would be a bold choice.
Not only is there a Vincent Kompany statue in east Manchester now but David Silva has one.
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Will Guardiola leave in two years or not? Here is what he has to do before he goes.
Told ya. It’s very un-Pep-like.
0 - Manchester City have named an unchanged starting XI in a Premier League match for the first time since naming the same XI against Chelsea and Stoke City in September/October 2017. Consistency.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) August 28, 2021
Arsenal are missing Nicolas Pepe as he is unwell, which is a further blow to the team. He has looked half-decent this season, at times, so a break in his momentum will underwhelm Arteta.
City are unchanged from the team which beat Norwich last week, which is a very un-Pep thing to do. The Canaries found out how good City can be and Guardiola seems happy to let them do it again, especially with an international break coming up.
Get yourself in the mood for the match today with something I wrote yesterday. It started as a very different piece at 9am on Friday morning.
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That Arsenal back four is ... ermmmmm ... interesting. I had forgotten Kolasinac was at the club. He has spent the summer being linked to every man and his dog, as Arsenal look to get rid. He played in midweek against West Brom, which has convinced Mikel Arteta he is the man to keep the City forwards quiet.
Starting lineups
Manchester City: Ederson, Walker, Dias, Laporte, Cancelo, Rodrigo, Gundogan, Bernardo, Grealish, Torres, Jesus.
Subs: Steffen, Stones, Ake, Sterling, Zinchenko, Fernandinho, Mahrez, Doyle, Palmer.
Arsenal: Leno, Chambers, Holding, Kolasinac, Cedric, Xhaka, Smith Rowe, Tierney, Saka, Odegaard, Aubameyang
Subs: Ramsdale, Okonkwo, Tavares, Mari, Maitland-Niles, Lokonga, Elneny, Martinelli, Lacazette
Good morning
What a Friday it was at Manchester City where the world woke up thinking they were about to sign Cristiano Ronaldo and went to bed confused after a whirlwind of a day that ended with him landing back at Old Trafford.
Whether that will have an impact on today is unknown. City players were already discussing the prospect of teaming up with Ronaldo but are now left wondering if the club can find any striker willing to fill the squad’s void. Luckily for Pep Guardiola et al, they only have to play Arsenal today and they have been pretty mediocre this season against everyone except West Brom.
City might not have the extra striker Guardiola has been searching for this summer but the lads he does have at his disposal did alright last week when they thrashed Norwich. They seem to have clicked after a tough opening day at Tottenham. Similar free-flowing football might be too much for Arsenal’s creaky defence.
The Gunners are a shadow of their former selves and everyone expects them to get a hiding today, but could that liberate them? Probably not, to be honest, as they are quite average. But, as Friday showed, anything can happen in a short space of time.
Here’s to a cracking 90 minutes.
