A man has taken to Reddit to admit that he feels uncomfortable by his girlfriend's unwillingness to shower more frequently.
Asking for advice on the Am I The A**hole forum, the man said he has talked to his girlfriend about his concerns on many occasions, but she doesn't seem to take what he says on board.
He said: “My girlfriend and I live together. Have been dating for a few years, but just moved in together six months ago.
“Something I had noticed a bit before, but is now really apparent since we spend even more time together is her BO.
“I knew she didn't like to shower when we are dating, but I didn't know she only showers once every 7-10 days.”
The man said he had told his girlfriend that others around her have also made comments about her hygiene but that this doesn't seem to have any impact on her.
He said: “We've had conversations about how I think it should be more frequent than that (at least 3 days) and that its embarrassing that I should even mention that she smells and that if I can tell, other people can as well.
“She says that someone would have told her if she did. I had to let her know that one of her friends told me in confidence because it was embarrassing and my mother, friends have said things before.
“She doesn't want to shower more frequently because she says the water isn't good for her hair, but doesn't have a good response when I told her I'd get her a shower cap / she doesn't have to wash her hair every time.
“My concern is that we've had this conversation over a dozen times, but it doesn't seem to have changed at all.
“She has started showering regularly at exactly 7 days, but I don't think that is enough.
“I feel like an AH for noticing how often she showers, but it makes it uncomfortable to sleep in the same bed (her hair smells greasy even if it doesn't feel it) and I want a little femininity out of my SO (shaven legs, etc.).
“Speaking of femininity, when she is on her period she doesn't want to shower since "she doesn't feel clean," which I can understand to an extent. So that adds another 3-5 days between bathing depending on where it lines up.
“Most recently, and what led to this post, was that day 7 she started, so she took a shower on day 11.
“For me, its on the edge of accepting that we all have personal freedom to do what we'd like, yet I feel like there is a certain expectation for hygiene and that I'm not asking too much.
“My biggest concern is what happens when we have children and what will be acceptable/ ok then.”
