ST. LOUIS COUNTY _ Jason Booker said he called the mother of his 1-year-old son, Isaiah, almost every day.
That's how it always was between the two, whether they were on again or off again throughout their nine-year relationship, he said.
"Even when we weren't together, we were together," he said. "She was my heart."
But in mid-May, that changed.
Ashley Cotton, 25, stopped answering his calls. For about two weeks, no one heard from her.
Booker, 45, said he wanted to respect her privacy. She was in a new relationship. She had recently moved to her own apartment. So he sent others, such as his nephew and aunt, to knock on the door. She didn't answer.
"She was a grown woman, you know? I didn't want to just barge up in there," Booker said. "I should have just kicked in the door."
He finally called police. Officers entered her apartment in north St. Louis County about 8 p.m. on June 1 and found the bodies of mother and son inside.
Booker said Cotton had recently been diagnosed with pancreatitis and probably drank herself to death. Her body was in an advanced state of decomposition on her bedroom floor. Isaiah's body was in the bathroom, he said.
St. Louis County police found evidence that the toddler accidentally locked himself inside the bathroom after his mother died. He died from dehydration and starvation.
Cotton's toxicology results were consistent with the family's statements about alcoholism, but her final cause of death is awaiting further analysis, according to the St. Louis County Medical Examiner's Office.
Alcoholism was a lifelong struggle for Cotton, who, along with her brother, was put up for adoption. She told Booker she had been abused as a child, and ran away at 15.
And, in the days leading up to her death, no one close to her knew she was struggling, again, Booker said.
Her brother, Justin Cotton, 21, said one of his last conversations with his sister was when he called to wish her a happy Mother's Day.
"She seemed fine," he said. "I didn't hear anything in her voice. But you never really hear those things."
Her Facebook profile picture is of her son, his smile beaming into her camera. Many posts feature a picture of him with words such as "Love bonding with him."
On Feb. 16, she posted a picture of herself to Facebook. "Stress free. Loving life right now," the caption read.
Just days earlier, she had posted a video of Isaiah, saying she and her baby had been baptized.
Cotton's dream was to become a counselor to help other young women who struggle with abuse and addiction, but she never made it back to school, Booker said. She worked odd jobs in the service industry, most recently in hotel housekeeping.
Earlier this year, Cotton told him she had pancreatitis, a painful inflammation of the pancreas that prevents the body from properly absorbing nutrients. Booker said the last few times he saw Cotton, she looked noticeably thinner to him and admitted she had been drinking heavily again.
Booker recently sat with relatives inside his home in Ferguson, unsure how he will find the strength to move on. The outdoor work he does for a landscaping company helps keep his mind occupied, but when he comes home, reality sets in. Friends rarely let him be alone.
"If there's one thing I've learned throughout this whole experience, it's how many loving and amazing people I have around me," he said.
And he's been advising everyone around him about helping those struggling with depression or addiction.
"Tell someone close to you, or go to a counselor, find the help you need, because all of these lives are torn apart now."
